Don't Turn The Lights On
by PinkPillow
Summary: Heya fic. They can't deny there's something there, but they'll try.    Disclaimer: This is purely fictional. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: One of these days it will kill you**

Heather sat on a bench just around the corner of the parking lot. Her legs were still sore from the day's practice. And over the sound of her blaring ipod she could still make out Zach's indistinct voice directing her moves. With her legs stretched out, she let eye-lids close behind white shades, dozing off in the heat of the afternoon sun.

It always took her a while to completely unwind. Her tight muscles began to relax as Foster The People zoned out the street noises. Her wandering mind gathered random moments of the day - like Kevin's excitement over the YouTube video of sea-turtles having sex - bringing a lazy smile to her lips. As the memory of a throaty laughter invaded her thoughts, her eyes shot open creasing at the blasting sun that faced her. She closed them again, clearing her throat for no particular reason, trying to relax again. It was already too late. The owner of the contagious laughter was already drowning her brain. She smiled, despite herself, letting her head fall back as the image of her best friend took over her mind.

_Shiny waves of black hair fell on slim shoulders framing her gorgeous, pensive face. Brown eyes were lost, staring aimlessly at the ground, as she taped distracted fingers on her knee. The girl was sitting on Artie's wheelchair, in the middle of the choir room, oblivious to everyone around her. As her eyes gained focus she took notice of the blonde standing on the doorway, watching her. With the saddest smile ever to grace those otherwise perfect lips, she held out a hand motioning for the dancer to come closer. Heather did, silently. She sat on the floor, resting her arm against the left wheel, letting Naya's fingers trace soft patterns against her forehead. Her eyes closed at the touch, holding back tears she couldn't understand._

That was the day she told her _he_ was moving in.

The pang in her chest made her open her eyes again, her nose already burning under the sun. She took long breaths to calm her heavy heart. She needed to get a grip. She had no idea where these mood swings were coming from. Whatever it was, it needed to stop. She swore that if she had time to spare she would go to a therapist. Especially now, that her walking diary - Ashley – had moved out.

To be honest, she never dwelled on it. She wouldn't let herself do so. She tried not to over think things and, even now, as images popped in her head without warning she wouldn't try to figure out why. She just wanted a happy, peaceful existence. That's all she wanted. But she could never really ignore the associations, could she?

No, she wouldn't go to any therapists. No one would know exactly when to stop pushing like Ashley did. It was better to just ignore it.

"Think happy thoughts, Heather. Happy thoughts."

_Naya was squirming underneath her, her wrists trapped by Heather's firm grip against the couch._

"_Come on, Hemo! You've had your fun. Now let me go."_

"_Oh really, should I let go?"_

"_I've said I'm sorry…"_

_Naya bargained, her voice already bubbling with laughter._

"_And you think sorry will do, you sneaky minx? You scared me to death and you're still laughing."_

"_I told you I would! Who would even warn beforehand? You should consider yourself lucky."_

"_You told me last week. Last week! How was I supposed to know I would come home and have Jason jump out of my closet and attack me?"_

"_The closet will kill you. Don't say I never warned you."_

_The glint in brown eyes made Heather agitated. She gripped her friend's wrists tighter, moving impossibly closer to her face._

"_Not before I kill you."_

_With that she let go of her wrists moving to Naya's waist, tickling her weakest spot just above her hips._

_Naya screamed in anticipation, laughing in tears as she tried to get a hold of Heather's hands._

"_Truce! Truce!"_

_Heather stopped her tickling spree, but her hands remained on Naya's stomach, under the firm pressure of the other girl's palms._

"_That will teach you."_

_Naya smiled lazily, her eyes fixed on blue ones._

"_I still love you, though."_

_It came out. They weren't shy about expressing their friendship, still it made the blonde blush, looking away while laughing lightly at herself._

"_I love you too. More than I probably should…"_

_Heather met her eyes, hesitating as she hovered above her. There was a pause. None moved or spoke during that time, as their eyes scanned every inch of skin of each other's features. When their eyes met again, both girls seemed clueless. Their smiles grew bigger as they both cracked up easing the tension between their bodies. Heather rested her head on Naya's chest, feeling her speeding heartbeat against her ear._

"_We're silly." She said, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach._

"It will kill you, one of these days."

Heather looked up to find Dianna standing in front of her. Sharp eyes and an understanding smile adorning her face.

"The sun?"

"That head of yours."

"You think?" Heather asked honestly, her voice weaker than she anticipated.

"Go home, Hemo." With gentle fingers, the shorter blonde moved a strand of hair from anxious blue eyes, "Your prince charming is waiting for you."

Heather smiled lightly, playing with the hem of her shirt, a weird clench of guilt weighting down her limbs. Sighing tiredly, the dancer stood up, following Dianna's lead to the parking lot.

As she started the engine, she caught a glimpse of brown hair from the corner of her eye. She exhaled slowly, a breath she didn't know she was holding, as her co-star came into view. The petite brunette was talking animatedly on the phone, waving Heather goodbye. The blonde waved back at Lea, before driving off to the exit. Time to go home, she thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Why don't you come over**

It had become a habit. Almost every weekend the cast would gather at Naya's for a late supper on a lazy Saturday. It was so engraved in her skin, that she had to shut down the burning disappointment every time her boyfriend would fly for a visit making Heather miss her cherished ritual.

Now they lived together. Maybe it was time to start bringing him too; maybe it was time to stop the ritual. She chose the best rational option: still go without him because they can't always be together. It's not healthy, she would remind him.

Yes, she saw the cast every day of the week for hours on end. One dinner less shouldn't be such a big deal. But this wasn't just a dinner. A dizzying mix of spices and herbs whose smell alone made her mouth water - wasn't just a dinner. The way Naya effortlessly moved around the kitchen preparing colorful meals with such care - wasn't just a dinner. The way the heat from the kitchen would surround the living-room making her relax so completely after a week of hard work - wasn't just a dinner. It was her Saturday bliss.

This weekend most of the cast had other plans, leaving only Telly, Heather and Kevin to enjoy her delicious cooking skills. Heather was now sitting on a stool by the kitchen island, watching her friend as she meticulously cut thin slices of onion. She could feel the smile on her own face, her cheeks hurting from holding it for so long but unable to make it stop. Naya glanced her way, a knowing smirk adorning smiling lips.

"Someone can't enough of my enchiladas."

"I know! I'm in love…"

"With the cooker or the cooking?"

The voice caught Heather's attention. She looked over her shoulder acknowledging the new presence.

Telly entered the kitchen, drink in hand.

"I love Naya, but it's the food that keeps bringing me back."

"Isn't it delicious?" Telly pressed on, a teasing look on his devilish face.

Kevin joined them still scrunching the salty appetizers left in the other room.

"Where did you guys run off to? You know you can't leave me alone with these crackers."

"I came to check how the food was going and found Heather ogling the cooker."

Kevin burst out laughing. Heather slapped Telly's head lightly, trying to ignore the usual innuendo behind her friend's comments.

"She's practically married, what are you saying?"

Heather's eyes quickly shifted back to the girl in front of her who seemed completely unaware of the conversation going on.

"It's not ready, guys. You'll have to wait a couple more minutes."

"Do you need any help?" Heather asked standing up and moving toward the brunette.

"You've been here for the past fifteen minutes and only now you're offering?" Telly noted nudging Kevin.

"Like you guys did anything besides drinking…"

"Hey, I set the table!" Kevin replied walking over to Naya to take a whiff of the delicious smell already brewing from the pan.

"And I brought dessert." Telly added. "What did you do, besides staring?"

"Guys!" Naya stopped them. "I don't mind the company." She added throwing a soft smile at the blonde on her left, before finishing her chopping.

Heather smiled, the blush slowly leaving her ears. She watched her friend's profile for a second more before convincing her legs to move away and return to her original spot on the stool.

Kevin rested his chin on Naya's shoulder, jumping back as the sting of the onion's smell invaded his nostrils.

"Argh, bee! That stuff is heavy! Damn!"

"I know! Look at me, it's senior prom again and I'm crying my eyes out."

The room laughed easily. Everyone but Heather. The reference to the girl's broken heart due to some overrated jock, who clearly had no taste, made her a little uneasy and again surprisingly guilty.

"That guy was a jerk." She couldn't help whispering.

"Well, he's married now. So I guess he was right. Stephanie really was his one true love." Naya responded, a hand over her heart in mock emotion.

Heather forced a smile before stealing Telly's glace and taking a long swig of red wine, all the while ignoring his probing look.

Unsurprisingly, the food was fantastic. Heather was lying on the couch, her bulging stomach well satisfied, while her groggy eyes watched as the ice melted on her Long Island Ice-Tea. Kevin sat on the floor, his head resting on her knees, skipping through channels with Naya's remote, cracking up loudly at the mid-sentences he would get.

Yes, they were a little drunk.

Looking back at her other friends, she caught Telly shaking his hips to an improvised choreography commanded by Naya. The laughter erupted from Heather's throat, gaining Naya's attention, who pointed at her devilishly.

"Your turn!"

Heather stood up immediately; her buzzed body regaining energy with the thought of dancing. She moved next to Telly and started going down on him waving her arms goofily. The sound of Naya's rising laughter urged her on. She twirled and jumped around Telly gaining Kevin's attention too, who changed to a music channel before throwing the remote away, already excited with his new entertainment. Telly grabbed Heather and they waltzed around the living-room before doing an exaggerated tango. Naya and Kevin were already crying with laughter.

Heather looked at her brunette best friend, a large grin on her face as she watched her applaud them. Impulsively she walked up to her, her dancing turning more predatory as she stepped closer. Naya's laughter died in her lips, turning into a full-on smirk. Naya opened her arms welcoming Heather who bent down in front of her, displaying her toned legs and firm butt. She sat on the smaller girl's legs, rolling her shoulders as she brought her cleavage to the brunette's face. She couldn't hear the boys cheering behind her, as she focused solely on the accelerated breathing of the brunette. Naya was good at shielding her emotions, much better than Heather – that's for sure. But the blonde knew her long enough to watch her body instead of her apparently controlled expression.

Heather's eyes were pulled to the rise and fall of her friend's bust chest. She blinked away fast, noticing her dancing had slowed down, and pulled Naya up with her. They grinded against each other turning Naya's house into a temporary dance club.

"Steamy." She heard Telly comment in his slurred speech.

Naya heard it too, suddenly moving next to him changing dance partners. Heather's stomach burnt, her drunken possessive side taking the best of her, but she continued dancing. Kevin joined her in a robotic dance that had everyone laughing again.

They had been unstoppable until Telly shouted.

"Cocktail time!"

Two Cosmopolitans and a Piña Colada later, Heather was back on the couch. Her rosy cheeks and messy hair gave away her already pretty drunk state. Too tired to play any more games or even go home, the group decided to watch movies.

Kevin and Telly sat in big puffy pillows in front of the TV, while the girls cuddled cozily in the couch. Watching classic horror movies caused more laughter than actual fear, still the blonde found Naya in her arms, her head on Heather's shoulder, gripping the dancer's arms tightly whenever the scary music would start. It was beyond adorable how the anticipation seemed to scare her more than the actual shocker moments. Heather glanced down, watching Naya's forehead furrow before brown eyes met her own. She would always catch Heather looking. Blushing, the blonde turned back to the tv screen, but not before Naya gripped her arm comfortingly.

As the movie played in front of them, Heather let her nose brush Naya's hair, taking her time feeling the fresh smell of flowers invade her nostrils. It was such a Naya smell. It felt like Heather had entered an exotic garden, the mixture of aromas leaving her light-headed. She shifted slightly to peck the girl's temple, her lips remaining on her skin for longer than they should have.

Naya adjusted on the couch, moving further into Heather's arms without her eyes ever leaving the horror flick. Her hands traced patterns on Heather's clothed stomach causing a familiar, yet uninvited, heat on her skin. The chills were starting. Soon the butterflies would turn into something much more uncomfortable, something that would make her have to move away. Sometimes she would even discreetly go to the bathroom to spill cold water on her neck and chest - relieving the tension - pretending she didn't notice how her veins boiled, how her center ached.

Heather really didn't want to move, or deal with that, so she interlaced their fingers over her stomach ceasing Naya's movements.

This notion bothered her. Her usual almost lovesick behavior never bothered Naya. The girl either found it cute or smirked knowingly while purposefully ignoring her intense stares. Still, Heather felt inappropriate when she was aware of her own behavior. If people didn't point it out, she wouldn't give it a second thought. But as soon as the voices got inside her head, she second-guessed her every action. That's part of the reason why she stopped watching her own interviews. It was cringe worthy how forced she sounded every time she ordered herself not to mention the brunette. Ashley seemed to find it hilarious; only her roommate would find humor in something as embarrassing.

It's all Telly's fault, she thought snorting.

Naya looked at her questioningly.

"So, anyone up for another round of horror?" Kevin interrupted as the credits rolled behind him. "We still got Friday the 13th."

"Oh no, not Jason." Heather quickly replied making Naya laugh. "It's not funny. I thought we established that."

"It isn't, it absolutely isn't." Naya grinned, leaving a quick peck on Heather's cheek.

"Well, I'm too drunk to drive. So Naya, you're sheltering me tonight." Telly warned her.

"I knew you would say that. I changed my sheets today just for you."

"What about me, bee?"

"We can't all fit in my bed but you can have the guest-room. I'll make it extra comfy for you."

Naya looked at the blonde excitedly. "Why don't you all stay? I'll kick the boys to the other room and we can stay in my bedroom."

"Wow, how quickly can one be dumped?" Telly joked.

"I'm sorry, Nay. I can't. He's waiting."

Heather's chest was burning as she answered, sadness staining her usual happy voice.

"Oh, sure. I forgot. He lives there now."

Naya disentangled from Heather so quickly that the cold hit the taller blonde like a punch.

"I wish I could." She added, grabbing Naya's hands before she completely left the couch.

"I know." Naya said with a sweet smile unsteadily fixed on her lips. "But you're not driving. You'll have to catch a cab. Or… Call him, I guess."

"I'll call him and tomorrow I'll come over and get my car."

"Ok." Naya stood up and held out her hand for Kevin. "Come on, bee. Let's find you some jammies while Heather makes her call."

"Woohoo! Can I have the astronauts one?"

Naya laughed easily, happiness back in her chocolate eyes. "They're yours."

Heather was left in the living-room with an observant Telly. He stood up, grabbing her purse on the way to the couch and setting it gently on her legs.

"It's ok, Heather. You have to go home. We all do at some point."

_Yeah, home._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: I would marry you too**

Her heart was breaking all over again. She was so sure she had taken care of it. Her silent hopes tucked away so neatly. It would not happen again – not like before.

But now, as she found herself reaching behind books, trying not to wake up Telly, who slept soundly in her bed, slowly retrieving her secret stash of cigarettes, she feared her plan had failed. Moving out of the bedroom and sneakily exiting to the terrace, she felt the cold humidity of the night hit her bones. With tear stained cheeks and shaking hands, she lit up a fag and inhaled sharply. She closed her eyes, letting the smoke dizzy her senses. Letting out a long puff through moist lips, she watched the night sky, barely visible behind scattered clouds.

Her chest felt heavy making it hard to take a breath. The cigarette shouldn't help, but it calmed her nerves. Slowly the feeling of loss in her sweltering lungs eased down. The wreckage left already familiar to her heart. That old persistent wound couldn't bleed anymore, though Naya knew now that the scar would never truly disappear.

"Damn you." Naya whispered to the loneliness surrounding her, new tears rolling down currently paled cheeks.

She felt weak and tired, sobbing against her will; the cigarette forgotten between her fingers.

"Damn you, Heather."

_They were sitting inside her Range Rover, safely parked on the sandy ground - a good distance away from the edge - as they watched the grayish ocean before them. Heather was mind-blowingly beautiful that day, making it hard for Naya to concentrate on the calming waves in front of her. The blonde had her hair tucked in a messy ponytail, soft blonde strands loose against her cheeks. She was dressed simply - a white tee under a navy blue jacket, form fitting jeans and black soldier boots. She looked so peaceful, her head resting on Naya's shoulder while studying the view._

"_Not to ruin the moment or anything, but I'm pretty sure I brought us to a lovers' spot."_

_Heather laughed lightly against her skin bringing goosebumps to Naya's arms._

"_No seriously, did you see all the cars on the way here? All couples. I tell you, we're definitely on a make out spot."_

"_I noticed."_

_Naya looked down to her friend, cracking up slightly. She was nervous. Why was she nervous? She decided it was best to keep talking._

"_Well, I swear I didn't bring you here to get some hot smooches. Although I'm getting a little jealous of all the action they're getting."_

"_If we were to smooch, I'm sure they would be the jealous ones. It would be so hot." Heather spoke jokingly._

"_Coulda, shoulda, woulda."_

_Heather shifted, facing Naya straight on._

"_Does that mean you want my smooches?"_

_Naya laughed loudly. It sounded so forced that she couldn't help but blush._

"_I'm just saying… They're lucky."_

_Heather's eyes were still fixed on her, but Naya didn't dare look back. After a short, yet apparently never-ending pause, the dancer jumped out of the car. Her eyes grinning as much as her smile._

"_Let's go for a swim!"_

"_What? Are you crazy?" Naya shouted back, but the blonde was already sprinting to the stairs leading to the beach._

"_Heather, please don't! You're gonna get sick! Ryan will be on my back the whole year if you turn up with pneumonia."_

"_Oh come on, drama queen! It isn't that cold."_

_A strong wave washed up by the beach, covering Heather to the knees. The girl turned to Naya with a goofy, spooked look._

"_Okay, maybe it is fucking cold."_

"_See, now let's go."_

_Naya couldn't help the smile on her face. That crazy girl was adorable. Heather moved closer to Naya before a teasing look covered her eyes. Naya turned serious immediately._

"_Step away from the ocean, Morris."_

_Heather laughed with a huge toothy grin before turning around and running toward the waves, jumping in without a care in the world. Naya cringed at the thought of the freezing water now enveloping the blonde's body. Heather came to the surface again, her t-shirt and panties soaking wet. Every limb on her body was shaking, but the happiness on her face could warm the entire continent._

"_It's cold!", she screamed laughingly._

"_You don't say, genius? Come back here!"_

"_Come and get me, then." Heather replied, as an inviting finger beckoned Naya._

"_No way. I'm not turning this day into a cheesy chick flick where I jump to save the girl and we end up swimming in that frozen water like two lovebirds. If you want hypothermia, you have it by yourself."_

_Heather shook her head chortling before diving again. Naya fisted her jean shorts frustratingly. She would go get Heather if the girl continued to act so stubborn. No point in pretending she wouldn't. Already nearing the water with a dreadful look on her eyes, she was surprised by the image of a slow rising Heather, adjusting her hair while she walked out of the ocean's wild winter waves, looking as relaxed as someone who just left a Jacuzzi. As soon as the wind touched her skin, she accelerated her steps until her arms closed around Naya in a breathtaking hug. Naya whined at the cold damping her shirt but couldn't stop her arms from shielding the taller girl._

"_I hate you, crazy ass woman."_

"_Hmmm…" Heather mumbled against her neck. "I love you too."_

_They drove back in comfortable silence. Naya turned up the heat, her car becoming a sauna on wheels. She could feel the sweat building on her forehead, but she wouldn't risk getting Heather sick. She glanced to her right, catching the blonde snoozing against the window, comfortingly wrapped in a blanket Naya usually kept on her trunk._

"_You'll be the death of me." She whispered adoringly._

_When they arrived at Naya's house, the brunette nudged the blonde softly._

"_Wake up, sleepyhead."_

"_Hmmm… No. I'm good."_

_Naya snorted amused, her hand finding the blonde's and caressing it gently._

"_Come on. Let's change you into some dry clothes."_

"_Pervert."_

"_I'll make you hot chocolate."_

_Heather opened her eyes slowly._

"_You swear?"_

"_I swear."_

_Heather brought her free hand around Naya's neck, pulling the brunette closer._

"_I would marry you, you know."_

_Naya giggled, feeling Heather's breath against her mouth._

"_Wake up, silly. You don't know what you're saying."_

"_But I do." Heather continued seriously, eyeing Naya's lips. "Today was perfect. You're the best company like in any day."_

_Heather gripped Naya's neck softly but with purpose._

"_And you take care of me. I feel so safe when I'm with you."_

_Naya chuckled, feeling the heat rise up to her cheeks._

"_I'm short but I'm tough." She met blue eyes, adding. "I'll protect you. Always."_

_Heather smiled widely, her eyes still half-closed and her breath warm from the quick nap. Naya felt the firm hand around her neck pull her closer and before she knew it, salty lips were on hers. Heather kissed her softer than anyone had before, but there was a firmness there that made Naya's heart jump dangerously, making her weak at the knees. Heather smiled against her mouth, leaving a peck on her lips before breaking contact._

"_You got your smooch, after all."_

_Naya smiled, a wave of heat washing over her. She couldn't remember ever feeling so happy._

"_You were right. They would definitely be jealous."_

_Heather laughed easily, resting her head against Naya's neck. Her hands travelled to black locks, keeping the brunette there for a while longer - just a while longer -, trapping that moment in the confines of Naya's jeep._

Naya pressed her knuckles against her eyes, drying her tears. She inhaled deeply, feeling the cold breeze invade her pulsing lungs. She threw the remainders of her cigarette to the trash can and walked back to the house. She washed her hands meticulously and sprayed perfume over her hair before entering the bedroom. Carefully she got in bed next to Telly, closing her heavy eye-lids, ready to let sleep take over.

"You know you can talk to me about it, if you need to."

Naya didn't move, smiling sadly at Telly's caring voice behind her.

"I know, baby."

Telly wrapped his arms around the petite brunette, gripping harder as he felt her shaking form crumble in his arms. She fell asleep moments later, leaving only Telly awake in the slumber of her room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: I could get used to this**

The persistent ring of her door-bell jolted her awake. She found herself uncomfortably lying on the couch, her neck hurt from sleeping in such position. Getting up and lazily moving to the entrance, she opened the door to find a cheerful Heather staring back at her.

"Hey! Did I wake you?"

The sight of the tall blonde made her cranky. No one should look that good so early in the day.

"Yes, but I'm glad you did. I fell asleep on the couch." Naya answered, adjusting her messy hair as she crawled back to the living-room.

"All night?"

"No, not all night." Naya muttered sleepily, returning to the same position on the couch despite her aching muscles.

"I know it's early, but Taylor left me here on his way to the gym. I could've just left, but I thought we could have breakfast together."

"Hmhmm…"

"Do you want to sleep some more?"

"What times is it?"

"8:17."

"Yeah, I do."

She still caught Heather's growing smile before drifting back to sleep.

Two hours later, Naya woke up again, this time in her own bed.

"Awesome. Now I dream about her too."

"It wasn't a dream."

Naya jumped back, her head shooting to the side finding the blonde there, watching her intently.

"God, woman! You scared me to death!"

"Good." The blonde answered with a cheeky grin. "Revenge was in order."

Naya rolled her eyes before frowning in confusion.

"Where's Telly?"

"He woke up when I brought you here. Then he freaked out about leaving his washing machine on, yesterday. Apparently it tends to leak."

Naya snorted, knowing exactly how much it leaked since she spent one entire afternoon helping him clean up.

"Wait, you brought me here?"

Heather nodded. "You were complaining about falling asleep on the couch and then went right back to it. So I brought you here. Thought you would be more comfortable."

"My knight in shining armor." Naya commented lazily, her eyes thankful.

Turning her body to her friend, she caught the scent of Heather's shampoo.

She would have to change the sheets again, knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep alone in that bed if it smelled like her. But for now, it felt good.

"Always."

Naya's heart swelled at the sight of those tender blues.

"I could get used to this…"

"What?" Heather asked softly.

_Waking up next to you._

"Having people carry me around. My legs still haven't recovered from Friday's practice."

"I know something that may help. Food!"

Naya cracked up.

"You haven't had your breakfast yet, have you?"

"Nope."

"You must be starving." She noted, looking at her alarm that displayed 10:00 am in bright orange tones.

"That I am."

"You could've woken me up."

"I didn't want to. You seemed tired."

Naya shook her head as she got up.

"Damn you."

"Why?" Heather asked, still lying in bed, a grin attached to her lips.

"For being so sweet, that's why."

Heather chuckled before standing up on Naya's bed and pulling the brunette closer.

"That's because I love you, little mix."

Naya hugged Heather's waist, her head resting against the blonde's stomach as the dancer brushed her hair lovingly. The feeling of toned abs against her ear joined the chills caused by Heather's ministrations bringing a nerve-wracking ache to her center.

Needing a distraction, Naya lifted Heather up from the bed, goofily walking backwards as if she couldn't take the weight. Heather shrilled, gripping Naya's shoulders tightly, as the laughter rocketed from her throat. The brunette stood steady, a proud smile on her lips before releasing Heather gently.

"Look at you! Someone's getting stronger."

"Short but tough, remember?"

As soon as she uttered the words, she regretted it. She didn't want those memories haunting her again. And she didn't want Heather's clueless expression asking her what she meant. Hurrying out of the bedroom, she almost didn't hear Heather's faint whisper.

"Yeah… I do."

"So… What do you want for breakfast?"

Naya asked, as they reached the kitchen. A light chill ran up her spine before facing Heather again.

"Do you want to go to that old coffee shop we used to go to?"

"You know I take a while to get ready." Naya confessed biting her lip. "Maybe we could just have something here. I can make scrambled eggs with bacon. And there's still lemonade from yesterday."

"That's perfect."

Heather opened Naya's fridge handing the brunette everything they needed. While Naya cooked, Heather set the table on the kitchen island, joining her excitedly as Naya turned off the oven. It felt domestic. Too domestic.

"It smells great!"

Naya laughed contently, holding the hot pan and moving the eggs to a platter.

"There's also toast if you want."

Naya said setting the large plate on the island. "I'll go get Kevin."

She knocked on the guest-room before entering, finding her friend adorably sleeping sideways with his feet poking out of the mattress. She lay down next to him kissing his cheek.

"Hey, little bee. Breakfast is ready."

"Nooo…" he whined, facing away from her.

"We've got scrambled eggs with bacon. Heather says it smells great."

"Sleep now. Eat later." He mumbled pushing away Naya's nudging hand.

"Ok then. But if we eat it all, don't complain."

As she got back to the kitchen she found Heather staring eagerly at her plate.

"Aww, you didn't need to wait."

"Go on, now. Sit!" Heather rushed her, making Naya laugh.

"Is it good?" She asked, giggling at Heather who tried to speak around a mouthful of eggs.

"Amazing as always."

"I could teach you, you know. It's pretty easy."

"I'm not a great cook."

"You're a lazy student."

"You can't say that." Heather countered slapping Naya's hand lightly. "You never taught me."

"You won't let me. You just love to watch."

"Won't deny that." Heather replied with a mischievous look. "And if I knew how to cook, what excuse would I have to come over all the time?"

"You don't need excuses. Your annoying ass is always welcome." Naya said with a genuine smile.

She noticed that the blonde looked down sadly. Before she could ask why, the look was gone.

"My ass is great. And I'm pretty sure it doesn't annoy you."

She smirked, rolling her eyes. _Can't deny that either._

"Besides, there are many things I would rather do with you instead of learning how to cook."

"Like what?" Naya dared, never one to run from their open flirting.

Heather opened her mouth to answer, when a mumbling Kevin entered the kitchen scratching his head.

"Morning."

"Good morning, sunshine!" Naya joked with a beaming smile.

Kevin sat down next to Heather, letting his head rest on her shoulder.

"You said scrambled eggs, right?"

Both girls laughed.

"I did. I'll get you plate."

Kevin nodded, turning to Heather with a frown.

"Wait, what are you doing here so early?"

"I left my car here, remember?"

"Don't you enjoy sleeping?"

Naya cracked up at her friend, setting the plate in from of him as he filled his glass with lemonade.

"She's been here since 8!"

"Woah..."

"I couldn't sleep." Heather replied distractedly.

"Boyfriend keeping you up all night, hum?" Kevin joked.

Heather didn't answer. Naya would have to thank the Gods later for that one.

* * *

><p>"So Heather, fess up. How's married life?"<p>

Naya shivered at the words, gripping the pillow in her lap until her knuckles turned white. Kevin really needed to stop being so nosy. Looking at Heather with an unmoving fake smile on her lips, she watched as the blonde hesitated.

"It's fine."

"Oh no, don't 'it's fine' me. I want the juicy details." Kevin probed with his usual innocent and playful look.

"It's weird having him around all the time." Heather faced Naya who gulped nervously, suddenly self-conscious of her demeanor under the blonde's gaze. "I don't have time to miss him when he's living under the same roof."

Kevin made a joke that went unnoticed by both girls. Seeing Heather's awaiting eyes on her, Naya felt the need to comment, but words beyond "I don't want to hear about it" seemed to escape her.

"That's perfectly normal." Kevin eventually said. "You lived with Ashley for almost three years. You need time to adjust. After a while you won't be able to live without him."

"I guess."

When Naya didn't say anything, Heather looked back at Kevin and continued more firmly.

"You're probably right. I mean, I love him. It will be fine."

Naya was relieved she didn't have blue eyes on her anymore. She wouldn't want the girl to watch as her face fell. Naya breathed in deeply, swallowing hard to prevent unwanted tears from staining her weary brown eyes.

"Awww, the lovebirds! You know it's true love when you can handle a long-distance relationship."

Heather cracked a smile.

"What about you, any updates?"

Kevin let his head fall.

"Zero-zilch-nada. It's that awful."

"You'll find someone great, bee. I just know it." Naya finally jumped in.

"Can't we just get married, Nay? We would be the perfect couple."

Before Naya could respond, she felt herself being scooped into Heather's arms.

"No way! She's mine."

Naya broke free of Heather's embrace a little too quickly, leaving Heather with - infuriatingly cute - rejected puppy eyes.

"You can't have them all." Kevin complained grabbing Naya's hand and pulling her out of the couch. "You have your soul mate. Don't be greedy, now."

Heather eyed Naya curiously, ignoring Kevin's rant.

"It's ok, bee. I would choose you, anyway." Naya complied, joining him on the spot near the fireplace.

Looking back at the blonde, she couldn't help but snigger at the other girl's ill-disguised jealousy. Heather could be a bit possessive sometimes. Naya hated that she kind of loved it.

"Fine." Heather spat indignantly with mocked offense. "Go get married. Be each other's beards for all I care."

"Ouch! Jealous much?"

"Not at all." Heather said, directing it at Naya.

A while later Kevin went to get a shower. He needed to get ready before lunch since he had plans with his highschool crew. By then, Naya was back on the couch, her head on Heather's lap while they watched TV.

As Heather's hands travelled to her neck, fingers tracing her collarbone, Naya wondered why she could never keep herself physically distant from the dancer. At least she wouldn't have to endure the frustration that these moments brought her. Even though her expression was as nonchalant as ever, her body reacted to Heather's touch. Her breathing was unsteady, against failed attempts to stabilize it; her skin grew hot under those delicate fingers, and there was that damn heat that seemed to travel lower by the second.

Naya finally looked up at the blonde, as if that would stop the boiling frenzy inside her. Heather met her gaze, smiling sweetly.

"What?" She asked in a soft, almost velvety tone.

Naya didn't have an answer so she just shrugged.

"You're so adorable sometimes." Heather said - filling the silence - as her hands framed Naya's cheeks.

"Sometimes?"

Heather nodded slowly.

"Only sometimes?" Naya repeated with purpose, a playful smile on her lips.

"Not so adorable when you accept marriage proposals from other people."

Naya cocked an eyebrow.

"Am I supposed to wait for yours indefinitely?"

It was a joke. She didn't mean to make it sound like a question. She held her breath knowing a new stab to the chest was coming.

"No." The blonde said simply, moving down and kissing her forehead. "You shouldn't."

And there it was, that sinking feeling threatening to drown Naya. She thought of excuses to leave the room for a while. She needed to slap herself out of it. The girl had a boyfriend for a long time now. Naya was used to it. She had moved past the tension behind their touchy-feely ways, behind the stares and the secret smiles. She had gotten rid of it. She was content with their relationship as it was. Right? The fact that they were living together shouldn't bring all those feelings back. It should bury them for good.

"But would you?"

Heather's somewhat tense, yet playful tone brought her back to their conversation. Naya smiled, her eyes contemplating Heather's twitching leg.

"Marry you or wait indefinitely?"

Heather shifted under her, before pulling her by the waist until Naya's back was against the dancer's torso. She felt trapped between her arms, though she couldn't help gripping her harder in return.

"Marry me, you goof."

Naya smiled - a smile that held more sorrow than anything else.

"How Brittana are you, right now?"

Kevin's voice hit them like a cold splash. They turned to the door where he stood, fresh from the shower, camera in hand.

"This picture is brilliant. Gonna tweet it and make the fans go maaaad!"

"No!" Both girls exclaimed.

Heather's phone rang so Naya took the opportunity to break free of the girl's intense hug. The blonde moved to her bag wavering slightly before taking the call.

"Hey babe."

Naya vomited a little in her mouth, turning her grimace into a full blown smile as soon as she felt Kevin's eyes on her. _Whoops._

"Oh, already? Ok… Yeah, yeah. I'll be home soon."

Heather hang up the phone, turning to her friends.

"I need to go. We're having lunch with the basketball guys."

"I'm leaving too." Kevin announced twirling his car keys on his index finger. "Want to join us for lunch Nay-nay? You still have an hour."

"Thanks, Kevs. I'm just gonna stay home and relax a bit. And there are a whole lot of dishes to wash from yesterday. I'll be busy."

"We should've helped. I can come back later." Heather offered, her eyes almost pleading.

"No, no. I invited you guys, I'll do the dishes. It's relaxing, actually."

It really wasn't, but Naya couldn't take any more Heather that day. She needed time and space to clear her head. Heather nodded and joined Kevin on his way to the door. Naya waved her friends goodbye by the porch. Her eyes meeting Heather's before she stepped back and closed the door completely.

_Time to start over._

She breathed in wearily.

_First step: change the sheets._

* * *

><p>She met Megan that evening in a little restaurant just around the corner of her friend's house. They ordered sushi and a bottle of white wine, enjoying the coziness of the dim lit saloon. By the end of their meal, Naya looked out at the window watching as street walkers passed by.<p>

"I need a date."

Megan laughed against her glass, nodding vehemently.

"You and I, both."

"No. Really, I need a date. Like urgently."

Megan's brow creased, inspecting her friend's face attentively.

"Okay… Is something up?"

Naya exhaled deeply.

"I need to get out of my head, let's just put it like that."

"Oooh…" Megan took another sip of her wine, finishing her glass. "Is that mystery love of yours bothering your thoughts again?"

Naya eyed her sadly.

"Sort of."

Megan nodded silently, knowing not to push.

"I'm thinking of accepting Nate's offer and have that dinner he's been bugging me about."

"Nate? My Nate? I didn't know you guys still talked." The girl commented around a mocking smirk.

"On and off."

"He's a good guy. And he's funny. All good things in my book." Megan encouraged.

"I guess…"

"You're so enthusiastic about it." The blonde noted sarcastically.

"Well, he's a little too eager sometimes."

"True…"

"But I'll just give it a try. One date couldn't hurt."

"I agree. And you're so good and dumping them nicely afterwards. It's going to be fine."

Naya chuckled, holding her glass up as Megan re-filled her own.

"To new dates."

"To new dates!" They toasted. "Now all you need is to find a good guy for me too."

"I'll check my list." Naya promised with a wink.

Yes, she was going to start dating. She would try even if it killed her. Anything would be better than this slow demise at the expense of Heather. She wanted her friend to be happy and she wanted to feel happy for her without her heart breaking. It was going to take some effort, but she was willing to try.

**Author's note: I hope this doesn't feel too much like a filler chapter. What I wanted was sort of a conclusion to Naya's point of view - for you guys to get a glimpse of how she felt and her decision, before moving to the next part of the story. (Don't worry, there's lots of Heya) I hope I was able to do that with these last two chapters. More importantly, I wanted to thank you all for reading! The favorite and story alerts I've gotten were incredibly motivating. And a big thank-you hug for those who reviewed. I really appreciate it. Hope you enjoyed the update. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Don't go yet**

She spotted Naya outside her trailer talking to Telly and Lea. And, as it had always been with them, it took the brunette a mere second before brown met blue. Heather smiled cheerfully, her heart already pulsing faster with giddiness.

"Heather Morris, get your ass over here," Lea's voice echoed down the lot - that Broadway bone of hers kicking in.

"We're planning a party."

Heather reached them in quick steps, her arm interlacing with Naya's instantly. The brunette seemed hesitant, but before Heather could ask, Lea was grabbing her chin and turning her head to hers.

"My place, this Friday. We need a break so I'm throwing a party. Boyfriends are allowed."

"You know what's better than a boyfriend, though?" Telly prompted. "Hot male dancers."

Naya cracked up, leaning against him, her arm smoothly freeing itself from Heather's grasp. The blonde missed the warmth, but was too transfixed on that crunchy smile to complain.

"That's also an option," Lea agreed. "One demand: bring alcohol."

"Yes madam!" Heather complied, winking at Telly. "And male dancers it is."

"I need to go to make-up, so they'll fill you in on the rest of the details. See you later, gleeks!"

Lea left in a hurry, catching up to Dianna who waved at them from a distance.

Heather shouted a loud "hey" at their blonde friend, before turning to the other two. She noticed that Naya was already entering her trailer with Telly joined at the hip, causing an involuntary whine to come out from her lips. The shorter girl looked back amused.

"Are you hiding a baby under that hoodie?"

"I don't even get a 'good morning' before you snuck up to your trailer?" Heather answered with a frown.

Telly rolled his eyes at them, remaining silent. Naya eyed him before stepping down the stairs and enveloping her in a hug.

"Stop being such a whine baby." She whispered.

"I need my daily Naya fix." The blonde replied, gripping tighter.

"Girls, enough with the love fest. I've got places to be."

"Then go." Heather said with a cheeky smile.

"Ok, if Naya doesn't want my help anymore."

"No, wait! I do!"

The brunette quickly let go of Heather and joined him again on the stairs.

"Help for what?" The blonde asked, standing at the bottom of the steps.

Naya hesitated and faced Telly who simply shrugged.

"We're picking a smoking outfit for her date."

With that he opened the door and they both walked in. Heather stood frozen on the same spot for a minute, before she snapped back and started moving. The silence in her head was so strong it seemed like it drowned everything else. But she would rather have a deafening silence than let the sinking feeling in her chest get to her head.

She opened her trailer door and changed to her cheerleading outfit. With her ipod on, and a book under her arm, she went to the make-up trailer without a single thought reaching through.

* * *

><p>They spent the morning shooting choir-room scenes. Heather sat next to Harry and Jenna most of the time. She wasn't supposed to sit with Santana on that particular scene and, although she didn't really know why, she appreciated it. Dianna was behind her and kept playing with her ponytail. They shared some laughs and it got Heather on the perfect mood right before lunch. They were a little behind on schedule so half an hour later most of the cast was back to work. Heather didn't have any scenes just yet, so she sat on the grass outside the cafeteria, along with Jenna and Dianna. The sun wasn't as warm as it had been the week before, but the cool breeze made her sleepy. It was quiet and comfortable there, so they spent their free hours chatting and drinking coffee on the grass. They gossiped. The girls would throw questions about Taylor every chance they got, so Heather decided to nestle her head on Dianna's lap and doze off. She felt like she needed alone time, but wasn't so keen on being by herself today. A quick nap with her friends seemed the best way to fix her dilemma.<p>

About three hours later they went to the tin shed and started rehearsal. Everyone was back. As soon as the music played, Heather's body dove into the rhythm forgetting the silent whispers on the back of her head. They practiced for almost two hours and were given another half an hour break before starting to film the actual dance sequence.

They were sweating like pigs, falling flat on the rubber mattresses for a quick recovery. The boiling tin shed was barely breathable as the group scattered on the floor, stretching their legs and chugging down water.

Heather joined Naya, who sat next to a big blue bag, browsing through it.

"I'm beat." Naya confessed with a puff, her head almost entering the bag in search for her phone.

"Me too. But save some energy for tonight. Hannah and the rest of the girls invited us for dinner."

"Tonight?" Naya repeated, abandoning her search. "I can't tonight."

Heather was so disappointed that didn't even registered Naya's guilty expression. Not right away.

"The date." She murmured as her mind collected the pieces.

Naya nodded with a smile that was too small to be real.

"I really wanted you to come," Heather confessed sadly. "You haven't been to one of these in a while. They miss your drunken ramblings."

They did. And so did her.

"Next time."

Naya stated simply before shuffling her bag again.

Heather was staring at her intently. Normally she would ask her friends all about their dates and clap excitedly at their romantic plans. But with Naya it was always tricky to get into that mood. She wasn't even sure if she ever had before. Did that make her a bad friend?

"So, who is he? Or she…" She trailed off.

Honestly, she didn't know which would hurt most. Not that it should hurt. It shouldn't. And it didn't.

"Nate. You remember him, from Megan's party?"

"I don't."

Naya looked at her for a second and in that second something flashed in brown eyes. But Heather wasn't able to read it.

"Is he a good guy?"

"I don't know. Let's hope so." Naya was giggling slightly.

She seemed happy. Not ecstatic happy, but content, so Heather smiled - this time genuinely. Or at least she thought she was smiling, because when Telly joined them the first thing he asked was, "Are you okay?"

"S-sure. Why?"

She touched her face suddenly a little self-conscious.

"You're brooding."

"I'm not brooding," Heather let out a rough laugh, it made her blush. What the hell was that?

"I'm smiling."

Naya smiled weakly at her, grabbing her hand and gripping it. Again, Heather didn't know what that meant but, for some reason, it made her agitated.

"So, did you pick out the outfit already?" She asked, more to make conversation than any other reason, since Telly's eyes kept travelling between them.

"Sort of." She mumbled.

And then there was silence.

Awkward. That's how it felt now. They weren't really talking, they weren't looking at each other and their hands slowly drifted apart. Awkward was a strange feeling between them.

"So…" she started a little high-pitched. "You mentioned hot dancers. I'm going out with the girls tonight. Wanna join, since Naya isn't coming?"

"Thank you for such a warm invitation," Telly joked. "I can't tonight. I'm having dinner with the folks and tomorrow we have an early call. But why don't you take your new roommate? Isn't he your official date to this kind of thing, now?"

Heather didn't really reply since Brad was already calling them to shoot the scene.

Taylor was her official everything now. She needed a little break from that, although that wasn't something she was willing to share for now.

* * *

><p>She met her friends outside a little Italian Restaurant called "Ricordare". It hadn't been that long since they last hung out, but their hugs and the laughter bubbling in their throats seemed to indicate otherwise.<p>

They were drinking their second bottle of red Lambrusco, and Heather could already feel the heat in her cheeks from the alcohol burning her stomach. She ate a salad because, frankly, her appetite was low since that morning.

"OH MY GOD!" Hannah exclaimed louder than she should have, calling attention to their table.

She tugged Heather's shirt impatiently before continuing.

"How's it been with Taylor? I totally forgot he had moved in. He could have joined us."

Heather smiled, shaking her head no.

"I already spend every hour with him. I don't want to be one of those girls who can never be without her boyfriend."

"Let's cheer to that!" Brittany exclaimed raising her glass.

She was never Taylor's biggest fan.

"You girls and your ungratefulness!" Hannah spat indignantly, making everyone laugh. "It's good to have someone you love waiting for you at home."

"And you don't actually spend every hour with him. You're at work for so long." Pete commented with a sad frown. "That must be hard for him during this transition."

"He's not a baby. He can take care of himself." Brittany quickly intervened.

"Are you happy with the new living arrangements?" Dylan asked with a smirk that reminded her of Santana Lopez.

"Yeah. I do miss Ashley, though."

"Aww…" Hanna pulled Heather by the arm for a side hug. "Don't worry. I'm sure she'll be around all the time, anyway. Isn't she living like next door?"

Heather laughed softly.

"Not next door, but near."

"You exchanged a wife for a husband. Fair deal." Dylan noted raising his glass.

"The best!" Pete added "Taylor is a fox. No offense to Ashley but she's got nothing on him."

"Ashley is hot." Heather firmly replied. "I lost a hot roommate."

"All your friends are hot, just look at us!" Brittany joked and everyone cheered.

"What about Naya?" Hannah remembered.

"What about her?"

Why was she panicking? She cleared her throat before tuning in to Hannah's words.

"Why didn't she come?"

"I told you she couldn't make it."

"But why?"

"You're so nosy, Hannah." Pete snorted, taking a bite of his calzone.

"Naya is my friend too! I'm allowed to know why she dumped us."

"She had a date." Heather stated numbly.

"What? With whom?" Hannah asked cheerfully, almost making Heather roll her eyes.

"Heather is not amused." Dylan mumbled, earning a glare from the blonde.

"I just don't think she has great taste in men."

"Look who's talking." Brittany joked with a mischievous grin.

"You know him, already? Who is he?" Hannah continued ignoring everything else.

"His name is Nate, I think."

"Wait, you don't know him?" Hannah was frowning with the most confused look on her face.

"I don't remember him. But apparently I do know him."

"He made quite the impression," Dylan joked. "So why don't you like him?"

Heather opened her mouth to answer but honestly, she didn't know why. She was very protective of Naya. The girl was amazing, but also incredibly gorgeous, and it seemed like sometimes that second side of her was all guys cared about. It maddened Heather. It maddened her that anyone would have the chance to be with Naya and not fall in love with everything about her. Were they blind? She had ranted about it once, in front of the brunette, who ended up blushing like Heather had never seen her blush before. It was cute. She felt a smile growing on her lips but she stopped it, quickly taking a sip of her wine.

"Yes…" Dylan pressed on, still waiting.

"Guys like Naya because she's hot."

"Well, they aren't wrong."

"I know, D; but she's a lot more than that and they're complete idiots if they can't see it."

She was smiling as she said it, it wasn't even one of her angry rants, but she still felt eyes on her. Those looks were way too heavy for her liking. She ignored them, resting her glass on the side before crossing her arms over the table and leaning forward.

"Moving on. Tell me about your new gig, Ms Parks!"

By the end of their dinner they were all slightly drunk and their bodies were begging for a dance off. Pete had to be up early in the morning for a photo shoot, so they said their goodbyes before deciding where to go next. It didn't take long for them to decide, since they knew where they would end up anyway: "Mashing", the best cocktail bar for people who didn't like to spend a lot of money and would rather dance than talk.

They decided to walk so it took them an extra half an hour to get there. The bar was packed. When they entered she could immediately smell the sweat of the bodies surrounding her mixed with the intense strawberry freshener that always filled the place. There were hints of smoke coming from the booths at the end of the bar, near the large arched windows.

She loved that place. It was lively and yet cozy. No one seemed to mind that it was a dim lit, and somehow romantic, bar. People danced in the open space at her right and cheered whenever a popular song started playing. It was a chaotic place, but still warm.

"What are you having?" Dylan asked her in his way to the bar.

"Piña Colada!" She replied excitedly. She hadn't had that in a while.

He made a disgusted face but nodded before leaving to get their order. Hannah was already pulling her by the elbow to the corner where everyone was dancing to King of Leon's "Sex on Fire". Heather chuckled loudly, starting a pretty intense made up choreography with her friends. She was having a blast. It felt good to be with her friends like this. She felt free and without a worry in the world.

Dylan joined them later, holding two glasses in one hand and one between his waist and arm, while holding a fourth drink in his left hand. They took the drinks from him quickly as he was already slipping alcohol from every corner. Heather took a huge swig, letting the sweet taste fill her mouth before her tongue darted out and cleaned the drops from her lips.

"You're on a roll today!" Brittany noted, pinching her wrist. "We're so gonna do shots after this!"

"Hell yeah!" Heather nearly shouted.

They finished their drinks quickly. If you went out with the dancers one thing was certain, you could never stand still for too long. They were calling attention to themselves with their expert, yet goofy, dance moves. Heather swirled around Hannah throwing herself to Dylan dramatically, making her friends laugh. She felt a little dizzy after that. And the strawberry aroma was starting to make her nauseous.

"I'm gonna call Taylor to say goodnight." She announced, needing to get some fresh air.

Her friends made smooching sounds as she walked away and gave them the finger.

Outside she breathed in deeply, lazily closing her eyes before walking along the road as she dialed the number. She waited for him to pick up, knowing the unenthusiastic sleepy response she was about to get. He wasn't a great chat partner through phone, but he always insisted that she call at least once when she when out without him. It was cute that he cared even if he didn't feel like talking on the phone. He picked up and they talked for a bit. She said she probably wouldn't be home for another three hours and then listened as he talked about the game he was just watching. He always loved to do that. Even if he had done nothing all day, he would always find something to tell her about at the end of the day. She used to love that, but now that they lived together it seemed unnecessary.

She wandered through the street of the bar, reaching the arched windows. She could see her friends moving to the bar stools and made a note to memorize where they were. As her eyes darted across the booths, her heart froze.

A guy with light brown hair and cold grey eyes was talking animatedly to a girl Heather would recognize even with her eyes closed. Naya was smiling that crunchy smile she loved so much. She had a cigarette between her fingers and her thumb was playing with the borders of her glass. Had she started smoking again?

Heather wasn't breathing. She walked back to the entrance in a flash, glad that Taylor had finished his story and was now ready to hang up.

She walked back to the bar and saw Dylan wave at her. She waved back and signaled him to wait a second. With a will of their own, her legs moved across the bar into the booth where Naya was sitting. Before she reached them, the brunette glanced her way, her eyes widening greatly, turning her smile into an awkward open mouthed, lopsided grin that was weirdly goofy and yet adorable.

"Well, hello." Heather greeted smiling warmly at the boy in front of her friend. "You must be Nate."

"Hi, Heather!" He stood up and kissed her cheek. "Don't you remember me, from Megan's party?"

"I do." She wasn't lying, although she had only now remembered that she had met him briefly.

He arrived late that day and she left early. But she didn't miss the drool dripping from his mouth as Megan introduced him to Naya. Of course she remembered.

"What are you doing here?" Naya's voice had a hint of panic that didn't match her soothe smile.

It made Heather cock an eyebrow at her as she crossed her arms over her chest a little defensively.

"Don't you remember the dinner we had today and that you skipped? We usually come here after."

Naya blushed profusely, laughing forcedly towards Nate that smirked in an annoying smug way.

"This is my first time here. Nate suggested it."

"Nice choice." Heather stated plainly, still watching the girl.

Naya was wearing a fitting grey dress and red stilettos. It was simple, but the way it shaped every inch of her body made it as tantalizing as if she was wearing black lingerie. It was obvious to Heather that her intention was to floor him and she was sure she had succeeded. But while it looked like Naya looked effortlessly good, Heather could tell he was trying too hard. He was wearing a pressed black shirt and jeans. They had that fake worn out look, but were obviously new. And his shoes were way too shiny and serious, contrasting weirdly with the rest of his clothes. Also, he probably had jumped in a pool of cologne earlier that day. They had had dinner already and his perfume was as intense as if he had just put it on.

"I'll go say hi in a second."

Naya interrupted her thoughts and only then Heather noticed that she was looking down at him.

"Okay. See you later."

She put on her smile again, and waved goodbye to them before joining her friends at the bar.

"Is that Naya?" Hannah asked excitedly "Is that her date?"

"No, it's the waiter." Heather rolled her eyes. "Of course that's her date."

"He's hot!" Hannah kept going unfazed by Heather's sarcasm.

"You think?"

"Definitely." Brittany responded before Hannah could.

"He's trying too hard." Dylan noted, stealing a glance at the couple while he took a sip of his new drink.

Heather grinned and nodded.

"I wish a guy tried too hard for me too," Hannah said with a sigh. "Beats the alternative."

Heather shrugged and ordered a new drink.

"Let's leave them alone. I don't want to ruin their sweet date."

Heather's voice was dipped in sarcasm again, making Dylan snort loudly at her.

She didn't know how long had passed when Naya joined them at the bar. Heather was drinking much faster now, so her vision was blurred and she couldn't tell what had happened two seconds ago from what had happened one hour before.

"Hey guys!" Naya greeted them happily.

The girls threw themselves at Naya in quick hugs before smothering her with questions. Dylan lay back in his stool, sipping his drink with a smirk. His eyes kept going from Naya to Heather, but she barely noticed since she was staring intently at the brunette.

God, she looked gorgeous. Now that Heather could actually see her legs, she noticed how the dress ended high above her knees. It reminded her of Santana's barely-there dresses, although this wasn't as tight as those usually were.

Her blurry vision scanned Naya's body until she rested her eyes on her friend's face. Naya was watching her too.

"And that's basically it."

Heather was happy she didn't actually catch the story. It made her feel guilty, but she really couldn't care less about her date with shiny shoes.

"What did you say?" Naya asked her around an ill-concealed grin. "Shiny shoes?" Naya looked back at her booth. Nate waved at Heather's friends with a smile.

"His shoes aren't that shiny." Naya concluded.

Heather gulped. She didn't notice she had spoken out loud.

"They kinda are." Dylan commented, his eyes on Heather.

"Should I introduce you?"

"No, Nay!" Brittany immediately answered the brunette's question, turning her around by the shoulders and slightly pushing her forward. "Go have fun with your hot date. But you owe us dinner to tell us all about it."

Heather scoffed looking at her now empty glass. She didn't think anyone noticed it, but when she looked up Dylan lifted an eyebrow at her before laughing whole heartedly.

"What are you laughing at?" Hannah asked.

"He's drunk." Heather quickly responded before looking back at Naya's booth.

Nate was still alone.

_She probably went to the bathroom._

Before she could stop it she heard herself announce she needed to pee, and then her legs were moving fast towards the restroom.

She slid open the heavy door – probably heavier to her than someone who had drank less than five shots – and looked around. One of the stalls was occupied. She waited, looking at herself in the mirror. She looked good. Messy, but good. She had tried to put her hair up in a bun, but strands kept loosening as she danced. She was too lazy to fix it. Her make-up was also slightly smeared, but she was afraid that trying to do anything about it would do more harm than good.

She heard the stall open.

"Oh…"

Heather turned in an exaggerated twirl becoming face to face with Naya. The girl laughed, her eyes travelling across the dancer's body before settling on her face.

"You look drunk."

"I am drunk." Heather shrugged, leaning back to the counter.

Naya walked closer, standing by her left washing her hands. She bended sideways to grab a paper towel and caught Heather's drifting eyes running over her body.

"Do you like my dress?"

Her voice was sultry and playful, and it seemed to catch both of them by surprise.

"Very much."

Heather said honestly, looking up and down once more before facing her. "Do you like Nate?"

Naya blinked fast. Heather had caught her off guard. She shrugged and inched closer to Heather to throw the paper towel away. The blonde held her breath as Naya's hair brushed her face lightly, before stepping back. They were still close, but not as much.

"It's going well so far."

"Good." She was lying. She wished she wasn't, but she was.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Naya's voice was warm. She cocked her head to the side narrowing her eyes as if inspecting her friend. Heather didn't want that so she stepped closer. As expected, Naya snapped her head back and discreetly took a step back. It made Heather smile.

She might be drunk but her every sense was now fixed on Naya. She could tell everything. The way the brunette's chest heaved faster and higher when she got closer. The way her hands fidgeted. The way her smile turned nervous. Heather liked it. She liked noticing this. Even if she had no explanation as to why they acted like that around each other. It wasn't like they weren't used to being close.

"I wish you had come with us."

Naya pressed her lips into a thin line, a smile gracing her eyes.

"I know. And next time I will. But we got to see each other after all. So you don't get to miss me."

Heather nodded and stepped closer again. When Naya tried to inch apart, her back hit the wall. She gasped. She looked nervous again. Her hands quickly flew to Heather's hips, keeping their bodies slightly separated.

"I should go. He's waiting."

"You're running away from me." Heather whispered with a sly grin, pressing her body weight against Naya's hands.

The brunette moved her arms to the blonde's shoulders to try and keep her steady. She didn't seem so agitated now, because she was smiling knowingly when she spoke.

"You really are drunk."

"That doesn't change a thing."

Heather stood, moving away from Naya but not before grabbing her waist and pulling her from the wall.

"What are you doing with a dress this short?"

Heather twirled Naya in her arms. The brunette chuckled and held onto Heather's shoulders again.

"You don't want Shiny Shoes to become Wet Pants, do you?"

Naya laughed loudly.

"That was the lamest joke I ever heard."

Heather was smiling, but still looking at Naya's legs.

"It isn't a joke."

Her fingers grazed the skin just under the hem of the dress. Naya gasped a little louder this time, and gripped Heather's shoulders. Heather's gaze moved slowly up her body, stopping at her chest before settling in her eyes. She had a lazy smile fixed on her lips.

"Did you just gasp?"

"No." Naya answered quickly, she wasn't even smiling.

That made Heather grin harder, letting her fingers press against the brunette's leg pulling the dress up a little.

"You sure?"

Naya widened her eyes, before letting out a mix of a snort and a whimper. She grabbed Heather's hands and interlaced their fingers.

"Someone's flirty tonight."

"You look hot." Heather stated honestly.

"I can tell you think so."

Their eyes were locked on each other now. Heather started smiling; she could feel her lips turn upwards. Naya reflected her actions, cracking up softly. The sound filled the empty bathroom and made Heather sigh. She missed this. The silent moments with her best friend, the way her heart would fill with unexplainable warmth. Naya was good for her. She made every day better. She wished she could tell her that without making things awkward. She wasn't sure why she feared they might.

"I really like you."

She heard herself say. Her cheeks tinged pink and she was happy for the dim lighting covering her blush.

"I like you too." Naya whispered back.

Her brown eyes were so open, so honest. Heather knew she was frowning now. She knew it because she could feel her face change. She wanted to say something, but she wasn't sure what.

"I really need to go."

_No._

"No. Wait." Heather was gripping her wrists now. Her buzzed mind throbbed as she tried to hold onto her dizzying thoughts. "Don't go yet."

Naya smiled one of those sad smiles.

"Don't smile like that."

"Like what?" Naya asked, her voice cracking a little.

"Like you're going to do the opposite of what I asked."

The girl chuckled; holding Heather's wrists just like the blonde was holding hers.

"You love to ruin my dates, don't you?"

She was joking, Heather knew that, but her words sounded so heavy and drained. It made her breathing slow down to a scary, unfulfilling rhythm.

"Do I do that?"

Her eyes were big and questioning and Naya seemed lost in them.

"Sometimes."

"Why do I ruin them?"

"Because you won't let go." She answered, looking downwards at their hands. "And I can't leave when you're looking at me like that; but I should. And you should be a good friend and let me leave."

There it was again, that heaviness. Heather nodded gently, but didn't actually release her. She gripped tighter the thin wrists that seemed so fragile under her grasp.

"I'm sorry."

She whispered, not really sure if she was apologizing for this specific moment or something else. Pulling the girl into her arms for a hug, she nestled her face on the crook of her neck, now noticing that Naya must have been wearing gigantic heels, since they were about the same height right now. She felt arms wrapping around her torso tightly and it gave her a drowning cold feeling that swelled her chest, making it ache like she was freezing inside. She let go, trying to get rid of that feeling. But her movements were slower after all the drinking, so as Naya's hair brushed her cheek, she whispered against her face.

"I never like the guys you date."

Naya's eyes met her own, their faces barely apart.

"I know."

There was a warm smile in her lips. And with that she stepped backwards and shrugged lightly.

"I'll see you later."

Heather felt like her face was frozen. She didn't respond or nodded, she just watched as Naya left the bathroom and the door closed behind her, trapping Heather in the small space. She looked around, she could tell her eyes were watering and before she knew it the tears were cascading down her face. She didn't make a sound. She walked to the counter and wiped the tears even as they kept falling. And then she just stopped. She looked at herself in the mirror and saw the most miserable looking girl facing back at her.

_What's happening?_

She waited until the ache felt lighter, until her legs grew stronger and her hands stopped shaking. She wiped away the traces of tears with her fingers, and with a long breath she left the bathroom and walked back to the bar. She didn't look to the booth, not once.

Her friends were already beyond drunk and hadn't even notice the amount of time she had been gone. She faked a few laughs and convinced her body to dance a little more, impatiently waiting for someone to suggest they go home. When Dylan did, relief flooded her. She nodded her approval, immediately grabbing her coat and purse to leave.

"Should we say bye to Naya?" Brittany said wobbling backwards.

"I don't think now is a good time." Hannah said around a huge smirk.

Heather knew she shouldn't, but she still looked back. Her eyes caught a glimpse of brown hair held by a pair of rough hands as their clasped mouths moved against each other. She looked away as if it burned.

"Let's just go." She mumbled and walked out of the bar with her friends slowly following.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Heat**

_They were sitting outside their usual cafe on a blazing afternoon. Naya was wearing a loose white tank top and jean shorts with strappy sandals, but it still didn't keep her neck from sweating under the heated breeze. Heather noticed the soft drips of sweat following the path of her collarbone, slowly descending to the valley between her breasts. It made her adjust in her seat, uncomfortable with the distraction that kept pulling her from their easy chat. Her eyes darted lower and, even as they giddily talked and drank their frappuccinos, she couldn't help but watch the white shirt becoming slightly see-through. Naya seemed to notice it too, because there was a smirk permanently attached to her face._

_Heather felt her ears burn knowing her blatant stares weren't oblivious to the brunette, so she leaned back, forcing her eyes closed, using the cold drink to freshen up her own neck._

"_It's ridiculously hot. We should go swimming."_

"_We need to be back to work in 15 minutes." Naya unnecessarily stated, with a hint of amusement in her voice._

"_Let's skip work. We can say we passed out. No one can blame us if we passed out."_

_A smile burst in her lips as she listened to her friend's husky laughter._

"_We fainted at the same time?"_

"_Sure. We were taking a stride on our break and then we both felt light-headed and passed out on a park bench."_

"_I have a feeling they won't buy that."_

"_They can always say Brittany and Santana were missing because they got locked in the janitor's closet." She added before opening her eyes to catch brown ones fixed on her lips._

_Heather smiled harder before their gazes met._

"_It would make sense. Those two are probably at it like bunnies all the time." Naya agreed._

_Playful brown eyes travelled the expanse of Heather's face and she had to breathe in harder to keep herself from suffocating, but the dense warm air only worsened the burning in her chest._

"_Santana can't resist Brittany." She stated mockingly._

_Naya cocked an eyebrow at her, crossing her arms over the table._

"_I'm pretty sure it goes both ways."_

"_Oh yeah, they definitely go both ways," Heather joked, mimicking Naya's position, and setting her drink in the small space between their arms. "That doesn't change the fact that Santana can't resist Brittany."_

"_Please, Santana is definitely the one in control." Naya started, her voice softer than the innuendo behind her words._

_She cleared her throat softly, before continuing. Heather kept silent, watching her with a daring smile._

"_She's the head-bitch of McKinley after all. She loves to be on top."_

"_Have you seen the way she looks at Brittany?" Heather asked with a lopsided smile. Her eyes teasing as her fingers moved forward to play with Naya's._

"_She's totally whipped."_

"_Oh really?" Naya gripped Heather's thumb. "Aren't we so full of ourselves?"_

"_Whatever Brittany asks, Santana will do. She may think she's in control, but Brittany is calling the shots."_

"_I need to have a word with Santana about that. Apparently her girlfriend is not so innocent."_

_Heather laughed, pulling Naya's hands and clutching them between hers._

"_Let them be. They work. That's all that matters."_

"_That's true." Naya's said softly, looking at their joined hands._

_They stood like that for a while. Sometimes they would just stand still, watching each other, completely content in their silent communication. The tables around them were quiet. People whispered their words, as if everyone was intoxicated by the scalding sun._

"_We should go." Naya interrupted the silence, her smile shy._

_Heather nodded, grinning proudly. She loved when Naya got like that. She couldn't really explain why. It was as if the tenderness between them made Naya bashful of the happiness exuding from her. It was adorable._

_They walked calmly to Heather's car, the heat slowing their muscles lazily. When they got inside, Naya closed her eyes and let her head fall to the head-rest._

"_This damn heat is draining me out."_

_Her eyes popped open even before Heather spoke. It was like she could guess the blonde's intentions before she even made a move._

"_I know how to fix that." She said already gripping the now tepid water-bottle she kept in her car._

"_Don't you dare!" Naya threatened jumping over the dashboard to freeze Heather's movements._

_Heather laughed against her hair, easily freeing herself from Naya's grip._

"_What? It will wake you up."_

"_Heather, I swear!" She almost shouted, promptly moving back to her seat. "Don't even try it. If that water touches me…"_

_Naya was pointing a finger at her face, while her other hand tried to shield herself. Her back was now glued to the window, not containing the smile that burned her lips even though she tried to make it seem menacing._

"_What will you do?" Heather asked, biting her lip as she watched Naya squirm._

"_If I get wet, you get wet. You can be sure of that."_

"_Hmmm… Sounds perfect." Heather teased her, making her friend's eyes bulge, her neck flushing visibly._

"_Look who's blushing. I thought ethnic people didn't blush."_

_Naya threw herself at Heather again, stealing the bottle successfully. Heather gasped, trying to retrieve the weapon from the girl's sneaky hands._

"_You want this?" Naya asked, holding the already open bottle as far as she could._

"_I'm stronger than you. You know as soon as I reach it, I'll win." Heather noted, eyeing the bottle skeptically, not really moving to grab it._

"_Well then I won't let you reach it."_

_The dancer got distracted by Naya's sultry voice and before she knew it her tank top was soaking wet. She shrieked with the sensation and looked down at herself in a mix of laughter and shock._

"_You shouldn't have done that." Heather muttered before leaving the car in a quick move and moving to Naya's side._

_The brunette opened the door quickly, her laughter anxious as she saw Heather advance in her direction like a wild animal. Heather got to her before she could exit completely, and pushed her back inside with the weight of her body. She easily gripped Naya's hand - that was still holding the bottle - forcing her arm over her torso. The bottle was almost empty but it had enough content to leave Naya dripping. She shrilled in anticipation before the liquid fell on her chest, slipping through her shirt and running over her neck._

_Naya was laughing hard, her body convulsing making the water spread quicker. Heather threw the bottle to the side, admiring her work smugly while trapping Naya down by the shoulders. She was straddling one of Naya's legs, but the girl kicked Heather's butt with her free one, inadvertently pulling her closer. Heather let go of Naya when she fell, not wanting to crush the shorter girl against the dashboard. She pushed her elbow against the side of driver's seat while her other hand gripped the steering wheel, keeping her body hovering above her friend's._

_Their eyes met and the laughter slowly subsided, although they were both still grinning hard._

"_We're crazy."_

_Heather nodded in response._

"_Your car is drenched now."_

"_I don't care. This was fun."_

_Naya laughed at that. "You're such a kid."_

"_You threw the water at me, remember?"_

"_You started it."_

"_That's true."_

_They laughed again making Heather's body brush against Naya's. Only then was Heather aware of how close they were. Suddenly, the feel of their interlocked legs and their slippery stomachs rubbing against each other made her light-headed. She looked down at their torsos. Naya's cheek brushed her forehead as she watched the brunette's chest shinning with scattered droplets of water._

_The prank had turned her tank top completely see-through, revealing more cleavage than appropriate along with the contours of a lacy white bra. Heather's chest started heaving faster at the sight, mimicking Naya's. She felt her insides clench ferociously, causing her muscles to tremble against the body beneath hers. She snapped her head up to avoid that feeling and her eyes met hers. They were so close now that Heather could feel Naya's cold breath against her lips. She followed the source finding rosy plumped lips now slightly agape. It would take only an inch to close the distance between them, she noticed._

_Heather breathed in deeply, glancing back at Naya. The girl was serious. Not a bad serious, just intensely studying her. The silence in the car grew heavier making Heather feel hotter than she had all day, only this time she couldn't blame it on the weather. Her eyes drifted towards the lips right under hers. She felt her arms shake and had to grip the wheel harder to keep steady._

_When Naya moved, she had to press her eyes shut, her body responding to the motion. She felt Naya's hand hovering over her arm before the girl tentatively touched her, wet fingers brushing softly against her upper arm. Heather opened her dazed eyes and saw that same turmoil on her friend's face. She couldn't convince herself to move away, but she couldn't take this tension anymore either so she closed the gap._

_Their lips met making both of them gasp. They didn't kiss - lips simply touching as their breaths collided. They grew more rapid when Heather let her body slowly press further into Naya's. She couldn't tell who acted first, but their lips closed against each other, sending a moan through their throats, breaking the silence of the car. She opened her eyes in surprise, but all she saw were the close eye-lids of the most beautiful girl she had ever met. Something burned inside her and Heather dove in again, kissing her harder. Their lips parted and Heather hesitatingly let her tongue graze Naya's lower lip. The brunette gripped her arm harder before meeting her tongue with her own. Their heads turned opposite sides, as their lips opened against each other and their tongues darted further. They explored; slowly, at first, as if studying each other's mouths. Heather had zoned out any thoughts, her body taking over. Her stomach had turned into a boiling oven contrasting greatly with the chills that ran up her spine as Naya sucked her bottom lip._

_She couldn't hold herself together anymore. She stopped fighting her shaking limbs and let her body press against Naya's, her hands quickly travelling to the brunette's neck. She touched the humid flesh, the tips of her fingers buzzing with the contact. Naya gripped her even harder, making her arm ache in a way that had her center clenching more tightly. Heather moaned again, this time inside Naya's mouth making the brunette arch her back slightly, their torsos gliding against each other._

_Their breathing became erratic to a point that Heather felt like they would faint if she didn't break the kiss. But, as much as her lungs demanded it, she couldn't convince herself to stop. She sucked Naya's tongue and this time she couldn't tell who moaned, but it sent a sharp jolt down her body. Her lips hovered above Naya's without breaking contact, and both girls breathed in harshly almost fighting over the air between them._

_The fresh oxygen seemed to wake them from their high and instantly their eyes opened. Heather distanced herself just enough to study Naya's expression, but it was unreadable. Naya's eyes were a darker shade now, they were darker in a way that Heather couldn't explain but it made her ache between her thighs. This notion broke the barrier keeping her thoughts at bay and suddenly a wave of questions washed over her. She couldn't form a coherent thought when they all jumped at her at the same time. She moved again, sitting on her knees, bending slightly so that her head wouldn't hit the ceiling. The leg between her thighs was more noticeable than it should be and she stared at it as if that would stop her center from buzzing. She didn't know what she was feeling, but it was scary. An overwhelming, shocking revelation that she wasn't sure she could face just yet. She smiled awkwardly, not yet facing the brunette. No matter how frightened she felt, part of her was still excited. That moment, whatever it was, had been amazing._

"_What is it with us and kissing in cars?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, huskier than she ever heard herself before._

_Naya didn't say anything, so Heather faced her. In the seconds it took to move her eyes, she felt her pulse stop. A dread settled in the pit of her stomach. When she found brown eyes they were bright and warm as ever, a quiet smile playing on Naya's lips as her chest slowed its pace. Heather felt her own lips turn, a wave of relief flooding her and making her exhale loudly. It made Naya smile even more._

_Not really knowing what to do but feeling that she wouldn't be able to control her impulses if she stayed where she was, Heather moved, leaving Naya's lap and letting the girl sit back._

_She stood next to the open door for a minute longer, watching Naya as she adjusted in the passenger seat, biting her lower lip to keep the stubborn grin from settling on her face. With a huge grin of her own, the blonde closed the door and walked back to her side. They drove in silence to work._

Heather brushed the back of her hand on her tear stained cheeks, forcing her eyes away from the empty seat on her right. She exited the car and locked it, walking to her house in heavy steps, while the pain in her chest swallowed her as a whole.

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><p><strong>Author's note: I just wanted to thank each and everyone one of you for taking the time to read this. I have no words to say how much I appreciate it. English is not my first language and I'm sure it's noticeable, but knowing that people take the time to read what I write is a huge compliment and I really could not be more grateful. As for this chapter, I hope you enjoyed it. I wanted to have this flashback before going deeper into Heather's mind, because, although I do like angst, I think it's always good to have a break from it. And also I like to give you guys their back-story as their current relationship progresses. I hope you like it. And I hope you come back for more. Thank you!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I used the hiatus to get some work done. From now on the updates will be more frequent. Also, as much as I love angst I won't keep this dark forever. Let's not forget Lea is throwing a party soon. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I was flattered that you guys missed this. Thank you all!**

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><p><strong>7. Looking back<strong>

For the first time, in the last few weeks, arriving home felt heavenly. She let her buzzed body sunk on the couch, the pang in her chest never ceasing. She lit the candles on the coffee table, turning off the lamp next to her. The soft smell of flowers surrounded her in short minutes and in the darkness she let fresh tears fall. The warmth of her house slowly eased her nerves, but the sadness kept rolling down her cheeks, staining her makeup on their way.

She couldn't deny it anymore, although maybe she should. Did it really matter? Pretending wasn't stopping the tears from falling.

She still felt something. Something she shouldn't feel for anyone but her boyfriend.

_Something, _she heard herself whisper as a scornful laugh vibrated on her didn't begin to define it.

That realization wasn't new to her, it didn't feel foreign or shocking, just heavy and painful. She thought it was under control. How could she have been so clueless?

The girl's face invaded her mind. Brown eyes, a button nose and cute tiny ears covered in massive dark locks. Heather gripped her shirt, pulling the neckline as if it suffocated her. A sob rang through her lips. She covered her mouth desperately, closing her eyes firmly trying to stop the ragged sound.

She couldn't go on like this. She couldn't come home to her boyfriend of two years – more if she counted those on and off periods – who was ready to share a life with her, a life they chose, and sob her heart out for someone else. Someone she called a best friend. A girl she claimed to want to see be happy. And she did, she wholeheartedly did. But it hurt. It hurt seeing her with that guy. She knew this would happen, eventually. But a vague idea was nothing like watching it happen. It didn't matter if that guy was just a fling or her newly found soul mate. Well, that was a lie. The second option would kill her right now. But whichever it was, the simple fact that he was out there, having a date with her, kissing her as much as he wanted to, wherever he wanted to – it made her irrationally envious, but worse than that, she had never felt so alone.

Feeling a blush wash over her face as her selfishness ashamed her, Heather let her head fall to her knees, gripping her ankles tightly. She didn't want to sit there and think about it. She wanted to go to her room, hug her boyfriend and sleep. Sleep and forget. Convince her mind to go back to its aloof state, to the forced belief that everything was as it should be. But she couldn't move. Slowly taking a breath, she watched the flick of light from the candles make patterns on the carpet under her feet while her tears pooled on the cotton of her leggings.

The hardest she tried to keep those thoughts from her head the worst the pain in her chest got. She pressed her palms to her eyes, her hands cornered between her face and knees. She was shaking. She tried to swallow the knot in her throat but it wouldn't leave and now her hands were shaking too and she had to press her face harder against her legs, feeling her skin soaking as her heart ripped apart.

She remembered being scared before. Being scared of what was happening to her and Naya. If only she knew she would feel like this by playing it safe. This wasn't safe. This wasn't comforting. This was the most frightened she had ever felt. Would it always hurt like this? Would she ever stop crying? Was her carefully constructed life going to crash upon her so rapidly by the mere image of a freaking kiss on a freaking date?

It used to be so easy with her. The talks by the fireplace while drinking wine, lying on the carpet, the same carpet that was now facing her with mocking peacefulness. And the walks on the weekend, those insane sprints in the park that Naya complained so much about but never skipped one. The movie nights cuddling on Naya's couch watching whatever movie because there was nothing they couldn't have fun with. The shopping sprees where they would try the most insane clothes and laugh until their bellies hurt. Their date nights on Fridays, when Heather would playfully court Naya until they ended up sleeping over and having breakfast at noon – just coffee and donuts, because that's what Naya always felt like having.

How naïve to think they could go on playing house without things ever changing.

For so long Heather didn't care how others saw their relationship. She zoned out the innuendo behind their friend's comments. She rolled her eyes at her roommate's assumptions. She shrugged off her mother's worry. It was like nothing got to her. She didn't need those voices in her head because she and Naya understood each other perfectly. Their world was theirs and no one else was allowed in, until she let them. Whatever they were, it suited them and no one else could define them - until she let them.

And when she did, she panicked. She never voiced it. Not to her roommate, not to her mom, not to Naya. She saw this future, this unknown dangerous future and she knew she couldn't stay on that road. No, she had to go back. She had to backpedal fast and reach that point before the line had been crossed.

There was too much to lose. Most of all, she could lose her.

So when she saw _him_, such a goofball, such a simple, nonthreatening kind of guy, she was sure that's what she wanted. She had feelings for him. They were different now, it wasn't like before, but there was still that tenderness of a past love. If they worked she could build a family, without all the loss that the other road might cause. If they didn't work, she would find someone else. It wasn't a death sentence, it wasn't life-altering. She could get over him. That made it seem so logical. So perfect. He was attractive - her body didn't complain. It didn't feel alien to her to be intimate with him again. He was sporty, he liked being outdoors, he was lively - he was just like her. They were simple together and they had fun. Her family loved him and with him she didn't panic. Nothing made her panic about him. What else could she possibly want?

It took them a while, Naya and her. She smothered the girl with teenage lovesick rambling's until brown eyes stopped watering at the reference, until teeth stopped pressing against plump lips, until she stopped looking away. Heather wasn't proud of it. She wasn't proud of ignoring her every impulse to keep pressing until they really talked about it. She wasn't proud of shutting the burning feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her to hug the girl instead of stabbing the open wound. But she had to be sure she saved them. She had to be sure she erased the past before it was too late.

And up until now she thought she had succeeded.

Naya grew distant for a while, spending more time with everyone else in the face of the earth than with Heather. Sleeping with Mark again, making out with random girls in her frequent trips to New York. Naya didn't tell her about it, but Telly wouldn't keep his mouth shut. Heather had a feeling he was testing her, but she never stopped him. She wanted to know, no matter how much her lungs ached with every word.

It took a while, yes. But they were back. They could still read each other like no one else, they were still as in sync as two separate beings could be, and slowly they started being _them_ again. Never fully, but close enough. But maybe even that had been too much. Maybe once they started, Heather would never be able to stop herself in time. And now here she was.

It was one thing to know about some faceless person Naya sucked faced with. Or know about Mark, who Heather knew would never have her heart. But this new guy, popping out of nowhere, with a very real face, and very real hands, and very real lips. It was different. It kicked her walls down. Now she could see everything she was avoiding.

She may not understand Naya or what goes on behind those brown eyes, because as much as she knows that girl, when it came to them Heather was lost as soon as their lips touched for the first time. But her own mood swings, her guilt, the sinking feeling that seemed to grow heavier these past few weeks - all of that was invading her mind with a clarity she refused until now. While tears blurred her vision, she felt she could finally see everything she had been closing her eyes to. And it was horrifying.

There was a reason she chose to shut off her feelings. There was a reason for not thinking about it. People always asked her what made her different from her character Brittany, but she could only think of what made them similar. Brittany didn't acknowledge the world like the others. She lived in her own world. Aloof. But unlike Brittany, Heather didn't choose a magical world to believe in, she didn't go with her gut, she didn't challenge Santana. Heather chose the world without magic, without butterflies and burning chests. She chose the world she could count on, with no surprises and no risks. She could be her happiest there, she was sure of it. But the claws ripping her heart apart and the air that refused to be welcomed by her clenching chest, the water that would not cease its trail down her face, making her eyes swell and her nose turn a bright shade of red, her numbs limbs that sank her further into the couch, they didn't seem sure of it at all.

With a growl of pain she stood up, facing the door like a kid when their parents forget to leave the hallway light on. She trailed the path to the front door under the darkness. She would be lying if she didn't admit she was scared to death, but there was someone she needed to see right now, and the fear of treading this path was nothing compared to the agonizing pain inside her.

She looked at her car, knowing she wasn't capable of driving, not just for the state she was in but because of the alcohol still in her system. And she couldn't face the memories again. If she hadn't relieved them, in some stupid urge to be back in their bubble, she would probably be sleeping right now. The pain dulled by a night's rest. Instead she had stayed on the sidewalk until their friends were gone and entered her car, letting the past take over her present.

The cab came to a full stop. She hadn't even realized she had gotten into one, much less given an address. Her shaking hands handed the money to the old men who looked at her with a mix of worry and repulsion.

_I must look terrific._

She slowly took the steps to the front entrance and rang the bell twice. After a while she heard the faint sound of footsteps nearing the door, probably wondering what kind of freak thought visiting at practically 4 a.m. would be appropriate.

The peephole darkened and in a second the door opened completely, revealing a bed-haired brunette, still half in a daze as her eyes took on Heather's state.

"Heather? What's wrong?"

There was a pause. Heather felt fresh tears in her eyes as an overwhelming relief flooded her. There was no place she would rather be right now.


	8. Chapter 8

**8. Tears & Breakfast**

"_Heather? What's wrong?"_

_There was a pause. Heather felt fresh tears in her eyes as an overwhelming relief flooded her. There was no place she would rather be right now._

"Hey." Heather managed through the knot in her throat, her face contorting as the pain resurfaced when seeing her friend.

Ashley pressed her lips into a thin line, the worry kicking the vestiges of sleep from her eyes.

"Come here." She whispered softly, moving to hug Heather.

She felt silly as she practically jumped to the brunette's arms, holding on for dear life. A sob made its way through her mouth.

She could faintly hear Ashley's soothing words as she pulled her inside.

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><p>They had been sitting in the living-room for about half hour. Heather was holding a mug of warm tea on her still shaky hands that Ashley had quickly fixed for her. With her legs under her, while nestling on the couch, she averted her eyes from the form sitting on the floor. Ashley hadn't stopped watching her since they got here, as if by looking away Heather would crumble completely. The tenderness in her eyes warmed Heather's heart, appeasing some of the heaviness.<p>

Ashley breathed in deeply and even before she spoke Heather knew what was coming. As patient and caring as Ashley was, that hint of frustration was already twitching her lips in a way Heather was familiar with.

"Are we gonna talk about it this time?"

_No._

That was always Heather's first instinct. But she knew it wasn't fair, not today. She couldn't just barge in, in the middle of the night, crying her eyes out and then refuse to let her friend in. Still, she couldn't make herself say anything. So she looked at her friend and simply nodded.

"Did something happen today?"

Her voice was so quiet that Heather wouldn't have been able to hear it if it wasn't for the deadening silence surrounding them.

She nodded again, moving to wipe the tears away as her face furrowed with flashbacks of what she had seen. They stayed in silence for a while, until Heather stopped sniffing and let her eyes focus on her friend once more.

"I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. Like I must be going crazy or something."

Ashley scooted closer putting her hand on Heather's knee and holding firmly, encouraging her to go on.

"I lost her."

The broken words cut through the silence and Ashley let out a long breath. A sad smile played on her lips when she spoke, "I don't think that's even possible."

Heather sniveled, the tiniest glint of hope brightening blue eyes before they got dark again.

"As a friend, maybe."

Ashley stared intently, acknowledging the dancer's words.

"I thought I would have the perfect life - the dream. But this isn't a dream. Nothing is right. Nothing at all."

Heather's eyes drifted around the room, not really looking at anything as her mind gathered her thoughts. She frowned, trying her best to find something coherent to say, instead of the mess that so often floated inside her head.

A wave of gratefulness hit her when she saw the unmoving patient gaze Ashley had set upon her.

The tears cracked her voice as she continued. "She had a date today. I saw them _together_."

There was bitterness in her tone as much as she tried to cover it.

"I don't even know why this one guy bothered me so much. It's just… Nothing is the way it's supposed to be. And suddenly she's there, kissing that jackass and something just hit me, you know?" Ashley nodded. "And I couldn't breathe. Everything came back to me and I felt so trapped."

Heather pressed her eye-lids closed, but it didn't keep the water from flowing down her cheeks.

"I don't feel at home in my own house. It used to feel safe there and now even that is gone. I feel like this huge void grew inside of me. And I ignored it for so long that now it's too late to fill it."

Heather took a shaky breath, stopping a new wave of tears. Her hand gripped Ashley's so strongly it hurt. The brunette moved to the couch enveloping her in her arms quietly.

"What about Taylor?" Her friend asked after a long pause.

Heather took a deep breath in, shrugging hopelessly.

"We barely talk, you know? It was so much easier before. I was like a walking chronometer when I was with him. I enjoyed it but I knew it would end. Maybe I enjoyed it because I knew it would."

Playing with the sleeves of her jacket, she remembered the simple days when the reality of her relationship with Taylor didn't weight on her shoulders.

"You don't have to think much when a week later you won't be seeing each other again for months. There wasn't even much to worry about. And when something felt wrong or we were off, we would shrug it off. There wasn't time to deal with that because one of us would always have to leave soon. But now…"

Letting her arms fall limply, she faced her friend with desperate blue eyes.

"… Now we have all the time in the world and it's a nightmare."

Ashley pressed the girl against her body, offering her shoulder for a very swollen blonde to rest her head. Her face scrunched up in worry watching the broken girl. She looked so helpless now, so unlike her usual lively and strong soul.

"I used to laugh with him." Heather continued. "He's goofy and like such a kid. I used to love that. Now it annoys me. He knows it's been shit since he moved in, but he never says anything. He never did. I used to think that was a good thing. That it meant he loved us just like we were. But now, I just find it frustrating. How can he stand there, knowing everything is wrong and like do nothing? His only worry is how packed the gym will be if he leaves ten minutes later than usual."

Ashley snorted and immediately felt Heather relax in her arms, as if by not judging her, the dancer could speak more freely.

"But have you tried talking to him about it?" She eventually asked.

"I don't feel like I can. The mere suggestion that a serious talk is approaching and he's out the door. He doesn't even have that many friends here. Maybe he just walks around outside our house until he thinks I've forgotten whatever it was I wanted to say." Heather paused before adding more quietly. "I don't press it. Honestly, I don't know what to say either. It feels like it just stopped working."

If Ashley was completely honest, she hoped this day would come eventually.

Their relationship always reminded her of her best friend from highschool - Karen. Karen had big dreams. She wanted to move to LA and become a pop star. They would move in together and while Ashley went to auditions, she would write songs and send demos to big companies. Soon enough, Ashley would get a role in a small movie, then a bigger one, then a bigger one; until she was walking up the stairs to receive her first Oscar. Just like Karen and her Grammys. Their house would be minimalist except for the big shelve filled with their multiple awards.

Ashley didn't have her Oscar yet, but if she ever got it, it wouldn't be Karen holding her hand as she waited for them to say her name. Karen had found herself a boyfriend, a job in their small town's most popular bar. She could even consider a sort of celebrity in that little community. And suddenly that was enough. That security rooted her. Ashley didn't judge her, because it seemed like that was what truly made her happy.

She thought that growing up had changed Karen's perspective on life, until two years before she went back to her hometown. In her Christmas visit what she found was a housewife Karen, with a fake smile plastered on her face and a heavy baggage of crushed dreams. When they talked Ashley felt the resentment and regret in green eyes that used to hold passion and adventure. It broke her heart, but it also made her swear she would never settle for commodity. It made her braver.

And that's why when Heather announced her engagement to Taylor, Ashley froze. She knew the girl inside out and she knew whatever happened, Heather - even if shying away from the spotlight - would do great things in her lifetime. And as she did so, she would live freely, following her passions wherever they took her. But that certainty was shaken as Heather grew that look on her face that Ashley recognized all too well.

Suddenly, Heather described her future just as her mother had always dreamed for her, and step by step it rooted her. Ashley convinced herself that maybe Taylor was another one of Heather's passions, and she would follow it, even it meant building a life different than what she had previously imagined. But something was lacking in those vibrant blue eyes.

She could tell why Heather liked Taylor. He was kind and dorky, good-looking and easy going. He grounded her as her life twisted and turned in Hollywood's crazy spiral. Their fights always seemed too petty and insignificant to ever really cause a break up. But she was still surprised to see it work.

Taylor's whole mind-set was stuck in the past, along with their little town, along with Karen. Heather may have liked their shared background, their similar childhood, but she kept moving while he stayed right where he was. Moving to LA wouldn't change it. Dating Heather wouldn't change it.

But maybe Heather would. Maybe Heather would keep adapting until she lost the spirit behind her blues, just like it was gone from Karen's greens.

That scared Ashley, but it wasn't her life to live. And it wasn't her place to judge.

"And the sex…"

The brunette was brought back from her reverie with a jolt, catching Heather's scowl and having to suppress her laughter at seeing how adorable she looked.

"I hate morning sex. It's like I'm part of his routine. Wake up, stretch, pound Heather, eat breakfast, brush teeth, leave for the gym. Sometimes I fall right back asleep, but do you think that stops him? Nope. I wake up with a groaning man between my legs pumping me like I'm his blow up doll."

Heather's pout made Ashley crack a smile. She could feel her friend relaxing in her arms as she let it off her system.

"I'm getting you never come."

"Those 50 seconds don't do it for me, no."

They both laughed easily.

Ashley wanted nothing more than to make her friend feel better, but it would be short-termed bliss if she let her continue down this route. This wasn't just about Taylor and they both knew that. He was part of it because he wasn't _her_. The brunette hesitated, choosing her words carefully. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it shortly after. They had barely ever discussed it...

Heather threw a side glance at her with a small smile.

"Just say it."

"You've been living with him for less than four weeks, but you've been dating him for much longer than that. Was it 'moving in' that made you realize that maybe you aren't right for each other?"

Heather seemed a little surprised by the question. They both knew that wasn't what she wanted to ask, but Ashley felt the need to stall. She couldn't take Heather's broken face just yet.

It took Heather a while to answer and when she finally did, she stood up from the couch creating some distance, her back to Ashley.

"People kept praising us for maintaining a long-distance relationship, but honestly, I think the only reason it worked for so long was _because_ it was long-distance."

Ashley nodded, even though Heather couldn't see it.

"I guess I started feeling nervous when we were packing your stuff. It just didn't feel right that I was devastated that you would leave, and not the least bit excited that my boyfriend would move in."

"Heather, I'm flattered. Are you saying you're actually in love with me?" Ashley joked, trying to ease some of the tension building up on Heather.

The blonde looked back, grinning hard. She turned her body to face Ashley and raised her hands in defeat.

"You got me."

Ashley smiled gently at her. "I noticed, you know? And I knew it couldn't be just because your dearest roommate was moving two blocks away."

Heather simply looked at her.

"And then in your birthday. You seemed to feel safe hanging out with your friends. As if you needed it. Now, I know it was your birthday, but it still didn't make much sense to me. Also, no Naya."

Heather smiled. "You know me better than I know myself."

"I think that talent goes to someone else."

It was as if Ashley had dropped a silent bomb. Heather tensed, looking at her friend with that hardened expression she made when the sadness hit her.

"And he looked like a kid who had just got grounded for a month." Ashley added, smiling at the blonde, trying to pull her out of her brooding trance. It was best to keep this conversation jumping from light to serious, she had noticed.

Heather sat on the floor, still looking away. Ashley decided it was too late to run from the subject.

"If I remember correctly, your smile only returned on a very special day at work."

The blonde smiled which, to be honest, stunned Ashley. She was already expecting a deep frown to create lines on the pale forehead of the girl facing her. The silence that followed, however, didn't surprise her at all. She felt bad for pushing so much, but after all these years she knew Heather was a pro at silencing all her Naya feelings. Wasn't that what got her here in the first place?

"How was shooting that?"

"Not like you would think." She said simply. "It was strange, but more familiar than sad. It was as if we got a free pass to the good old days."

_Good old days._ Ashley couldn't help thinking.

"What about the kisses?"

Heather snorted.

"Aren't you dying for the dirty details?" The blonde smiled playfully before shrugging. "What can I say? It was overwhelming. It felt like…" She stopped, her voice weakening.

"Home?"

And there it was - the frown was back in full force.

"Yeah." She barely whispered. "But every time they would yell cut, we would jump back to the present. We had a lot of fun that day. But as soon as the kissing would start, the present was there and the past got pushed aside. I honestly imagined it would be the other way around." Heather paused before adding with a blush. "But I enjoyed every minute of it."

One image came to her mind as she spoke the words: the sight of brown eyes staring back at her, the twitch of rosy lips as that bittersweet expression was slowly painted on Naya's face. Heather never got what was behind that smile. Was she remembering the past? Did her chest burn like Heather's did? Were butterflies flying in her stomach too? Were her hands clammy like the blonde's? She checked. They were. That made Heather smile. A huge grin creating freckles at the sides of her eyes. And just like in the first year Naya got that bashful grin, averting her eyes for just a second before looking back at Heather and cracking up softly.

"Brittana always made things more awkward. As proud as I am of that story, it was always a curse." Heather continued, letting go of the memory.

"It just reflected the bond between you two."

"Well, I would rather just do my thing and have no one watching it every Tuesday night."

"You could always say you're just a great actress."

"I'm not. And everyone could tell."

Ashley watched her friend as she palmed the carpet like she was watching a painting only her eyes could see. When Heather looked up, the brunette knew they were done for the day.

"You must be exhausted. Go to sleep." She said, already standing up and crossing her arms against her stomach.

"No, Heather. I'm good. I'll stay up as long as you need me to."

Heather smiled gratefully. "I know you would. But I'm tired too. I'm just gonna go home."

"Oh no, you're not. You're gonna text Taylor and tell him I had an emotional emergency. And, as my best friend, you're going to sleep over because you're way too worried to leave."

The look of relief that adorned Heather's face made Ashley sure that she had done the right thing.

When they got to Ashley's room, she fought sleep until she knew Heather was safely passed out. It took a while, and it also took a lot of willpower not to hug the girl as she silently cried herself to sleep.

* * *

><p><em>Heather drove the golf car towards their trailers, both girls rolling with laughter at the looks they were receiving, showing up in their soaked and very transparent clothing. Telly and Kevin were moving their way when Heather parked the tiny car, reaching to grab Naya's arms as tears filled the corner of her eyes.<em>

"_They're calling the doc right now to check us for drug consume." Naya continued, holding a trembling Heather that seemed to have trouble stepping out of the car as another round of boisterous laughter invaded her throat._

"_Girls, what happened? Was it raining where you got coffee?" Kevin asked, his lips turning up at the sight._

"_They make each other wet." Telly murmured, getting kicked in the arm by a wide eyed Naya._

"_We need to go get dressed." Heather eventually said, exhaling a long happy breath while holding her pained stomach._

"_You really do." Agreed Telly pushing them towards their shared trailer._

_Once inside, Heather started immediately undressing. The presence of the shorter girl right behind her didn't go unnoticed. She turned halfway with playful eyes, catching Naya ogling her back._

"_What exactly are you doing?" Heather's sharp eyes were fixed on Naya's as her low voice filled the room._

_Naya looked shocked and bashful for a quick second before cocking an eyebrow and slapping the blonde's ass on her way to left side of the trailer. She opened the door that connected to her area, but didn't bother closing it as she undressed as well._

_Heather found herself grinning at the brunette's form as she whined slightly while taking off the now very clingy garments. When Naya reached her back to undo the strap of her bra, Heather turned on her heels so quickly she got dizzy. Her breath accelerated as her mind played tricks on her for the second time that day. She shook her head to focus on the task at hand, roughly pulling at her clothes as if that would calm her down._

_Heather didn't dare turn around until they were both ready._

_Already in their cheerleading uniforms, they joined the rest of the cast on the stage set. They could hear Lea's high pitched voice before they entered the room._

"_Rachel Berry is wild, write that down."_

"_She's a self-centered goody two shoes." Amber replied mockingly._

"_And a diva." Jenna added. _

"_She'll probably just stand there and wait for them to satisfy her." Amber continued._

"_I know Rachel better than any of you. And I'm telling you, she'll be unstoppable. Quinn is the pretty girl, the prom queen. She's the one who probably just stands there hugging Finn like some koala because she never had to work to get anything or any boy."_

_Dianna cracked up loudly, pulling Lea by the arm as if she was about to hit her, but instead just interlocked their fingers._

"_How exactly did Rachel work for it?" Dianna asked mischievously._

"_Are we trashing Rachel Berry? How was I not invited to this?" Naya interrupted in her Santana voice, moving to sit on Kevin's lap._

"_Who do you think is better in bed? Quinn or Rachel?" Mark asked with the eager look he always got whenever someone mentioned sex._

"_You are all a bunch of pervs. We weren't even talking about sex."_

"_I think Rachel definitely has a kinky side. The good girls are always the ones you should look out for." Mark continued, ignoring Amber's comment._

"_Who do you girls think is the best lover?" Dianna asked calmly with a playful grin that displayed her perfectly white teeth._

"_Don't answer as Santana!" Lea threatened pointing at Naya._

"_I vote Santana." Heather said, shrugging her shoulders._

_Naya turned to look at her with a huge smile on her lips that didn't hide the dark look in her eyes. Heather had to gulp at the sight, barely listening to Lea's complaint that she was avoiding the question._

_Staring at the brunette on Kevin's lap Heather continued, advancing slowly in their direction, "She may be bitchy and full of herself, but her insecure side will make her work for it. She'll like want to be the best girl any man or woman as ever had."_

"_That's true. As the only dude that got to bang all three of them, I know best. But I still think Rachel will be the kinkiest of them all."_

"_Who's the best kisser though?" Kevin asked. "That's the only fact you got, Mark."_

"_We go for it." Lea said pointing at both Dianna and herself with a smirk._

"_You do." Mark agreed. "Naya is the shiest."_

_Naya shrugged her shoulders sheepishly._

"_What can I say? My kisses aren't for all to enjoy."_

_Her eyes travelled to blue ones for a second before they drifted away, a knowing smile adorning her lips._

"_Sweet lady kisses." Heather whispered._

"_Haha! That's such a Brittany thing to say." Kevin noted._

_Heather simply nodded, her eyes catching Naya's once more._

* * *

><p>When morning came, Heather took a long shower before dressing in sweats that she had conveniently given Ashley.<p>

"I want a part of me in your new home. And in case I ever suffer from Ashley withdrawal, I want to have a pair of comfy clothes to wear after my impromptu sleepovers." That had been some good thinking on her part.

She hadn't remembered to change the night before, but at least now she could go to work feeling clean and comfy. The thought of being on set was uncomfortable enough. At least she had been able to sleep for a couple of hours, considering she only had to go to work at noon. She didn't feel rested, though. The memories Heather had tried to avoid had probed her dreams.

She met Ashley downstairs and the girl greeted her cheerfully, as if Heather's presence had been planned all along. While she prepared their breakfast, with a mug of coffee in hand, the watch-dog look returned to her features. It made Heather chuckle, but also reminded her of something she needed to ask.

"So, what do I do now?"

Ashley turned sideways, not stopping her cooking activities and watching her pensively before turning away again.

"If you ask me, this isn't about Naya or Taylor. It's about you."

Heather walked slowly to Ashley's side, crossing her arms and listening intently. She was glad to give her brain a break and just hear someone else figure this mess out.

"You need to figure yourself out." Ashley continued as if reading her thoughts. "You had a chance with her and instead you chose Taylor. There must have been a reason for that."

The blonde looked away. There was a reason. Lots of reasons, actually. And they were still very much alive in her head.

She valued her family and she valued their traditions. But most of all, she needed their love. After everything they had been through - all the loss - she couldn't put them through such disappointment. What if they shut her out? It would not only break her, but break them as well. And even if she could get through to them…

There was the whole career thing. The thought of losing it didn't bother her much, though. There were many things she would love to do. Acting wasn't all. Dancing, directing, writing… It didn't matter. She didn't need her face everywhere. She didn't need to be seen. Actually, she would much rather not be. But what about Naya's career? The girl had so much talent. Such incredible talent. What would happen if they took that step? Would it hurt her? Would it keep her from showing the world just how amazing she was? Heather shouldn't have to think that way. The world should be better than that. And maybe it was. Maybe Lea was wrong about it all. Maybe her mother was too. And Naya was unstoppable. Even small minded people would have to bow to her greatness. She believed that. But…

What if they didn't work? What if they ruined the best thing that had ever happened to her? Things would change. If they kept going down that road, they would change for good and Heather would never be able to put it back the way it was. What if Naya wasn't going through the same things she was? How would she react to it? Would she distance herself? Would their bubble break for good?

Losing Naya was the scariest thought of all. Now she felt she would lose her anyway.

"Now I'm pretty sure I know what the reasons were, but that's what you have to focus on." Ashley interrupted her thoughts, as she pulled the pan out of the stove and grabbed Heather by the forearms.

"You know why you did, but does it mean something that you were able to do it? Do you really love Naya if you were able to spend all this time with someone else? Or do you love Taylor, who you chose when you had this fantastic woman at your feet? Or maybe you don't love either of them. Maybe you care for both but what you truly need is time by yourself. No one can answer these questions but you."

Heather knew she was right and, as she heard her friend's words, she realized the mess in her head wasn't as confusing as she thought. Suddenly, even if she couldn't change the loss in her heart, she felt like she had the most important answer.

"What I know is - you live with the guy. You made a commitment to him. So you have to handle that first. And during that time you can't let your regret and your jealousy cloud your judgment."

Now Heather frowned.

"Oh, don't give me that clueless look. You know exactly what I mean."

Heather was about to protest when Ashley continued. "I seem to recall someone appearing in my front step crying about seeing her friend having a date with Mr Jackass."

Ashley let go of her and leaned against the counter.

"I can't tell you how to live your life, Heather. But if you truly care for her, and I know you do, you will let her try to be happy."

Despite the growing cold invading her chest, Heather nodded. She wouldn't dare to ruin Naya's chances. Not ever.

"Just because you found yourself in this mess and now you doubt your decisions, it doesn't mean you have to drag her down with you."

The blonde nodded more vigorously, needing her friend to stop stabbing the open wound but not daring to speak up.

"You have to figure your life out _without_ her and then you'll know where she fits. I know it hurts to see her with someone else," Ashley whispered with a compassionate look. "But Heather, she had to see you with someone else for the past two years. So don't be selfish because that would just be another thing you would kill yourself over in the future."

That was the absolute truth. And Heather already regretted many things.

"Don't pull her in, but don't push her away either. Because we all know how you two work. Every time one tries to leave, the other will be there to stop her." The knowing smile in Ashley's lips made a jolt of warmness cut through the freezing sensation inside Heather, and she couldn't help but smile.

"Be the friend that Naya needs you to be. Let her make her own choices. Sort your life out. Right now, you haven't got space for anyone else."

Heather breathed in deeply and then exhaled slowly. She cut the distance between them and hugged Ashley tightly.

"Thank you, Yoda. _Thank you_. I wouldn't know what to do without you."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hello everyone! See? I told you it wouldn't take me as long. So I know last chapter was a bit dark, but I think that's what happens when you find yourself in a bad place and think back to what got you there. When regret and sorrow combine, you hit rock bottom. That's what happened to Heather. Now it's time to climb back up. This was a conclusion to all that. And I'm sorry for that little "brunette" mislead. :P Soon, Heather may face the right one. Also, I'll try to focus on both girls points of view (at the same time) in future chapters. Just like here with Ashley.**


	9. Chapter 9

**9. Something new**

_**Two and a half years ago**_

Naya parked outside Heather's house a little after midnight. Amber's brunch party had prolonged more than anyone expected and, even after three hours and five bottles of water, the girl could still feel the buzz of all the afternoon drinking. For someone who didn't drink at all, Amber's party had been filled with alcohol.

"Come inside." Asked Heather, tugging Naya's jacket.

"But it's getting late."

"Just for a little while."

"We have an early call tomorrow," the shorter girl reminded her, already feeling her conviction slipping at the pull of Heather's demanding hands. "And you know I'm taking care of the midget beast. I've got to walk her in the morning or she'll pee all over my carpet."

She was referring to the Cannich that her mother had left for her to take care of during a short trip to Italy. Heather giggled at her friend's annoyance, still not over the fact that the small dog had once pooped all over her car.

"I know, I know. But Ashley is already asleep and I'm too wired to go to bed now. Just one more hour, Nay-nay."

The blonde pouted moving closer, without ceasing the tugging on Naya's jacket. It might have been her intention to come off as innocent when she pleaded, but the brunette felt her stomach burn under her gaze. She held the blonde's hand, pulling it from her jacket, and groaned through a quickly growing smile.

"Alright, alright." She relented, turning off the engine. "Cheater."

"Cheater?"

"Yeah," said Naya, stepping out of the car. "You know I can't resist the puppy look."

Heather walked towards the front entrance proudly, taking Naya by the hand.

"That's not cheating. It's winning, fair and square."

When they got inside every light was off except for the one in the hall. The house was warm and smelled like strawberry tea, that Ashley had certainly been drinking; but beyond the reach of the ceiling lamp there was nothing but dense silence and darkness.

"Is she really asleep, already?" Whispered the brunette, now being extra careful not to make a sound.

Heather chuckled, bumping her friend lightly on the shoulder.

"Would I lie to you? She's been going to bed pretty early lately. Oh and you can walk around normally, doofus. Ashley sleeps like a rock."

"Hey, watch who you call doofus." Naya threatened as she followed Heather to the living-room.

After lighting a few candles and turning off the hallway light, Heather moved to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

"Want something to drink?"

Naya was sitting on the back of the couch watching the blonde, and barely acknowledged the question before Heather came back with two beers in hand.

"I really shouldn't be drinking."

"Worst case scenario, you have to sleep here." The dancer winked at her, a daring smirk fixed on her lips.

"What about the midget?" Naya reminded her with a smirk of her own, trying to ignore the blush creeping up her own neck.

"You'll get to her eventually."

Heather stopped in front of Naya, their legs grazing as the blonde extended the second beer in her hand.

"Too many needy women for just one me."

"Oh, I think you can handle it." Heather noted, locking her eyes on plump lips as she spoke.

They went quiet then.

The sudden silence made Heather very aware of her erratic heartbeat. Her hands were clammy and she felt her shoulders tense under the scrutiny of brown eyes. Yet she couldn't keep the challenge from her smile.

She studied the fine lines of Naya's mouth noticing the way full lips curled up under her gaze. Her mind was blank, her whole being focused on Naya. She didn't know what she was doing but she could feel herself moving forward, as if pulled by the sheer magnetism of those supple lips. And suddenly Naya was moving too.

All she had thought about in the past few days was when she would be able to kiss her friend again. Now, as they slowly shortened the distance between them, the blonde could feel the acid burning of anxiety in the pit of her stomach. She gasped when their lips grazed, grabbing the brunette's hip for support when sensing her legs were about to give in. Her breathing was getting heavier, the invasion of oxygen making her lungs clench painfully. She used her lips to part Naya's, closing in on her bottom lip with all the desire that had built up since the last time. The shiver that went up her back would have stopped her, if her need to keep kissing wasn't so strong.

The soft velvety touch against her mouth made her insides clench with need. Pressing the brunette's body against the back of the couch, their legs interlocked effortlessly. Naya gasped against her mouth as Heather's thigh came in contact with her center. Freezing for a moment, with their lips still touching, they breathed in shared puffs of air. Heather took the beer from Naya's hand and set both their drinks on the pier table to her right.

Looking back at brown eyes, she could feel the unspoken questions hanging in the air. Is this okay? Is this something we're going to start doing? But before either of them could find an answer, Naya was closing the gap again. Their mouths captured each other. Heather gripped the brunette's hips harder as soon as Naya's tongue came into contact with her upper lip. Moving to catch it, Heather parted her lips and entered Naya's awaiting ones. Their tongues played softly with each other, before the rhythm fastened as they fought for dominance.

Naya's hands, that held Heather's neck, moved upward dipping into locks of golden hair. She tugged and pulled lightly, never stopping the increasing pace inside their mouths. When the brunette's fingers lightly scratched Heather's scalp, she moaned against plump lips. As she gathered her breath, Naya started leaving firm pecks around the outline of her lips. Heather smiled and without thinking pulled Naya by the ass, lifting her in her arms until they were nose to nose. Naya immediately wrapped her legs around Heather's waist, the sensation sending a jolt downwards that had both girls searching for each other's lips again.

Desperately engulfing the lithe body between her arms, Heather still ached for more contact. Moving around the couch without ever stopping their kiss, she set them down on the soft sofa. Their eyes met for a burning second. Naya pulled Heather down against her and their lips sought contact as their bodies united and melded.

The feel of Naya's body tightly pressed against her own made Heather's stomach boil. With each movement her skin buzzed aching for Naya's touch. Her breathing grew heavier and more unstable. Quickly it became hard to silence the groans that erupted from her throat as she pushed forward, her body rocking against Naya's. The girl underneath her seemed to be having the same problem, her heaving chest pushing Heather's while her hands pulled her closer.

Heather felt a fervent need invade her, settling between her legs with a force like she had never experienced before. Her limbs tensed as if they needed to touch every single part of Naya's body. Freeing her hands from under the girl's back, she stroked the tanned skin of her shoulders, gripping the muscles like a drowning man fighting for air. Her fingertips grazed the brunette's collarbone before moving downwards, finding their way between their bodies. As they reached the rise and fall of Naya's chest, both girls gasped. Heather was panting against Naya's mouth when their eyes locked. Without words blue eyes asked for permission to keep going. With a flustered wild look on her face, Naya bit her lip pushing her chest against Heather's hands. It was all the approval she needed.

Pressing her lips against Naya's, she let her hands close around the girl's bust. The groan that escaped Heather's throat clashed with the moan erupting from the mouth connected to hers. Their tongues met before their lips had even closed the gap between them. Heather's hands continued their path downwards, still lost in their search for something that would numb the pressing throb in her center.

Naya moved her lips to Heather's neck, ferociously devouring her. With her eyes tightly shut and already feeling light-headed, the blonde's hands finally reached the hem of Naya's shirt. Her heart was pumping hard against her ribcage as her hands made their way under the fabric. Her actions slowed down by the distracting frenzy of sensations caused by Naya's lips on her neck. She could feel her underwear clinging to her uncomfortably, her body screaming for release. Heather's stomach clenched dangerously as she palmed the tightness of the brunette's abs. Naya's lips froze against her neck as Heather's hands timidly grazed her muscles.

"Heather," she groaned, barely above a whisper.

The blonde brought her eyes back to her in a flash. The lust in the other girl's voice made her tremble as her own desire was reflected in brown eyes. She fell back to Naya's body, kissing avidly.

With one hand still on Naya's stomach and the other holding onto the girl's neck, Heather pushed herself forward again. When Naya bended the leg that was trapped between Heather's, her thigh rocked hard against the dancer's middle. Heather moaned breathily, their kissing growing sloppy and more desperate.

It was already impossible to still their bodies, their hands, their moans. Heather pulled away, both girls groaning at the loss of contact, before she started kissing down the brunette's neck. Naya pushed her chest against her mouth, one hand tugging Heather's hair while the other hooked around her belt strap. She pulled Heather back, her index finger seemingly having grown newfound strength. Heather smiled against her lips and, in that moment of distraction, Naya flipped them, straddling the dancer. She gasped in surprise, her eyes dark with lust as her hands climbed up Naya's body, now completely at her reach.

Naya lost her focus when Heather's hands reached her breasts again and gripped harder than before. Naya's body seemed to react on its own, pressing itself down on Heather who immediately raised her hips. The pressure was unbearable.

Though her clothes suffocated her, Naya's infuriated her. Heather rose to sit, pulling the girl towards her. She kissed her hungrily, bringing her fingers to the hem of Naya's tank top shoving her hand inside.

"Oh!"

The shocked gasp pulled their mouths apart. Heather's hand froze its movement, lingering over Naya's bra before she hastily pulled back.

A very flushed Ashley was standing by the door looking stunned and yet somehow amused.

They jumped to opposite sides of the couch, their bodies aching with the sudden separation.

"A-Ashley!" Heather shrilled; her voice suddenly very high-pitched. "I-We were…"

It seemed silly to make up an excuse for what they were doing. Even if her roommate had only caught a second of it, she was certain it was enough to figure it out.

"I was just dropping Heather off." Naya started, adjusting her shirt hurriedly.

"I don't think dropping is the appropriate word." Ashley teased averting her eyes from the anxious couple.

Naya's lips turned upwards, a mortified grin adorning her features. Heather bumped her in the arm, her own embarrassment coming out in a choked giggle.

"I think it's time for me to go."

Heather wanted to protest, but Ashley's presence quickly shook the tension from her body and she stood up with Naya. Throwing an apologetic look at a smirking Ashley, she followed the other brunette to the entrance.

Naya turned to her as she opened the door. Her eyes were tender and her smile bashful, contrasting greatly with the wild hair that framed her face and the ragged breaths that escaped her lips. Heather couldn't help but stare for a while, not really noticing they were standing there in silence.

"So… See you tomorrow, then?" Naya eventually said, her voice low again making Heather's stomach burn as well as other parts of her body.

"Yeah, tomorrow." She agreed, barely through a whisper.

Before Naya could fully exit her house, she pulled her by the arm and left a firm peck on the side of her lips. Naya smiled, closing her eyes at the touch. Their eyes met and they giggled breathily.

When Heather closed the door she caught sight of Ashley heading to the stairs with a glass of milk in hand. She watched her friend fumbling for words and explanations.

Ashley stopped at the foot of the stairs and looked Heather in the eye.

"You guys are doing that tour thing this summer, right?"

Caught off guard by the question, Heather simply nodded vehemently, eager to avoid the subject for a while longer.

"Well…" Ashley started looking up to their second floor before a smirk grew on her lips. "That should be fun."

And just like that she was gone, leaving an incredibly awkward Heather standing behind. The blonde shook her head as a huge grin pulled at her cheeks, before heading to her room as well.

* * *

><p><em><strong>The day before<strong>_

"I'm sorry."

Naya felt her heart swell. It weighted down on her chest as she took in Heather's expression. For the first time, in a long time, Naya felt some sort of recognition in her eyes as something transpired between them. Before she could say anything, or simply run out the door, the blonde pulled her into her arms. The girl's face buried in her neck, and Naya had to fight the urge to cry. Being this close to her was always hard, no matter how many times they touched. But actually _feeling_ her so close - that hint of something else tensing the air around them - was unbearable. Naya broke the hug, her heartbeat already pulsing against her skin erratically.

"I never like the guys you date."

The words hit Naya's ear before their eyes met. Looking at Heather now, so vulnerable and pained, broke her heart. No matter how many times she had felt the exact same way, she couldn't watch her like this. And maybe because of that, she felt a wave of tenderness wash over her. It washed over the tension, over the desire she fought to keep controlled, and melted her completely as she gazed at the bluest eyes she had ever seen.

"I know."

It was time to leave, though. Time to go back to the life she should pursue, instead of being held in this closet of memories.

"I'll see you later."

Leaving the bathroom Naya felt like she could finally breathe. Her eyes burned with unwanted tears as Heather's face haunted her thoughts. But she was relieved to be outside, to be walking towards a table where she could finally relax. No past, no hurt, just a new chance.

When she sat back down in front of him, a genuine smile formed on her lips. He smiled back at her and easily started making conversation. It felt good to be here, talking and sharing laughter without shivers running through her back, without her chest heating up at an unstoppable pace. She would miss those feelings. Maybe one day Nate, or someone else, would make her feel all that way again. But, for now, it felt good to feel less. To smile with just a hint of anxiousness, to be playful with just a hint of curiosity, to notice his hand grazing hers with just a hint of curiosity, to watch his face near hers with just a hint of excitement. As their lips met there were no butterflies, no fireworks, but there was a wave of relief as she finally gave in to someone who, at this moment in time, wanted to be with her, who could be with her.

She didn't know how long they stayed there. As soon as the kissing had started, it hadn't stopped. She tried to pull away at times, to catch her breath and rest her lips from all the pulling and sucking he was vigorously doing. But his eagerness left no time for words and, in a way, it made her feel good.

When she finally was able to stop it, faking a bashful smile at their intense display of affection, he suggested they went for a ride. All Naya heard through his cheeky smile was "let's make out in my car". But, as her eyes disobediently scanned the crowd for a familiar face, she knew it was time to change location. Whether the blonde was still there or not, she didn't care to find out.

When they entered the car he started his iPod. The playlist's title was just a nonsensical mix of letters and numbers, but as soon as the corny love ballads started playing, she knew he had perfectly planned it. Stopping a snort that built its way through her throat, she let him caress her cheek. Looking lovingly at her, he threw another round of compliments her way.

"Your lips are so sexy. I've never kissed lips as soft." He whispered as he slowly inched closer. "I could kiss you for hours."

The last one was the truest of his comments. And - keeping his word - the kissing continued. His hand rubbed her arm up and down before travelling to her neck and pulling her even closer. His breathing grew unsteady as his other hand settled on her lower back, scratching lightly, and pressing her against him. His tongue swirled inside her mouth at an increasing pace, going from playful to a perfect impersonation of a washing machine. It was hard for her to keep up with his frantic monotonous movements. As his breathing grew heavier and his hands turned rougher, her willingness slowly abandoned her. Turning away from the kiss for a much needed breath, she felt his mouth attacking her neck. She was so aware of his every action and his growing sloppiness, that her body turned rigid and unresponsive. She had definitely lost the mood.

"Hey…" She whispered against his hair. "We have to stop. I have work tomorrow."

"No, not yet." He muttered sucking her neck.

"No, Nate. Really. I had a great time, but now I have to go."

He stopped kissing her, looking her in the eye with a pouty scowl, half hidden by an understanding frustrated smile. It was kind of adorable.

"Can't we just hang out a bit more?"

She cocked an eyebrow at him with a playful smirk adorning her lips.

"If by hang out you mean this, I'm sorry but no." That didn't sound exactly as she had intended, so she added with a low tone. "It's getting late and if we don't stop now, I don't think we'll be able to, later."

He gripped her hip tightly, his smile growing immediately.

"But we'll see each again soon?" He asked, not looking as unsure as his tone suggested, while he stole a few last kisses.

"Sure."

And with that she smiled, a smile that held no falseness or sorrow and just a hint of joy.

* * *

><p><strong>Present<strong>

"Tell me all about it," Telly exclaimed, spilling sugar into his espresso. "Spare me no detail."

Naya could already imagine the look she was about to receive, so she chose her words carefully.

"He's nice."

And there it was before she had even elaborated.

"Very nice." She added honestly.

Telly wasn't buying it, though.

"He took me to a fancy restaurant. We had nice small talk. He paid." She accentuated the last part. "He's very easy to talk to, really. Telling me stories about his old days race driving and about how he met Megan at that Xavier Rudd concert, and thought she was trying to sell him coke."

They both cracked up at that. Megan and coke were two things that didn't belong in the same sentence.

"We had some wine during dinner, we shared desert… We did it all by the book, basically."

Telly was nodding slowly. He had a smile permanently attached to his face, that didn't quite hide the curious and slightly accusatory look in his eyes.

"Then he asked if I wanted to get a drink. I said yes. And… WesawHeather. The place was really ni…"

"Woah, hold on!" Telly lifted his hand to stop her. His eyes wide with shock. "You saw who now?"

"Can we leave that part for later? It really sort of ruins the Nate continuity."

"I'm sure it ruined it yesterday too."

And he wasn't wrong.

"What was she doing there? Please tell me she isn't stalking you now?"

Naya was flabbergasted by his assumption, snorting a little.

"Are you crazy? She was there with the dancers, remember? That dinner we skipped."

Telly's mouth formed an "oh" but he still didn't look convinced.

"Apparently she goes there a lot. And by the look on her face she didn't expect to see us there, at all."

That piqued Telly's interest. "Did she say something? Was she mean to him?"

"No." Naya whispered, "And why do you sound so excited?"

Telly just shrugged sheepishly. The short silence drifted her mind back to the way Heather had eyed him.

"You know how she is. She's never intentionally mean. She was actually quite cheery, at first."

"I know all that. But if you're going to tell me she didn't react at all, you're about to lie to me."

"Well, she gave him _the_ look."

"_The _look, hum?" Telly chuckled. "Poor guy. And then what?"

"Then nothing. She went back to her 'clan'. And I stayed there with him. He started gushing about her, though. That was awkward."

"What? You're kidding?"

Naya laughed. "I'm not. I was seriously worried for a second. He kept going on and on about how she had a dominate presence. And that he was scared to come up to us the day we met. But we were both so sexy that he had to at least try."

"Oh no…"

"I know. Then he probably realized what he was doing and changed the route. After that I was obviously the sexiest and the one who caught his eye."

"Awkward." Telly snorted.

"Yup. After that, I went to greet the others just to give myself a little break."

Telly seemed conflicted. She could tell he was keeping a myriad of jokes inside, but he would keep quiet for now. It was so obvious that Naya couldn't help roll her eyes at him.

"You really aren't going to say anything bad about him, are you?"

"Not yet. I'm sure you'll take care of that soon enough. And, at least now, I know you two had something in common."

Naya cocked an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to continue.

"You both seem incapable of keeping your drool in check when it comes to Heather."

"HA-ha." Naya slapped him on the arm, avoiding his look as she continued. "So anyway, I went to the bathroom. Heather was there. We talked for a bit. Then I went back to him."

"Stop doing that. Don't jump the juicy parts."

The brunette met his eyes. "I thought you wanted to know about Nate."

"I want to know about _your_ night. That doesn't just include Nate." Telly said seriously, grabbing her hand across the table.

"You're lucky I found that cute." Naya admitted. "She was drunk and being her usual flirty, 'I forgot we can't do this anymore' self."

Telly held his head on his hands frowning.

"But I was focused. So I told her off and then she got the kicked puppy look." Naya huffed, for the first time feeling slightly irritated about what had happened. "Or should I say the clueless, 'why are you shutting me out' look. I swear, sometimes it's like she doesn't even remember what happened, and then suddenly she does, and it's all so freaking tense and depressing."

Naya let out a long breath, trying not to let the memories take over her brain.

"You know I love her, but damn… She needs to learn when to get her ass out." Telly muttered.

The girl simply shrugged.

"She was pretty drunk, though…"

"That's when the truth comes out." Telly spat under his breath, earning a glare.

"I'm sorry." He quickly retracted.

Shaking herself out of it, she took a sip of her drink and smirked against the cup.

"Anyway, after that things got steamy. I decided I couldn't spend the rest of the night dwelling on the mess that is Heather, sooo… I went back, all smiles, and before I knew it, he had his tongue down my throat."

Naya cracked up and Telly joined her, a light-hearted chuckle that seemed to dissipate the tension from their shoulders.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Telly brought his espresso to Naya's plastic cup, toasting. "Aaaaand…"

"Not bad." Naya confessed around a malicious smile. "A little rough, maybe, but I don't mind that."

"Of course you don't." He jabbed her with a wicked grin.

Naya gasped and laughed easily before he urged her on. She told him the rest of the story, comfortably recounting everything. Telly scrunched his face when Naya told him about the growing sloppiness and they ended up goofing about it for hours.

When they got ready to say their goodbyes, both of them were flushed from all the laughter and their throats ached along with their stomach.

"This was fun. You always make me laugh about by misfortunes."

Telly hugged her tightly, speaking to her shoulder without letting go. "Not always."

Naya held on taking in Telly's meaning. "Let's not talk about that. It ruins too much already."

"Okay. But…" He backed out of the hug, still holding her by the elbows. "I'm proud of you. For trying…"

"Yeah..."

"Don't get too comfortable finding flaws, though."

"I haven't been that picky in the past two years."

Telly scowled but shook his head in agreement.

"It's not fair that you have to see her all the time. How does one move on if they have to stand in the same place with the same person…"

Naya was staring at him, feeling his words lift some of the weight she always carried around. It felt good to hear someone else say it. So she wouldn't feel so damn ridiculous for still being affected by it, for not ever being truly over it.

"… And playing the life you could have had." She heard him whisper.

"Sooo…" he continued, gripping her arms harder. "Know that you are a rock star. You are! A television star and a tiny, grainy rock that can weather any storm."

"What?" She giggled scrunching her nose.

"You're gonna be fine." Telly said firmly, now more seriously. "You just have to keep doing what you do and one day you'll be perfectly happy. You deserve it, Nay. And I know you'll get there."

She hugged him. Mostly because she really wanted to, but also because she didn't want him to see the tears that had gathered in her eyes. She would be fine. Eventually.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thank you all for reading! I really appreciate it. You have no idea. I just hope I can keep you interested until the end. Next up: Lea Michele throws a party.**


	10. Chapter 10

**10. You should be happy**

**Friday, 5:06 am**

It was still dark when Naya woke up. She cringed, rolling in bed to hide her face on the softness of her pillow. She heard droplets hitting the window and with a grunt rose from bed. It was raining softly outside. Naya closed the window feeling a shiver run through her arms at the cold that made its way into the room.

Grabbing the pack of cigarettes from her desk – no longer hidden on the bookshelf, now that the bad habit had kicked in again - she walked to the kitchen, getting a yogurt before plopping down on the stool. She ate lazily, feeling exhausted.

It was the second night in a row that she found herself waking up too early after a restless night of sleep. Her fingers reached for the pack and she lit one cigarette, taking a long drag that filled her lungs and made her head buzz slightly. The dizziness it caused calmed her down and would make it easier to fall back asleep once she returned to the comfort of her warm bed. But this time she didn't move to get up. Instead she held her head on the palm of her hand, staring at the door distractedly.

The weekend was right around the corner and Naya couldn't wait for it to start. With Lea's party today, the Saturday dinning ritual at her house had been cancelled. She would have one of her lazy weekends – two whole days of nothing. She wouldn't even shower just so she could stay in her pajamas all day in a total sleep haze.

Usually she loved feeling tired right before the weekend. It made her enjoy her time off that much more. But right now she didn't just feel tired, she was drained. And it wasn't solely because of her work schedule. They had been shooting a lot of dancing numbers. A lot of dancing with a lot of Heather. Even with all that smooth skin and never-ending legs constantly swirling around her, Naya knew that wasn't what had drained her the most. She had fun filming, she let go and just enjoyed it for what it was. No matter how many cold showers she would need afterwards. What had her begging for a weekend of solitude was this nerve-wracking pressure she had felt all week.

She couldn't quite explain it. Lately she felt obliged to smile more, to be more cheerful, to make more jokes… The fact was, pretending to be her happiest was actually making her sadder. She could just stop the act. Go to work grumpy if she felt like it. But then Telly's questions would start, Heather's curious eyes would follow her and Dianna's gloomy smile would pop back in place. That notion seemed even more draining than just smiling ever so often.

It's like they expected her to be glowing. She had been talking to Nate a lot, and considering she didn't quickly jump to criticize him, or pointed out the million things she already hated about him like she used to do with every other date, people figured she was falling for him. And maybe she liked that to be the idea floating around. But it still wore her down to try to keep true to their expectations, especially Nate's.

Were they even aware that they had only had their first date not four days ago? Yes, in less than a week he had taken her to dinner, to the movies and showed up at work for her lunch break. But that was all on him and his apparently very clear schedule.

Even alone in her kitchen Naya couldn't help but sigh at her white lies. She had played it up. She should at least admit it to herself. After her talk with Telly, Naya took a trip down memory lane. It embarrassed her how often it still happened so she had chosen not to share it and focus only on the _new_. Focusing, enhancing it and eventually faking it. It wasn't her style and that was what was bothering her. The fact that she had expected to have to deal with Heather's awkwardness after that impromptu encounter in the bathroom, had made her put her walls back on. After all this time, her walls consisted on deflecting her true feelings rather than becoming distant. Heather had confronted her about that night, but unlike what Naya had expected she had been apologetic and sincere. She didn't explain why it happened, but she didn't ignore it either. Usually, after moments like that, Heather would distance herself physically, but shadow her constantly. Puppy eyes would follow Naya around with everything that was left unsaid. The fact that this time Heather had done quite the opposite had been surprising. It frustrated her more than she would care to admit how disappointed it made her. The idea that, yet again, she alone was living in the fantasy that there was tension between them broke her. Was she that immature? Wasn't Heather's growth and new approach a good thing? Would she ever learn and simply move on like a sane human being? That thought had only increased her need to be closer to someone else.

Naya took another drag before forgetting her cigarette completely. She needed to worry less about what other people thought or wanted, and focus on what she was actually feeling. But it was becoming harder to distinguish what was real or not. And maybe what she wanted was exactly what ashamed her so.

**4:32 pm**

Heather had been driving for less than five minutes when her phone rang. She turned the radio down, and reached for the speakers, spearing a quick look to the caller id.

"Ashley, I'm in the car now. Can I call you back?"

"Oh… Am I on speaker?"

"Yeah…"

"Then let's talk now. I'm on my break and if I hang up, I'll have to listen to Emily whine about John yet again."

Heather laughed softly, only half paying attention, while she took a turn to the left.

"Are you headed home?"

"No, I just left. I'm going to Lea's party, after all. But I'll stop to get Naya first."

"Wait what? Lea's party? I thought you were skipping. You know? To stay with Taylor and talk?"

Heather did know. It had been all she had worried about in the last 48 hours.

"He had plans with the guys. So I decided to go to the party anyway. I really didn't feel like staying home alone with my thoughts."

"You would rather stay with Naya…"

"No!" Heather whined, looking accusingly at the cell phone and giving it a gentle shove as if Ashley would feel it.

"Well, remember not to pull her into this mess."

"I know, Ash. I'm only picking her up because she knew I was taking the car and asked for a ride."

"You better not drink too much."

"I won't. That's why I'm taking the car. That way I won't even think of it. Drinking and hanging out with Naya, is really not a good idea right now."

Ashley snorted.

"That depends on what you think a good idea consists of."

"You know what I mean. And you agree. So quit the sarcasm."

"Okaaay. Well what are you wearing?"

Heather looked confused but answered nonetheless.

"Jacket, t-shirt, jeans and boots."

"Wow, that was helpful."

"Why do you ask?"

"Just because I don't want you to pull Naya into this, doesn't mean I don't want her to remember just how much she wants you."

Heather couldn't help but laugh at that.

"I'm hanging up now. Go be with Emily."

And with that she hung up, a devious smile still firmly attached to her lips. Ashley wasn't that wrong. After all, Heather was wearing the exact same outfit she had the day Naya and her had went to the beach and shared their first kiss. She doubted the brunette would remember such small details, especially since Heather did use a lot of the same clothes. But she figured, if she couldn't express all the turmoil inside, she could at least take a bit of their past with her. It made her feel stronger and it was harmless.

True to fashion, Heather regretted her decision not a minute later. When she arrived at Naya's, she watched as the brunette scrutinized her body while frozen at the doorstep. The cloud that formed in brown eyes left Heather uneasy and extremely quiet, barely whispering a "hello" back. She fought the quivering in her lips, not really knowing if she felt guilty or happy for the attention. When Naya's eyes finally returned to her face, her smile was pained but only for a second.

"You're early. I'm not ready yet. Come on in." She spoke hurriedly, sprinting back to the bathroom.

Only then, Heather focused enough to notice Naya was only wearing a thin robe. But the image of tan legs and a firm butt quickly disappeared down the hall.

Heather closed the door and walked inside. She felt that familiar coziness as soon as she entered the warmth of Naya's living room. Maybe it wasn't just on their Saturday rituals that Naya's house felt like home.

The girl was talking to her from the distant bathroom and Heather could barely hear her as she quoted Lea's demands for the party. Without thinking, her feet took her to the bathroom's door frame, where the sight of Naya was granted once more.

The robe ended on her thighs, barely covering anything but the torso. It was sealed tight, as if Naya had tugged it harshly before letting Heather in. She noticed she was staring and moved her eyes to the reflection in the mirror. The other girl was focusing solely on applying makeup, but Heather could tell the hint of a blush creeping up her neck.

"What were you saying?"

"Lea changed the theme. It's a girls and gays party. No boyfriends allowed."

"Girls and gays? That sounds silly."

"Why? Anyway, considering most of our guy friends are gay, it's more like a matchmaking party. Are you bringing dancers for Telly?"

"Paul and Ted might show up."

Naya hummed in approval, remembering just how good looking both of them were. It made Heather irrationally jealous. She didn't chastise herself for it, though. Her job was to be nice about Nate; she was still allowed to hate everyone else.

"What are you thinking?" Naya asked, amusement lacing her tone.

"I'm thinking that theme is sort of misogynistic. It only works for single guys. It's like hook up free zone for them, but like… the girls are doomed. Lea didn't think this through."

"Unlike you, who are giving it a lot of thought." Naya noted, turning to Heather. "And only straight girls are doomed. There is always room for lady loving."

When her words finally hit them, they both chuckled awkwardly and looked away.

"And why do you worry? You're set." Naya added nonchalantly.

"The same could be said about you."

"But I'm not worrying." Naya pointedly answered.

Heather cleared her throat, shifting against the doorframe.

"And I was half joking. It will be more of a pajama party. But instead of pajamas, we have alcohol."

"Hmmm, will we have a pillow fight?" Heather suggested brazenly, slapping Naya's hip.

Her hand burned with the gesture and she quickly withdrew.

"Have you forgotten? I'm dangerous in pillow combat."

Heather did remember how aggressive Naya got when they were shooting the pillow fight scene for the New York episode. But she also clearly remembered how it wasn't her strength that made her fall out of bed. That stripy dress was evil.

"Oh, this time it won't be me doing down." Heather announced. "Unless you plan on wearing that robe all night."

The words were out before she could stop them. And it if it wasn't bad enough that she had just mentioned the robe, her whole speech sounded much more sexual than she had intended. Naya snorted in a shocked, somehow amused, but still very disturbed way.

"Forget what I said. That sounded so wrong. I didn't mean it like that." Heather quickly apologized, stepping back as if a little space between them would help clear the air.

"It was funny." Naya said with the most unconvincing smile, earning a snicker from the blonde.

"I'm going to watch TV while you get ready."

After receiving a nod from the brunette, Heather returned to the living-room, letting let her body fall heavily on the couch. Rolling her eyes at her own antics, she pressed her wrists against her forehead. It would be a long night.

**5:00 pm**

"I'm ready!"Naya announced before she came into view.

Wearing fitted white jeans and grey pumps, along with a black top under her usual black leather jacket, Naya looked exquisitely beautiful. Her legs were hypnotizing when she walked showcasing every curve in astonishing detail. Long black locks fell on delicate shoulders as she crossed the living room, purse in hand.

When Heather didn't move to stand up or said a word, Naya looked down at herself self-consciously, before her brain registered that when Heather watched her like that it was never a bad sign.

Clearing her throat, Naya asked, "Wanna get going?"

"S-sure." Heather replied, finally aware of her own quietness.

"You look great, by the way." She noted in passing, walking to the entrance, making Naya smile candidly.

The drive went by quickly and in a comfortable silence, only interrupted by their uncoordinated singing over the chorus of the songs playing. When they arrived, Heather found a parking spot easily. They walked the short distance to Lea's apartment, commenting on how lucky she was to have found such a place.

It was peaceful and green, and the neighborhood seemed like a university dorm since everyone looked about the same age. It made it much easier for Lea to have her parties without the police being called for her typical abuse of the stereo.

"Girls, you're here!" Lea practically shrilled as she opened the door.

"Was she expecting us not to come?" Heather playfully whispered before being enveloped by a crushing hug from the tiny brunette.

"Everyone's upstairs on the roof. So go join them, I'm just gathering a few snacks."

"Don't you want help?" Naya asked glancing to the kitchen.

"No, Kevin's already helping me. Go ahead."

"Of course, Kevin had to be on top of the snacks department." Naya joked, sharing a look with Heather before they crossed the hall that led to the roof's staircase.

When they reached the stairs both girls stopped, motioning for the other to go first.

"Go on." Heather insisted, pushing Naya lightly.

As soon as the brunette started climbing the steps, Heather felt her eyes being pulled to the one place she had avoided until now.

"Wow." She muttered under her breath so softly it escaped Naya's ears.

The perfectly rounded ass distracted her enough to miss a step and Heather winced as her knee hit the wooden staircase.

Naya looked back giggling. "Graceful."

"Shut up." Heather spat back pushing Naya's back.

"Stop eyeing my ass or you'll break your back."

Naya's tone was so carefree and to the point that Heather could do nothing but snort awkwardly.

"I hadn't even noticed it." She blatantly lied, earning a knowing glance from Naya when they reached the platform.

Heather opened the heavy metal door and they walked out, greeted by Cory, Telly and Jenna.

Lea joined them with Kevin shortly after, with two trays filled with candy, a wide variety of salty appetizers and a jar of something very pink. As the hostess explained, it was watermelon juice. Heather took one glass and moaned her approval making the others laugh.

"That's a lot of excitement for just some juice." Telly began.

"It's especially good because it's natural juice." Lea added proudly.

"Can I try it?" Naya asked, moving closer to Heather.

Their hands grazed, making them both smile slyly. It didn't go unnoticed by Telly, who grabbed an empty glass pushing it against Naya's forearm.

"You can have your own glass."

Naya turned to him, already taking a sip of Heather's cup. His warning look made her shrug innocently.

"Hmmm, it really is amazing." Naya announced, taking the empty glass Telly was still holding out for her. "I'm going to have some."

Heather extended her glass to Telly with a smirk. "Want to try it, Casper?"

"Casper?" He asked, accepting the offer.

"Yeah, 'cause you keep shadowing." She whispered.

Naya couldn't help a chuckle when Telly choked on the drink, shocked with Heather's bluntness. They watched her retreating figure as she joined Cory and Kevin who were admiring the view.

It didn't take long for more people to arrive. Little groups of people gathered around the rooftop as more trays were brought upstairs. Kevin set up a little DJ booth, which consisted of two armchairs facing each other where he set his iPod dock with a playlist meticulously created by both him and Lea. Soft tunes flowed through the easy conversation and laughter as they enjoyed the last of that afternoon's sun. When the breeze picked up, only a few of them stayed to watch the sunset.

Heather was sitting on a yoga mat with Jenna, while the others sat on beach chairs. Kevin, Dianna and Naya already had cocktails in hand, whereas Jenna and Heather were finishing the watermelon juice that had turned out to be a huge success.

"I really love this place." Jenna commented looking around. "I'm so jealous of her house."

"It really is great." Dianna agreed with a lopsided grin. "But your house is so cute too."

"Exactly, cute. It's too small. It's a single person's hut."

Kevin barked out a laugh, nudging Jenna. "Someone wants to take the next step and move in with the boyfriend?"

Jenna smiled widely, blushing slightly. "Who wouldn't want that. It's wonderful to wake up next to the one you love."

Among the "awws", Heather gulped heavily, finding Jenna's eyes searching hers.

"You must be in heaven right now."

And just like that all eyes were on her.

"It's different for everyone." She answered simply.

"True, but it must be so refreshing after so long not being able to be together whenever you wanted to."

"You should do it." Heather said honestly. "You're in love, so it's the right choice for you."

"Aww, look at you two." Kevin intervened, watching them.

Heather smiled at him, successfully ignoring everyone else. This wasn't the place or the time to come out with the truth behind her new living arrangements. Maybe omitting and avoiding was a form of lying, but she wasn't about to start a therapeutic discussion with the group. That was the burden of spending so much time with the same group of people. They were like family, but also noisy like any grandmother she had ever met.

Her resistance didn't last long enough to miss the look on Naya's face. She had glanced at the brunette, who was snuggled between Dianna and Kevin as if they were sharing one seat. Her eyes were set on her bright orange cocktail, swirling the cherry inside. Even though she had a soft smile put in place, as if day dreaming, there was a gloomy shine on brown orbs. It brought a single memory to Heather's mind, but she killed it right away standing up to get more pistachios.

She was about to return to the group when Naya's purse started buzzing next to her. Naya looked back when the ring reached her ears and seeing Heather next to the purse, she pointed to it.

"Would you mind?"

Heather opened it and took the phone out catching a glimpse of the preview. It was Nate. Nate was texting her. Without showing any signs of having seen it, she took it to Naya, merely glancing at her friend as she read it. Her expression was blank as her eyes surveyed the text before starting to type a quick reply.

"Someone important?" Jenna asked, when Naya hesitated, her fingers hovering over the touch screen.

Nosy, Heather repeated in her head, still avoiding Naya's face.

"No one special."

Heather's eyes jumped up at the sound. Maybe Naya was better at omitting, but she had sounded so sincere and carefree when she shrugged off Jenna's interest. An unrelenting smile crept up the blonde's face as much as she tried to fight it. When Dianna saw it, her brow creased and with a discreet shift, she glanced at Naya's phone. Her mouth fell open slightly, but enough for the dancer to notice. The other blonde quickly masked her surprise, and instead threw Heather a look.

"That's a smile I don't see often." She noted, continuing even as Heather glared at her. "What's the cause of that sudden outburst of happiness?"

"There's no outburst."

Even though Heather denied it, Naya had joined Dianna, and now both girls were fixated on her as if trying to read a blurred page.

"Will you two stop with the stares?"

Jenna and Kevin looked on clearly lost but still finding it funny. Just then Telly walked in and Heather had to swear internally.

_He seems to have a radar stuck on his…_

"My gaydar is so acute." He announced majestically.

"How so?" Naya asked, finally giving up on Heather.

"This is a 'girls and gays' party right?"

"That's what we heard."

"Well, guess who decided to join? Francesco."

"Nooo." The three brunettes and Dianna replied in unison.

"Yeees." Telly confirmed, standing against the railing. "Are you not surprised, Heather?"

"Not really."

"Well, you do know a bunch of gay men." Then with a pause that Heather knew meant nothing good, he added. "Or I guess closeted gays recognize each other more easily."

The whole group let out a strangled shriek before falling into heavy silence. Heather felt a wave of rage burst inside her while looking at Telly. She was beyond tired of his jabs at her. She could barely remember a time when his jokes about her weren't of the passive aggressive kind. She stood up on instinct, facing him, ready to say something nasty enough to make him back off for a good couple of years.

As if sensing it, Naya reached forward, her hand brushing the back of Heather's knee. It was a simple touch, but Heather could hear the "please don't" attached to it. And looking at her friend, she could also see the apology in her eyes.

It wasn't a secret to anyone that Telly's ill-advised humor had started during the time when Naya and Heather had _suddenly_ drifted apart. Not even Heather was oblivious to that. But now watching her friend, she knew she deserved it. Maybe it wasn't his business, but since when had Heather stepped back whenever anyone hurt Naya? _Like I'm one to talk_. Naya shouldn't be looking at her like that. If anyone should, it was Heather.

Turning to Telly again, her rage was all but gone. And when she spoke, breaking the short silence that seemed to have lasted years, she did it honestly.

"Maybe liars recognize each other easily. I'm glad his lie is over now."

And with that she left. Not to make an exit, or escape any further comments, just because her eyes were watering and as much as she needed the fresh air, she needed alone time much more.

**9:21 pm**

When Heather returned to the rooftop, she found Dianna and Naya sitting on the wooden bench on the far right, facing the view. The smoke flew around them in waves before disappearing in the pitch black sky. Heather walked to them, the door coming to a close behind her. The soft click caught the other blonde's attention.

"Heeey…" she greeted in a long whispered tune that had Naya following her stare back to the intruder.

Naya widened her eyes slightly, bringing her out-stretched hand out of view. But Heather had already seen the fag between her fingers. She joined them, leaning against the rail, her back to the sight of city lights.

"I thought you had quit." She noted softly, lacking judgment apart from her sad smile.

Dianna glanced at Naya with a soft smile, gripping her arm comfortingly before standing up.

"I'm going to let the wives sort this revelation out." She joked holding a pink colored drink in her hand.

She touched Heather's arm lightly in a form of goodbye before retracing the blonde's steps to the door and leaving the two alone. Heather threw her a questioning look, feeling like she was missing a hint, but Dianna never looked back.

As her eyes fell back to the brunette, she noticed for the first time how tired she looked, gazing at the smoldering of her cigarette as if Heather wasn't there. Probably feeling her stare, the shorter girl looked up with an apologetic smile.

Heather smiled back, letting her know she wasn't about to give her a hard time about it. Naya averted her eyes, shaking under the cold breeze.

The blonde turned around and walked her way back to the table, returning with Naya's jacket in hand. The brunette took it from her with a tight lipped grin that finally reached her eyes.

"I thought you only smoked on bad days."

"True." The brunette said simply, looking back at Heather before motioning to the empty seat. "Join me."

Heather did as told, leaving no space between them as she molded herself into Naya's side holding her right arm within hers.

"I thought you were pretty happy, lately." The blonde continued after a long pause.

Naya hummed, letting her head fall on top of Heather's as the blonde pressed her cheek against the brunette's shoulder.

"He smoked so I couldn't resist lighting up myself. Now it's hard to go back."

"I knew I would find a justifiable reason not to like him."

Naya chuckled.

"If you didn't, it wouldn't be for lack of trying."

Heather felt a pang of embarrassment and guilt in her chest for being so obvious. She straightened up to say something, but as Naya turned her head to face her, the words escaped her. Looking at that gentle face so close, Heather could only smile and try her best to contain the dreading impulse to shorten the distance between their mouths. As the awareness of this constant desire, endlessly denied, kicked in, her eyes descended to the plumped lips so near her thinner ones. Naya's eyes reflected Heather's route and in an instant Heather felt herself move further. She inclined her head and left a firm peck on the girl's cheek. She let it last, lingering, trying to imprint her unspoken wishes on that one touch. Naya smiled, a dimple forming under Heather's mouth. A single tear fell on her lips and as soon as she tasted the salt, she moved back meeting brown eyes questioningly. Naya exhaled a long breath, her eyes drifting to the view.

"Naya…" Heather whispered, waiting for some sort of answer.

Her heart was breaking at the sight of her friend. She wanted to end that sudden sadness, to put a smile back on her face. She wanted to wipe the tears away and kiss her relentlessly. But right then Ashley's words hit her with new meaning. It seemed that whenever Heather was around for too long, Naya's happiness was crushed. In that moment, a new sort of panic hit her.

"It's just allergies, don't worry." Naya's voice finally came, and the lie was so blatant it made Heather cringe.

She moved to leave, but Naya tugged her arm closely, looking at her.

"I'm just tired. You don't need to leave."

Heather was still uncertain. But now, more than ever, all she wanted was to be a good friend. She ran her head for something to say.

"For two perfectly happy girls, we act like we're miserable."

Even after her best attempt, her words seemed utterly hopeless and she felt stupid for even trying. A soft laugh made its way through Naya's lips, surprising Heather.

"It's depressing how true that is."

Heather knew that look. She knew the bittersweet tone that laced the raspy voice of the gorgeous Latina. And this time when she tried to keep the associations from her mind it wasn't to ignore the burning truth in her own heart, it was to keep the pain from Naya's.

"You deserve to be happy. There's no one else in this world I wish happiness more than you."

Naya pressed her lips together as her eyes closed tightly shut.

"You're too sweet."

"I hate seeing you like this. Please tell me what's bothering you and I swear I'll try to fix it."

The honesty and eagerness in Heather's tone, made the girl smile. But she still didn't say anything.

"What's wrong, Nay?"

Naya breathed in, her mind seemed distant and she hesitated for quite a while before finally giving in.

"I guess I feel ungrateful. I have a lot of good stuff going on, but I'm still not as happy as I think… and as other think I should be."

The blonde nodded even knowing Naya couldn't see it. And for the first time in a long time she knew exactly what to say.

"I have found that trying to please other people when it comes to your own happiness, ends up being the cause of a lot of pain. And not just for you. It spreads… like a plague. And it makes you feel even crappier to be the reason for all that… mess."

Naya's heavy breathing went unnoticed by Heather, but the look she gave her was fully noted. Naya was listening to her as if the rest of the world had just disappeared. It gave the blonde a sense of relief and the words flowed effortlessly.

"So, as much as you care about other people – and you should –, remember that no one but yourself can tell you what makes you happy. And as long as you know what that something is, you're good. You have nothing to worry about."

Naya nodded slowly, her world unbalanced at hearing such appeasing words from the last person she thought she would hear them from.

"I totally shocked you with my wisdom, hum?" Heather joked, arousing a genuine laugh from the brunette.

"Come on." Holding Naya's arm firmly, Heather made them stand up. "Enough with the mope fest. We're way too hot to be brooding on this rooftop."

Heather let her eyes roam free up and down Naya's body.

"Seriously. Way too hot."

Naya cracked up again, slapping Heather's arm.

"Ok. Let's go." She agreed, throwing the burn out fag out of the roof.

"Rivers!" Heather shrieked, grabbing Naya's hand that was now empty. "So you're not only a walking ashtray but a litterbug?"

"It's just one tiny fag." Naya justified with the most innocent expression. "Lea assured me they have the best street cleaners out here. I'm sure they'll take care of it."

"So you'll have them pick up your trash, is that it? Aren't we a dirty-ass diva?"

Heather used Naya's hand to slap the brunette's ass.

"Stop!" Naya whined through giggles.

A wave of loud laughter broke through the door making both girls turn towards it. They fully expected a group to barge in, before they noticed the sound was much more distant. The party was getting rowdy. As they realized this, the sound of dance music drowned the voices. It wasn't loud enough to wake up the neighborhood. You needed to be quiet to distinctly listen to it, but the soft bass was enough to make Heather's body buzz with energy.

"Dance with me." The blonde asked, extending her hand towards the brunette with an innocent smile playing on her lips.

Naya laughed and reached for Heather's hand tugging it, but leaving a good distance between them.

"We already dance practically every day."

Heather stepped closer but not like so many other times. She wasn't flirting or prowling as her body neared Naya's. Her face looked almost childlike with wide blue eyes and a content grin.

"I know, but that's as our characters. I just want to dance with my friend."

And Naya believed her. So grabbing Heather's other hand they started swaying. It was gentle and they couldn't help giggling at how off beat they were. On impulse, Naya let go of Heather's hands and interlaced her own fingers behind the dancer's neck. It brought Heather closer to her and, even though the proximity didn't go unnoticed by them, it didn't break the comfortable atmosphere they had fallen into.

It wasn't unusual for them to be so at ease around each other. But it never lasted long. Maybe dancing with each other came so naturally to them because that's all they had ever done. They danced with the line of friendship until it broke them. And when broken they danced with the past until some sort of relationship was revived.

Now, Naya wasn't sure what the dance was at all. Her fear was that they would fall into old patterns. That the closer they got as friends, the closer they were to that same old dance. What she feared the most was that part of her still wished for it. But maybe now that Heather had completely moved on, to a point where honesty was back in their inconstant friendship, maybe now it would be possible to stop dancing.

Heather made her twirl before bringing her back to her arms with a joyful grin that caused Naya's chest to warm. This was the best kind of dance for them. And this kind she wished she would never have to live without.

* * *

><p><em>Author's note: To those following this story my sincerest apologies. I really didn't plan on leaving this without updates for so long. I started writing this chapter as soon as I finished the last one, but then finals got in the way along with personal stuff that simply murdered my inspiration. Your reviews brought it back to life and for that I'm eternally grateful. So, if you still haven't given up on this, enjoy. And know that I'm incredibly grateful to have you.<em>

_A very special thank you to **Dante's Keep** and **mynileyworld **for their awesome and kind words. You really helped build up some of the lost confidence. And also _**PaperRomance**_ thank you so much for waiting so patiently :)_

_At last, to answer some questions: I won't add Matt. I know using real life situations make the story more realistic, and I have something planned but it doesn't involve him. As for Naya liking Nate, what I meant to do was to sort of explain a small part of what Heather went through with Taylor. I thought it was a good way to relate a bit more to Heather's past mistakes. In my opinion, sometimes you can meet someone you like, that can brighten up your day, someone that doesn't have the power to make your heart hurt, but that can make you smile. That someone makes you feel safe, but doesn't make you fall in love. And there's also many cases of people falling out of love but staying in a relationship because their accustomed to it. Safety can be quite entrapping._


	11. Chapter 11

**Once again, I'm sorry it took me so long. I definitely need to buy a new computer. I hope you enjoy this chapter that will end the night at Lea's. From now on, things will change for both our girls. This is sort of a conclusion to everything that happened up until now.**

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><p><strong>11. When you sing<strong>

**10:00 pm**

When they got downstairs, they were blinded by the neon lights that had apparently been set in the middle of Lea's living room. The music was deafening and the air felt cramped, but you could feel the excitement in your bones just by walking in.

Naya and Heather joined the crowd of familiar faces, dancing freely and without pretense. Lea jumped to Heather's arms and they hugged tightly, the inebriated state of the brunette transferring to the blonde as if she had been drinking too.

Telly looked at her in the midst of people and made its way through them until he was facing both girls. Lea jumped from Heather's arms to Jenna's, in her usual over the top displays of affection.

When Heather looked at Telly, he moved to grab her shoulders and mouthed an "I'm sorry" that felt as honest as it was simple. The blonde smiled at him, and let him envelop her in a bone crushing hug.

"Come on, old man. Let's dance." She whispered against his ear, not sure if he had heard her until he pulled her for a tango just like the last time they had danced together.

The laughter erupted from her throat and she let her head fall back. She noticed a set of eyes watching her and looked to the side, catching Naya gazing at them adoringly. Heather couldn't help the grin that burst inside her and made its way to her face. She winked at her friend, the gesture not containing the surge of happiness she was feeling.

So this is what it felt like. It had been so long.

**10:45 pm**

Naya pulled Heather by the hand following Kevin to Lea's office. He motioned for them to sit down, Telly following closely behind and locking the door on his way in.

"What are we doing here?" Naya asked with a huge questioning smile.

Heather and Naya sat on the small couch, while Telly and Kevin went through a cabinet as if they had done it a thousand times before.

"This is where Lea hides her precious treasures." Telly explained, standing up next to Kevin who had all but entered the cabinet, kneeling down.

When Kevin reemerged, he had a box in one hand and a hookah dangerously hanging in the other.

Heather gasped, excited with the prospect.

"What's in the box?" the blonde asked.

"Lea's stash!"

Naya clapped her hands at this, while the boys sat on the floor in front of them.

When Kevin opened the box all the girls saw was a pile of old photographs.

"Oh believe me," Telly started. "Even the pictures will get you high."

Kevin laughed bobbing his head in agreement as he passed the photographs to Naya's awaiting hands.

"Should we be doing this?" Heather asked, before leaning in to Naya's side to catch a glimpse of the pictures. "I mean going through her… Oh my God!"

Her hesitance was cut short as soon as looked at the first picture. Four girls were rounding that same hookah, only instead of taking a drag, they were kissing. Naya flipped the pictures and it soon became clear that they were holding the scandalous proof of Lea's old wild parties. Truth or dare, strip poker, skinny dipping… Even though none of the pictures was too exposing, it spiked their imagination to fill in the blanks. Heather and Naya shared a shocked look, not because they weren't aware of those times, but for being able to see it. And they weren't about to deny how hot it looked.

Kevin and Telly's laughter broke their glance and they finally realized they were being watched.

"Hot, right?" Kevin excitedly asked. "And don't worry, Lea knows we know about her safe haven."

"Does she know we are here, right now?"

"Well, sort of. I asked her if we could, but she only laughed and downed her drink. And then screamed for me to keep it a secret. I took that as a 'yes'." Kevin explained, helping Telly get everything ready.

Naya was still studying the pictures. Heather smirked at her, but the brunette's eyes didn't even glance her way. She leaned closer again as Naya moved to the next photograph, where Lea stood in a nurse outfit while a vampire girl licked her neck. The next picture showed them kissing in the background, with a clueless guy posing with a beer bong.

Heather's eyes searched for Naya's, who this time returned the look. They were silent, just looking at each other. When Heather gulped tensely she saw her action reflected on the girl facing her.

Her eyes dropped to the soft neck just inches away. Heather licked her lips and unconsciously crossed her legs, before a nudge on her foot brought her back from her reverie.

Telly was watching them but he simply said, "It's ready."

Heather heard Naya softly clear her throat and couldn't help a smile.

She watched Kevin take the first drag. A wave of white smoke left his lips, slowly spreading through the room. It smelled amazing, like strawberries. Telly took a drag himself before passing it on to Heather. She was about to take a drag when she stopped.

"Wait, is there weed in this? I shouldn't. I need to drive Naya home."

She missed the adoring smile on the brunette's lips as Telly explained the effect wore off very fast. Apparently Lea had found this on an organic smart shop so it wasn't that strong to begin with. And it did smell wonderful, just like a regular hookah.

Heather relented and took a long puff, releasing the smoke in one slow exhale.

"That's hot." Kevin noted yet again, already feeling drowsy.

"Definitely." Naya whispered back.

Heather turn to her with a confident smile, taking one last drag before passing it to her. While Naya inhaled, Heather watched her. She held her breath, her eyes never leaving Naya's in silent understanding. When Naya was done she got closer to the blonde, who mimicked her movement and they exhaled. Standing mere inches apart, their smoke softly collided, reverberating on their lips before the white fumes surrounded them.

Heather grinned watching her friend's mouth in a mix of playfulness and longing. It had been years since they last smoked together, and they hadn't done this since that first year. It had started as a joke to look sensual, but the soft caress of the smoke hitting their lips was much like a kiss. The softest of pecks. That's the reason Heather had started doing it repeatedly, and the sensation was more than she could have wished for right now. The fact that Naya was looking at her in that half embarrassed, half seductive way – just like before – made a familiar heat rise up on her stomach and engulf her chest.

"This feels familiar." Heather managed to say.

"I hadn't seen that in a long time." Telly noted, in what almost sounded like a nostalgic tone.

"Smoke kisses." Naya said so lowly it was barely there.

Heather felt a pang in her chest as a shiver ran through her body. She smiled so broadly it felt like her face would rip apart.

"My turn!" Kevin interrupted, pulling the hose back. "But I'm not doing that with you!" He finished bumping Telly's arm.

The four laughed lightly. Heather was still in a daze, absentmindedly watching the water gurgle with a foolish grin plastered on her lips.

Her mind soon drifted, not bearing any thoughts but the ones she would speak up impulsively.

"So… explain me this." Heather started, looking at the boys. "If this is a 'girls and gays' party, does that make Cory and Darren gay too?"

The all laughed soundly, but it was a slightly buzzed Telly that answered.

"Lea says the Glee cast doesn't follow any rules. Glee cast is always allowed."

"And that means you too, boo! You're like one of us!" Naya excitedly added.

"And he's gay! You've got a double invitation." Kevin continued with wide eyes.

"Look who's talking!" Telly snorted amusingly. "And Glee is pretty gay by itself."

"We are the gayest!" Heather exclaimed with her fist up in the air.

Naya chuckled loudly, grabbing Heather's arm before putting on her best Santana face.

"Hmhm, that's right girl. Wez be gay!"

Kevin was deliriously amused at this point, reclining back, rolling with laughter.

Even though she felt very similar to Brittany most of the time, Heather found it harder to get in character as fast as Naya did, so she just raised her eyebrows suggestively and said. "I'm bilingual."

From that point on everything seemed hilarious and the laughter escalated until it was hard to breathe, much less smoke, with the pain in their stomachs.

"Should we just hide it and clean it up later?" Kevin suggested when the hookah was almost done.

"The least we can do is clean up for ourselves." Naya said standing up. "Don't be lazy, bee!"

"I'll clean this up." Telly offered.

"I'll help." Naya announced.

When Kevin and Heather were left alone in the room, he started pointing out random objects in Lea's office. She was still a little unfocused, so when a hyper Kevin started throwing things at her she could barely move enough to protect herself.

"Show me those reflexes!" He prompted her enthusiastically.

"Are you crazy? Stop it!" Heather whined before being quickly shut up by a hard kick to her forehead.

Luckily her hand eased the impact, but it did nothing to save the object from a strong fall. Her wince wasn't loud enough to muffle the cracking sound that jerked their eyes to the floor.

Kevin's panicked cry startled Heather. He flew to the ground grabbing it, his face wrenched with concern.

"Right, worry about the damn doll. My head is just fine." She sarcastically commented, when the pain really started bothering her.

"It's not a doll." Kevin whined, coming to his feet with a headless figure. "It's Lea's Oscar!"

"What?" Heather asked confused. "Lea didn't win an…"

"…The one she made when she was three! She takes this everywhere! It's made of clay and she painted it gold and she polishes it every year!"

Heather wasn't sure what sounded crazier: the way Kevin was talking about the clay doll, or the fact that Lea polished it. But then the most relevant information kicked in. She had made it when she was three. People were sentimental about this kind of stuff. Lea was extra sentimental about this kind of stuff.

"What's going on here?"

They both jerked around hiding the headless figure, until relief flooded them at the sight of Naya.

"Heather broke the Oscar!"

"What?!" Heather turned to Kevin looking offended.

Naya seemed lost and entertained at the same time.

"He's right. I broke the Oscar… with my _head_! After he threw it at me!"

Naya finally registered what was going on and closed the door behind her in a frenzy.

"You broke the clay Oscar?!"

"He did." Heather insisted.

"Show me!"

When Kevin did, Naya gasped covering her mouth.

"You beheaded it!" She whispered in a mournful tone that made Heather crack up.

"Don't laugh. She's going to kill me." Kevin shrilled, looking seriously nervous. "Now what?"

"Go get glue. The super strong one. Telly knows where everything is so he'll find it."

"Ok!" Kevin complied, as if Naya's orders were coming from a general.

When he left the room, Naya set the statue on the desk behind her and looked back at Heather.

"You broke it with your head?" Naya asked, not keeping the grin from her face.

"You think it's funny?" Heather complained, touching her forehead with a pained look. "It hurt like hell."

Naya neared her and used her hand to push Heather's away. The sight of the petite brunette (not so petite in those grey pumps), inspecting her forehead so closely made it incredibly hard to breathe. It was probably best that way, anyhow. Since all Heather could smell was the scent that was so Naya mixed with the strawberry aroma left by the hookah.

"It's going to leave a bruise." Naya noted, frowning when watching the redness on white skin.

"See?"

Naya's eyes drifted downwards to meet Heather's. She bit her lip in an apology before lifting her face to press a soft peck against the bruise.

The touch of her lips sent an alarming wave of heat down Heather's body. It was confusing how the shivers could feel so cold they made her shake, but she still felt like she was burning inside. Not prepared for that turmoil, Heather grabbed Naya's arms firmly, as if to steady herself. It seemed to alert Naya to what she was doing, so the girl quickly stood back. She didn't go far since Heather's firm grip wouldn't let her. Blue eyes were staring at brown ones intensely, when Kevin barged in, tube in hand.

"I've got it! I've got it!"

Heather immediately let go of Naya, who nonchalantly turned to grab the broken statue as if nothing had happened. She held both pieces and gave them to Kevin to prepare the glue. His nervous hands kept spoiling Naya's meticulous attempts to fix it, so Heather cut in, holding it for her. Naya applied the glue and looked to Heather to signal she could press the head back on. Heather was distracted by Naya's eyes for one second too long and before they knew it, Lea had joined them.

"Guuuuys, I miss you! Stop smoking! Let's party!"

Her eyes fell on Heather's hands and she gasped, nearing the dancer quickly. Naya had masterfully hidden the tube of glue and was now staring at Heather in panic.

"Pretty cool toy!" Heather started, holding it together firmly but away from Lea's prying hands.

"It's not a toy. It's my Oscar! I made it when I was three." Lea quickly informed. "But why are you playing with it? Give it back! I don't want that out there in case somebody breaks it."

The muffled cry that erupted from Kevin's throat would be enough to blow their cover, if it wasn't for Naya's quick thinking.

"I know. I was telling them precisely that. But Heather was absolutely enamored by your craft."

Heather stepped on Naya's foot, albeit animatedly nodding in agreement. For a 3 year old, it wasn't bad. But to say anyone would be enamored by it was a stretch.

Naya elbowed Heather trying to keep from laughing.

"You were?"

Heather could tell it wasn't yet glued firmly enough, so she decided to stall.

"Definitely. It's amazing that you could do this at such a young age. The detail is just…" Her eyes focused on the figure, barely visible under her grip. "Fantastic. I'm getting nervous just touching it."

Thank goodness for Lea's drunkenness or she would have figured it out by now. The whole conversation couldn't sound faker. Kevin was still hiding behind Lea, looking pale as a ghost, while Naya's face grew hotter the more she tried to fight her grin. Looking at both brunettes, Heather thought a little revenge was in order.

"Actually, we were reenacting the Oscar's ceremony and I was just about to hand it over to Naya for her to do her speech."

Naya glared at her, but it was more amusing than it was menacing.

"Go on, now. Take it."

Lea turned to Naya expectantly, apparently fascinated with the idea.

Naya stepped closer to Heather trapping both her hands between her own and erupted in violent over-the-top sobs.

"I-I can't believe it. I can't believe this is happening. It must be a dream..."

Letting go of Heather's hands, she wiped inexistent tears.

"I want to thank the Academy…"

"This is pathetic!" Lea pulled the statue out of Heather's tight grip.

The three gasped which made Lea eye them suspiciously, the toy miraculously holding itself together just like before.

"Stop masturbating to my Oscar and make your own." She said, locking it inside her cabinet. "Can we dance now?"

**12:39 am**

Heather was sitting on one of Lea's couches in what she called "the art room". Despite the aching of her body and her tired limbs, she was jumping in her seat as soon as Naya agreed to sing the last song of Darren's impromptu concert.

Even after agreeing, it took her a while to choose a song, finally whispering it on Darren's ear.

It was just the three of them now and Naya sat cross legged in front of the coffee table, a few steps away from the blonde. Darren was sitting at the piano, waiting for her signal. When she nodded he started playing, surprising Heather by how skillfully his fingers moved hitting every note.

Until now, he had been playing the guitar just as flawlessly.

Heather's eyes moved to the brunette, impatiently waiting for the lyrics to start. Naya smiled at her before locking her eyes on the floor, her jaw hardening right before she started.

"Oh, you can hear me cry

See my dreams all die

From where you're standing

On your own."

She was huskier than usual, maybe because she had been smoking a while before, or maybe it was the song gaining life inside of her. Her whole demeanor had changed and all Heather knew was that her insides were burning. Her heart quickened its pace, and she couldn't stop staring even as her eyes watered at the sight. Naya's sorrowful expression added impact to the words flowing out of her mouth.

"It's so quiet here

And I feel so cold

This house no longer

Feels like home."

The lyrics were punching her gut, as if just by being uttered aloud they held power over her. It hit home and Heather knew her knuckles were turning white from the force with which she gripped her knees. Her muscles hurt under the strong grasp of her own hands but the pain didn't bother her. All she could feel was the tightness in her chest.

The shivers running through her body made her skin crawl, and the blonde couldn't think of a day when a song had had such effect on her. Her lips turned up in a smile as a memory resurfaced. She had felt this before, in a very different occasion, with only one common element: the singer. But this wasn't like listening to Naya sing "Songbird", because here they were just them, and even if Naya wasn't facing her, even if Naya wasn't singing for her, Heather's body reacted like she was. Most of all, her heart did.

"Oh, when you told me you'd leave…"

Heather gasped inaudibly. She noticed the change. She noticed and she couldn't erase it.

"I felt like I couldn't breathe

My aching body fell to the floor"

A single tear made its way down Naya's cheeks and at that moment Heather broke. Her flustered cheeks were covered by a sudden, silent tear fall that despite its quietness made brown eyes find hers. It still stunned her how acute Naya was, like she could feel Heather's pain in her bones; even when Naya herself was in pain. Brown eyes met Heather's tears and when more followed, she paused. It was barely noticeable, but Darren caught on, repeating the note as Naya looked away and continued.

"Then I called you at home

You said that you weren't alone

I should've known better

Now it hurts much more."

Heather pressed her lips together, her hands giving her knees a rest to wipe away the stray tears. She knew she was shaking and the tremors only increased when Naya's eyes scanned her body.

"You caused my heart to bleed and

You still owe me a reason

Cause I can't figure out why"

The guilt ran through her veins like poison. Her throat closed and it suffocated her, but she knew she was breathing. She knew she was breathing because her lungs burned with each intake of breath. The warmth was completely gone now, as if Naya's voice had opened a door, the only wall keeping the cold outside.

"Why I'm alone and freezing

While you are in the bed that he's in

And I'm just felt alone to cry"

The guilt may have been wearing her limbs down, but her heart was jolted awake. As frozen as she felt, her mind would not be stopped. And now as she looked into brown eyes, she was more than apologizing, she was finally beginning to understand.

The memory that had hunted her earlier before came back as a movie, blocking everything else but the pained singing.

_Heather knocked on Naya's door, having just arrived from a long weekend in her hometown. She hadn't seen Naya in person ever since they shot Special Education._

_Her heart sped up when the faint noise of footsteps made its way through the door and before it had even been fully unlocked, Heather was already breathless with a mix of excitement and dread._

_When the brunette came to view, there was barely enough time for Heather to take in the sight before thin arms enveloped her neck. Heather smiled against the soft tanned skin, breathing in Naya's scent as if that was the only oxygen she knew._

_When their bodies parted, allowing Heather to actually look at her, the blonde's heart almost stopped. She was gorgeous. Wearing simple sweatpants and a white t-shirt, her hair in a bun, and glasses on, she looked naturally beautiful. If "cozy" could be used to describe someone, Heather would use it on Naya. She felt like she could nestle in her lap and stay there forever._

_The heat that engulfed her heart was suddenly broken by a jab of freezing fear. Her mother's words came back to her and a wave of nausea hit her stomach. Heather's smile, that she didn't even know was there, faltered. The brunette seemed to notice immediately._

"_What's wrong?"_

_It had been easy to ignore her mother's criticism concerning Brittany's storyline with Santana when it had just been over the phone. But it was that much harder in person._

'_I don't like my daughter playing this slutty highschool girl that is so beyond promiscuous she even gets laid with her best friend just to kill the itch. It's so wrong.'_

_The accusation felt more personal than it should have. She knew her mother was conservative, but she was also kind. Her homophobia had decreased over the years and Heather hoped one day it would be gone for good. Brittany was just a character, she wasn't even real. Heather didn't need to feel so hurt. And it wasn't a lie. Brittany was a bit promiscuous, it seemed. Not because she slept with Santana, but because she slept with the whole school. It's just a character, she kept thinking._

_What Heather didn't expect was a talk about Naya. How could she tell her best friend that her mother had reacted horribly to the rumor mill around her and Naya's relationship. Heather didn't even know how she had found all that crap, and from that day on she decided she hated the internet and everything surrounding it. Her mother made sure to show her, to advise her on how to dispel those 'crazy rumors'. And while she did so, clicking on pictures and shoving her fingers at comments, Heather could only concentrate on not crying. She felt sick to her stomach as her mother's words and reprimands entered her head. What would she think if she knew about the kisses? How disappointed would she be?_

'_Naya is too liberal.'_

'_Naya doesn't see the difference.'_

'_Naya is careless, she doesn't worry about what other people will think of her.'_

_The memory still burned in her brain and she felt embarrassed by simply remembering it. She felt guilty as if she had said it herself. And it frustrated her, more than words could say, how her mother was criticizing Naya for what was actually amazing about her._

_She defended her and their friendship. She reminded her mother that she wasn't even famous. She barely had lines not over a year ago, she didn't need to worry. But her mother wouldn't give up. She kept pressing and pressing. Heather felt exposed and her relationship with Naya felt almost violated._

_Her mother could never find out about the kisses._

_Everything Heather thought made them unique and special turned promiscuous and wrong under her mother's worry. She didn't believe it, her heart wouldn't accept it. But suddenly, knowing what she would be faced with if her mother found out made her nervous._

_It wasn't like she had to worry too much. They were just friends. And as much as she loved her mother, she couldn't let her dictate her life. She refused the suggestion to 'hang out with other people'. She already did so but she would never distance herself from Naya. That was out of the question._

_But then Taylor showed up. Heather wasn't naïve enough to think it was just a coincidence. Her mother was giving her another option, and could Heather decline it? Her mother wasn't totally wrong, after all. She wasn't that farfetched. One should trust their mothers, right?_

_Naya and she were just a little off track. They were probably just lonely and being so close they started using their bond as a way to satisfy too many of their needs._

_That could turn messy. It could cause problems in the future. Maybe her mother was right after all. Mothers are always right. Naya couldn't let the rumors affect her promising career because of Heather._

_And their relationship wouldn't change if they started compartmentalizing. It wouldn't change if they took the less friendly part of their relationship out of the equation. They were best friends. That's what they were. It wouldn't be wrong to act just like any other best friends._

"_Nothing." Heather finally muttered, feeling weak at the knees but not in a good way. "I just missed you, that's all."_

_Naya seemed to believe her, grinning widely while reaching for Heather's hands, pulling her inside the house without ever breaking eye contact. The gesture made her giggle adoringly, but the cold had already settled in her chest._

_She couldn't quite comprehend why she felt this sad; she wasn't being forced to do anything. She had to stop worrying before Naya caught on again. This wasn't something she wanted to talk about, so she ignored the gut feeling telling her she should. It just seemed irrational to feel this way. Truth was her body seemed to act abnormally around the brunette anyway._

_They moved to the living-room and Naya immediately told her hilarious stories of how she had spent the last few days. It was amazing to Heather how the girl could make her laugh until she cried, and be so incredibly captivating while talking about a weekend where she had basically done nothing._

_The carefree conversation made her forget about the weight in her chest, even though it never actually left. It was only when Naya asked about her weekend that it all came back to her._

"_My mother tried setting me up with my ex-boyfriend."_

_It was out before she could stop it._

_Naya's eyes widened in surprise and she let out a low chuckle._

"_How did that go?"_

_Heather paused for a moment trying to decide how to word it. Ever since she had spent time with him there was this heaviness following her around. She felt like she needed to talk to Naya about it, even though it didn't mean anything yet._

"_He's still cute."_

_The tender tone in Heather's voice caught Naya's attention. She was still smiling but not as broadly, and her curiosity seemed different now. Heather couldn't pinpoint the different emotion and something inside her made her feel safer ignoring it._

"_Does that mean you're interested?"_

_Even Naya's voice didn't sound like her and suddenly Heather didn't want to talk about this anymore._

"_I don't know. Maybe. But anyway… Have you watched the latest episode of…"_

"_You don't know?" Naya interrupted wearing an unreadable expression that Heather was not familiar with and found herself not liking._

_This was her best friend, but now she looked like an inscrutable therapist._

"_I mean he wants to talk more and we're going to spend some time together on Christmas. I guess we'll see."_

_Naya's face didn't change so Heather felt like she had to continue. "I mean I'm single so I guess something could happen, if I wanted to."_

_She didn't say it defensively. Her voice was soft and hesitant like a child afraid of messing up in front of a teacher. But for a fraction of a second - a moment that lasted so little Heather could have easily missed it -, Naya looked as if she had been slapped. Her face barely twisted, but her eyes changed immediately and even as she put on a smile it didn't feel warm anymore. It didn't even reach her eyes. The only light that crossed them was frighteningly similar to tears._

"_I'm not saying something will happen." Heather quickly added. "But I work so much. I don't meet anyone anymore. I don't have time to go on dates. He feels familiar, you know? Like comfortable. I don't know if I like him that way, I mean… I used to. But I don't know if I love him enough to date him again, but it was nice. Not like overwhelmingly nice, but it was nice."_

_She knew she was rambling but Naya wasn't stopping her and honestly she didn't know if she could. This conversation was making her anxious and she didn't remember ever feeling like this in front of the brunette. But her mother's nagging words were still in her mind. _

"_I wouldn't mind having a boyfriend. It would be good for me. The only romantic life I have now is as Brittany and that's so weird. I mean it's almost confusing. It shouldn't be. Glee can't be my life."_

_She was sure she wasn't saying what she meant to say. And why was she stating words that weren't hers? She meant these words as a question, she wanted Naya's opinion, but it almost looked like she had lost her in the middle of all that blabbering. Naya wasn't looking at her anymore. She was nodding at something, and simply agreed._

"_Yeah, I get it. You should do it."_

_Heather felt as if she has just tripped down the stairs. That feeling in your stomach like you're falling from a great height. But Naya had just agreed, that was a good thing, wasn't it? So her mother had a point._

_She reached for Naya's hand instinctively, but the brunette seemed sort of aloof now. It was as if Heather was having a dream, where the emotions change as randomly as the places you're at. She had never felt so lost._

"_Maybe I should do it too. Give Mark his chance after all his begging."_

_Heather contorted her face in disgust almost immediately. For the first time Naya seemed to be back, when she chuckled at seeing the blonde's look. It wasn't as if Mark was unattractive. Most would say he was pretty attractive. But the idea itself was repulsive. As if Naya had just suggested dating her own brother._

"_I don't want to talk about dates anymore." Heather stated flatly._

_Naya just exhaled, nodding wearily._

"_Me neither. Let's watch a movie."_

"You're crying." Naya croaked, as if just noticing, bringing Heather back from the past.

Watching her friend staring at her with puffy brown eyes and a bashful smile - looking both worried and hesitant under Heather's gaze -, left the dancer speechless. After all this time, after all they had been through; they were still such good friends. There was still so much love in there. How could Heather be so lucky after being so damn stupid, she asked herself?

"That was really beautiful." Darren's voice seemed to come out of nowhere.

His eyes were gentle as he smiled at them before turning to Naya. "Your voice is raw emotion."

"Thanks." Naya said somehow bashfully, her eyes glancing at Heather before they zeroed in on the floor.

"You turn my world upside down." Heather whispered, her voice cracking.

Naya's eyes were on her immediately, a questioning gaze Heather was familiar to.

"But I would take that dizziness for the…" Heather paused," straight world, anytime."

The blonde giggled, stopping herself from saying more as she wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes.

Naya watched her. She watched the way the blonde was taking long, slow breaths and how her hands shook slightly. A wave of warmth filled her chest and she stood up moving to sit next to the dancer, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Heather chuckled through a few disobedient tears, letting her body be pulled into Naya's, her head finding a comfy spot on the crook of her neck.

"You're amazing." She whispered, gripping Naya's shirt.

"Thanks." Naya spoke lowly, kissing the top of Heather's head.

The softness of Naya's touch made Heather feel both terrible and forever grateful.

"Naya Rivera, breaking hearts since 2009." Darren announced with his out stretched hands pointing at Naya.

"You're going to take over the world." Heather admitted. "I'll tell my grandkids that I used to be your best friend and they won't believe me. They'll think I'm trying to be cool."

Naya chuckled throatily, gripping the shoulders under palms, her fingers playing with a few loose strands of golden hair.

"Well, I'll show mine old episodes of Glee. By then, the quality must seem as awful to them as an old VHS seems to us. Still, they'll notice the blonde with never ending legs. That kind of hotness never loses its appeal."

Heather looked up and found Naya's eyes. There was a blush in her own cheeks but she smirked at the brunette before saying, "Is it so hard for you to be told how amazing you are without throwing a compliment back at me?"

Before Naya could answer, Darren laughed loudly joining them at the foot of the couch.

"You are both amazing. And your grandkids will totally know each other."

Naya and Heather shared a look that was both surprised and excited. It looked as if they had never considered that option before.

"And they'll lock you in the basement with all your Glee crap just so they won't have to hear about it ever again." Darren finished jokingly.

"And I'll keep asking for you to sing, but my hearing won't be that good anymore. So you'll have to sing really loudly and they'll be able to hear it upstairs." Heather continued ecstatic.

"By that time, I'll have lost my voice so it's going to sound really husky or terribly off beat."

"Well, since I'll be partially deaf I won't mind."

"You do listen to music really loudly." Darren interrupted Heather with a soft smile.

"Or you'll wear dentures and they'll fall off every time you hit a high note." Heather giddily added, ignoring Darren's comment.

Naya was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes, which made Heather's face crunch up in happiness as it always happened when she made her friend laugh like that.

"And I'll forget them everywhere because I already keep misplacing stuff. So you'll have to remind me to wear them."

When Heather started impersonating a toothless Naya, both girls doubled over in laughter.

"And being the klutz that you are, you'll dislocate a joint trying to show our grandkids some elaborate dance move."

Only Darren seemed to notice the slip of tongue. Heather was nodding veraciously, her blue eyes shining brightly with tears and her face red as fire.

"I'll walk out of the house with my cane, holding your dentures, yelling your name as you leave for the market."

When their laughter subsided, Darren sighed, looking up at the ceiling before facing both girls.

"I love to think of growing old, but isn't it weird thinking about the end of Glee? You guys were there from the start so I imagine it's even worse for you."

They turned to look at him as if only now reminded of his presence. Heather shrugged noncommittally.

"It's my life now. I love it. I don't want to think of doing the same thing my whole my life, but it will always be bittersweet." Naya eventually said.

"Very bittersweet." Darren agreed.

She realized now that Glee had never been her life, unlike she had feared. But it had given her a chance to live a happily ever after, like everyone dreams of since they're little kids. If only she had been smart enough to understand it.

"It will be really sad, but I don't worry about the future as long as I'm with the people I love." Heather shrugged.

"That's also true." Darren nodded.

Naya was watching the blonde in silence and when she spoke her voice was much quieter than before.

"You're ready to leave already, aren't you?"

The question hung in the air. Heather tried to ascertain the meaning behind Naya's words and only when the brunette averted her eyes solemnly did she finally get it.

"No. Not at all." Heather finally answered.

Naya smiled softly, keeping her eyes on the floor. She still seemed sad, and Heather wanted nothing more than to bring that contagious laughter back.

"I totally ruined the good vibe, didn't I? I'm sorry. I'll just go depress someone else now." Darren jokingly said, actually standing up and leaving when the girls remained quiet.

"The best future I can imagine is one where I can still make you laugh like today."

At this, the brunette finally seemed to smile genuinely. She looked at Heather the way you look at a child who just screwed up but at whom you can't stay mad at.

"You're so fucking adorable." Naya said through a puff of air.

Heather moved her hand to Naya's hair, allowing her fingers to play with the long locks. Naya grabbed Heather's wrist, pushing it from her hair, but before the blonde could miss the contact, her arm was being set on Naya's back, as if the girl was directing Heather to hug her. The blonde did just that, smiling against Naya's neck, breathing her after what seemed like an eternity.

Naya always smelled so sweet. But not just sweet like you get when a girl just sprayed perfume over her body, it was the kind of sweet you get when you enter a garden. Fresh and melting at the same time. That was the comparison that always popped in Heather's head when she hugged her friend. The skin of Naya's neck felt velvety soft when it brushed Heather's cheek and the blonde would have been lost in that moment if it wasn't for the fastening heartbeat that pulsed under her lips.

Slightly dazed, but very much aware of their closeness, Heather let go, failing to ignore the butterflies that burst in her stomach at knowing the effect she still had on Naya.

For a moment she thought of saying something about what she had just remembered. But nothing had changed in her life so far; wouldn't that be repeating the mistakes she had so recently apologized for? Did it make that much of a difference that now she wasn't drunk?

Naya made the decision for her by standing up, pulling Heather with her.

"Come on, the party is dying. Let's help Lea spice things up."

**Saturday, 03:05 am**

After saying their goodbyes to a very tired hostess and few party troopers who were now drunkenly playing video games, Heather and Naya left the apartment and walked back to Heather's car.

The ride home was quiet but Heather felt the most comfortable she had in a long while. With Naya by her side, even without talking, there was immediate warmth surrounding her whole body, erasing every ounce of sadness.

Lea couldn't begin to imagine how grateful Heather was for this party. It was like a break to refill, to get back her strength before the changes in her life started.

Naya touched Heather's hand lightly when it hovered by the car keys, just when Heather was about to kill the engine.

"You don't need to stop." Naya said, and it broke Heather a little, even if she knew it wasn't wise to prolong this night any longer. "Thank you for the ride." Naya smiled sweetly, her eyelids closing with sleep. "And everything else." She finished firmly before kissing Heather's cheek.

Heather had to let her go. She couldn't stop her now and burst out everything she had been feeling. It wouldn't be right. But she really did miss her best friend. Not just her best friend, but the person Naya had been to her so long ago. She needed that person to tell her everything would be okay, even if it wasn't. She needed those tender brown orbs to look at her without the shadows of Heather's mistakes. She needed everything she didn't know how to ask before. But knowing she couldn't have it, Heather just hugged her, locking her in her arms before Naya could leave.

And it was as if Naya knew. When Heather gripped her so urgently, Naya held her in her arms without question. Her hands making soft patterns on Heather's back before moving to blonde hair. Naya's soft fingers seemed to mend her broken heart, giving her a sense of security like she had never experienced before. But it wasn't like Taylor; it wasn't that kind of safety. It was so much more. Like Heather was invincible, like nothing could stop her as long as those fingers were threaded in her hair.

When Heather's grip subsided, Naya moved to look at her, her hands holding Heather's face gently. Naya didn't say anything, she didn't pressure for answers. She simply looked at the blonde tenderly.

"Goodnight." Heather whispered.

Naya didn't leave the car until she had hugged Heather once more, leaving a kiss on her temple with the softest words whispered against her skin, "I'm here if you need me."

And with that in her mind, Heather drove home.

She was ready.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: In the beginning I use Italics for flashbacks. For the second part of the chapter I'll use them for Heather's thoughts. I don't think it's confusing, but let me know if you think otherwise. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

><p><strong>12. Starting over<strong>

Had it really been a month since Lea's party? It felt like it was years ago. Heather's life seemed to be caught in a whirlwind - a draining, bittersweet, ever moving whirlwind. After weeks of crying, her eyes were so dry they hurt. Her throat felt sore after so much arguing. Her heart was broken with all the anger and sadness directed at her. And yet, she had never felt so relieved. She had never been more of herself and it was refreshing, even if it was this hard.

Yes, that night had changed everything. She knew it even before she got home.

_Walking inside her house, she quickly spotted Taylor sprawled on the couch with a lazy smile on his lips._

"_Hey baby! I was waiting for you."_

_She knew that tone and it immediately sent an unpleasant shiver to her stomach. The sickness she felt made her feel even guiltier. Trying to put on a smile, she went over to the couch, but left a good distance between them._

"_Taylor," she started with motherly patience, "you're drunk."_

_He grinned harder, reaching out to pull her by the arm. Heather took a step back almost immediately, and just as fast there was a frown on his face._

"_So what? It's not like you never get drunk when you go out."_

"_I'm not judging. I just think you should get some rest. Go change and I'll take you a glass of water."_

_His grin was back on with more purpose this time. His face had never been so obvious; it was as if it was trying to scream "sex" at Heather without words. She got it. But it wasn't going to happen. He tapped the seat next to him winking at her. His eyelids seemed to fight his eagerness, though, as they kept closing despite his best attempts to stop it. The wink ended up turning into sleepy eyes over a smirk that dangled weirdly._

"_Come help me change, babe."_

"_I'm tired, Taylor. Just go to sleep."_

_She sounded so firm and uninterested that even drunk-Taylor knew he wasn't getting any, no matter how much he insisted. That gave him renewed strength to open his eyes and glare at her._

"_When are you not tired? How long as it been for fuck's sake?"_

_Heather stared at him coolly._

"_We'll talk tomorrow."_

"_No!" He shouted, before catching himself and changing his tone. "Stop being like that. You don't even have to do anything. It will be quick."_

_Heather's eyes widened and she just snorted._

"_Irresistible, but I'm serious. I'm going to sleep."_

_Taylor jumped up and grabbed her hand. His touch was soft, but his eyes threw daggers at her face._

"_What's wrong with you?"_

"_Nothing is wrong with me, Taylor."_

"_You're not normal!" He whined, apparently too tired to fight but still horny enough._

_He grabbed her hand and moved it to his groin._

"_Come on."_

_She pushed her hand away, looking at him pitifully._

"_Just like you said, we haven't had sex in a while. And we're not going to do it now just because you're drunk and horny."_

_He let go of her hand roughly._

"_I don't fucking understand!" He yelled moving to the kitchen._

_Variants of that same phrase were yelled at her before he came back holding a drink._

"_We fucked more when I didn't fucking live here."_

_Heather just stared him down, not up to having a discussion with him in such a state. If he could be hard to talk to when sober, then she really didn't want to give it a try when he was so clearly drunk._

"_Put down the beer, Taylor." She warned. "You never wanted to talk about it before, and I don't want to talk about it now. Not when you're drunk. So put the beer down and go to bed. Tomorrow, we'll talk. First thing in the morning, okay?"_

_She was trying to hold onto her frustration but keeping herself firm enough so that her guilt wouldn't show. If he noticed, he wouldn't stop pressing and they would end up having the most important conversation of their relationship, only for him to wake up and not remember a thing. It had happened before, and Heather knew she couldn't take this particular discussion twice._

"_No, it's not fucking okay."_

"_Stop being an asshole. Get your rude ass to bed." She retaliated exasperated._

"_I don't want to talk! I want my girlfriend to want to have sex with me. Isn't that normal? Isn't that a fucking requisite?"_

"_No woman wants to fuck a fucking brat." She enounced every word, looking at him pointedly. "Got that?_ _Is that vulgar enough for your drunken brain to understand?_

_She could see in his eyes that she had just fed his outburst. He would spend his energy on something. If not sex, yelling would have to do._

_Before he could, Heather started moving towards the stairs._

"_I'm not fighting with you. Put down the beer and rest. I mean it."_

_Even though her face held no room for protest, her tone was gentle. That seemed to anger him more. Taylor threw the beer to the floor watching it break with a loud crash. The smell of alcohol immediately filled her nostrils. Heather had to stop herself from going back and kicking the life out of him._

_This is what they had become._

"_Clean it up." She said wearily before leaving him to swear and shout himself to sleep._

Now as she walked out of the last house on her tour, she ticked the address on her notepad with a grin.

Taylor was still living in her house. After their break up she didn't have the heart to kick him out to one of his friends' place. As hard as it was to talk to him when his wishes weren't granted, he agreed to look for a place as quickly as possible. And until he found a new home, she would let him stay.

Obviously, Taylor was not to be trusted. And besides not even trying to find a place, he had called his family whining about the break-up. Not just that, he had the nerve to call Heather's family before she could.

Her mother practically exploded over the phone. Heather eventually went home for a visit to put an end to her incessant calls. This time, Heather would make her own decisions and would not let her fears take the best of her. Mothers weren't always right after all. Her mother wasn't to blame for trying to tell Heather what was best for her, that's what mothers do. Heather was to blame for letting her take control.

Not this time.

After that little betrayal from Taylor, Heather had practically moved in with Ashley. Not expecting a third roommate, Heather had to sleep on the couch every night – Ashley didn't have the same schedule and she felt bad waking her friend so early in the morning. But she would take the back pain every day, for the awkward tension with Taylor in her own house. It felt like a cold war. She never knew when he would attack her with accusations, or cry on her shoulder begging for forgiveness. She just knew she would rather avoid both.

His words still echoed in her mind sometimes. _"You're not giving us a chance. You're not even trying."_

But he was wrong. She had tried. She had tried too much. That's why they lasted.

Heather had cried her eyes out the morning after his drunken outburst, that morning after they finally had _the_ talk. She had held his hands, pleading for him not to hate her, trying her best to explain.

"_I love you, I do. You've been one of my best friends for years now. But we don't work. It's not just me. I see you here every day. You're not happy, either. I'm not the kind of girlfriend you want. You hate my job, you feel awkward around my friends, I feel awkward around yours. This isn't highschool anymore. We've grown apart. We don't click as a couple and you know I'm right. It was just easier when we barely saw each other. We didn't have to deal with our own crap."_

He pushed her away, screaming accusations. He punched the table, he gripped his hair, he begged for a second chance, but Heather knew better. If she had learned something after all this time, it was that it doesn't matter how much you want to make it work. If your heart isn't there, it won't ever be. And try as she might, her heart was decidedly elsewhere.

So she moved out of her own place, letting him and his anger linger there. And when realizing he wasn't making plans to leave so soon, she started looking for a place for him. Ashley kept saying how she wasn't his mother. If he didn't want to look for a place then Heather should just kick him out. Let him learn how life treats you when you behave like a child. But she couldn't bring herself to do that. She still felt guilty and maybe this was her way of saying "I'm sorry".

So far all the apartments she had seen had been a bust. Either the rent was too expensive, or the place was completely degraded, some were in the middle of nowhere, some couldn't fit a cat much less a person. She was decided to find him something suitable, and she wouldn't settle for less. Even if she had to sleep on the couch for a year.

Thankfully, after two weeks of endless searching with some help from the complainer, but always supportive, Ashley; Heather had found the perfect apartment and two plan Bs.

She got in her car and drove back home with a smile on her lips. She felt the thrill of happiness invade her. Taylor had a new place to stay, and she could finally have her life back. Also, she could finally start telling people.

She knew it was strange that none of her friends knew about her break up. She didn't plan to keep it a secret. In fact, more reasons than one made her want to tell everyone. But the process had stalled so much, and curiously people seemed to have gotten over the initial interest on her "married life" so the questions about it had stopped completely.

The fact was that the time spent at work became her safe bubble - the only place where the Taylor drama didn't follow her around. As soon as she left from work the apartment hunting would start - same on the weekends -, and the nights were spent either fighting with her family or talking to Ashley about it. She just couldn't afford to have him spoil yet another hour of her day.

Heather exhaled in exhaustion, letting the positive thinking take over again.

She had planned to meet Taylor that Sunday afternoon at her house, but she never expected to have such great news. As soon as she parked her car, she sprinted to her front door. Heather took a moment to compose and hide her excitement a little, before turning the key and walking inside.

"Taylor!" She exclaimed giddily, failing to be the sensitive ex-girlfriend. "I have great news!"

He came out of nowhere, muttering her name before pulling her for a hug. She never felt so uncomfortable, patting his back awkwardly.

"Hey there, boy." She lamely addressed him. "What's wrong?"

He stepped back, finally freeing her, but quickly escalated the awkwardness by cradling her face in his hands.

"Don't worry, baby. I'm here for you."

The pet name made her stomach growl. She internally commanded her organs to keep their disdain quiet. This was her friend, after all.

"They won't get it, these Hollywood types." He started with a snarl. "But I do. I'm here for you. They'll have to face me before they open their dirty pie-holes again."

Heather made an effort not to laugh, although his weird rambling was starting to get to her.

"What are you talking about, T?"

"You don't know? Oh Heather!" And there he went with the hugging again. "Oh sweetie, haven't you checked your phone?"

Heather reached for her purse almost immediately.

"No." She replied honestly, now a little worried.

There were 23 unanswered calls and 35 texts. She almost jumped at the sight.

"What the hell is going on?" She asked him.

He grabbed her hands, holding the cell phone between them.

"Some jerk leaked some pictures of you…"

Heather felt her grip loosen as he continued the story. The relief and contentment that she was holding evaporated into thin air. She felt herself blush in humiliation.

"Let me see."

Her voice was like ice. It scared him but he was quick to comply. His computer was on the kitchen table, the link already opened. It made her stomach turn and she felt like she was going to throw up.

He never stopped talking to her. From the moment they walked to the computer to her final click on very intimate and personal pictures now displayed on a gossip site. Her face was beet red. She could feel the heat coming off in waves. Her cheeks were stained from the quiet tears. Taylor made a move to wipe them but she shied away, her head down with embarrassment.

Everyone was going to see it.

"Honey, don't be sad. These assholes don't deserve your tears."

She smiled. They were quiet for a moment. Taylor had finally run out of things to say. His hand kept going to her back, burning a hole in her skin. She just wished he would stop touching her. She didn't want to be touched. She felt violated. It wasn't his fault but she really couldn't take his comfort right now.

Her eyes looked up to the computer, the tears coming back immediately. He closed it abruptly moving in front of her.

"You're sweet, Taylor." She said honestly, feeling bad for not accepting his friendly hand.

"I care about you." He said with a smile. "But don't worry. I made us dinner. We'll have a meal and watch your favorite Disney movies, and then we'll go to bed and everything will be okay in the morning."

Heather frowned. More tears rolling as another wave of sadness hit her.

"Thank you. Really. But I'm just gonna go to Ashley's. I need to be alone."

"To Ashley's?" He asked shocked, stopping his caresses on her hands. "You won't be alone at Ashley's. Why don't you just say you don't want to be with me?"

Heather didn't even look up. "Taylor, not now. Please…"

He inhaled harshly and stood up.

"Okay. I get it." His voice was softer again. "I just thought you would want someone from home with you. Someone who isn't a part of this creepy world. Don't you see how easily they turn on you and expose you?"

Heather's tears stopped and she felt herself freeze.

"Those pictures… Only three people have them."

"Well, not now."

Heather glared at him.

"I'm sorry. That was a stupid thing to say."

"Only three people had them. I have them. Jake has them." Taylor crossed his arms at that, furiously looking away. "And you… you have them."

"They probably hacked your cell phone."

"Probably."

Heather knew that was impossible. She had deleted them long ago. She may not be the sharpest tool at all times, but she wouldn't carry her naked pictures on her cell phone like that. She didn't do that before, she would certainly not do it now.

"Or your computer." Taylor continued when he saw the look on her face. "Or even that bastard."

"I would have thought he was your first suspect." She sarcastically commented.

Heather rose from her seat and went through her bag to find the notepad.

"I found an apartment for you." She announced, not even half as cheerfully. "It's great, you're gonna love it."

She ripped the sheet of paper where 5 different addresses had been scribbled. Two were completely crossed. Two had check marks in front. And one had check marks, exclamation points and a smile. That was the apartment Heather had just left.

"He'll meet you any day next week. So call that number and set it up." Taylor didn't even look at the paper; his eyes were on Heather, a mix of pity and accusation that wasn't lost on her. "I'm sorry but I have to go now. He'll tell you everything you need to know."

Heather gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked out.

When she got to Ashley's, her friend jumped from the couch and hugged her. They went to Ashley's room for more privacy and never left. Ashley brought her dinner and right after Heather fell into a deep slumber.

* * *

><p>Going to work the next day didn't feel like the break from the torment, it felt like a new kind of hell. Her happy workplace bubble wasn't only broken but had turned into a new reminder of everything that wasn't going according to plan.<p>

After a good night's sleep and a call, that was surprisingly supportive, from her mother, she was ready to face a new day.

She saw Dianna, Mark and Jenna as soon as she got out of the car. They were all both supportive and up-lifting making her immediately feel better. Mark and his inappropriate winks and staring had even earned a friendly slap.

"She's taken!" Jenna threw at Mark with an accusatory finger, and just like that the bubble was broken.

They went their separate ways and that's when the real hell began.

Most of the crew were friends, but this was the Fox set. Lots of people worked there, lots of familiar yet unfamiliar faces, lots of people who wouldn't mind ogling at her as she passed. Apparently everyone had gotten the memo for her nude scandal. Or may they hadn't.

Maybe she just felt watched because the embarrassment was still burning under her skin.

One lasting look after from an old security man and Heather was jogging to her trailer, ignoring everyone, dying to reach safe territory.

Heather stormed into her trailer, and let her body fall against the closed door, locking herself from the world and their access to her lady parts.

_This is going to be a long day_, Heather thought.

"Hey."

The soft voice made her jump, but it only took a second for her speeding heart to recognize the sound. Its pace didn't slow, but for entirely different reasons.

"Naya!" She stated, finally seeing the girl sitting on the couch to her left. "You scared me!"

Naya hadn't changed to her cheerleading outfit yet. She was wearing tight grey sweatpants and a dark blue hoodie. Her hair was down and it framed her face perfectly. The way she was sitting, with her hands pressing against the couch and a pout firmly attached to her lips, made her look both incredibly adorable and distractingly sexy.

_Such a long day._

"I know, I'm sorry." She apologized with a small smile. "I know this is probably creepy, but I wanted to talk you before we shoot."

Heather smiled despite the heaviness inside of her. She hadn't returned any of her friends' calls. It was sweet that they worried.

She walked up to the brunette and sat next to her, her eyes staying on the floor.

"I gather you've seen the pictures."

"I did." Naya croaked, sounding bashful.

Heather nodded weakly before letting out a frustrated sight. "It's so humiliating."

Naya's hand fell on her knee and gripped it. She could feel brown eyes on her so she looked to the side, seeing the most supportive frown staring back at her.

"Do you have any idea who might have leaked them?"

Heather gulped, averting her eyes immediately.

"No."

It wasn't a lie. She didn't know for sure and she didn't care to find out.

"I don't even care who did it. It's out now. Everyone can see the stupid idiot I am."

"The very naked, very hot woman you are, you mean?" Naya corrected, gripping her knee harder.

Heather smiled, but didn't look at her. Yes, it could be worse. She could look terrible. But that was really not the point. She felt exposed and violated, and she couldn't help blaming herself.

_No matter how many pricks exist in this world, they wouldn't have your naked pictures if you weren't dumb enough to send them. Or even take them. I should've known better. What an idiot. What a complete idiot!_

"It's my fault. I was stupid. It's not the first time this happens to me. But the scale of people watching my pictures now is much bigger. Me and my fake boobs. I'm such an ass."

"You are not!" Naya insisted shifting her body so that she was facing Heather's side.

The hand on Heather's knee moved to the blonde's hair and for a second the only thing on Heather's mind was how good it felt. The shivers started immediately, but filled her with warmth and butterflies. It actually made her smile despite her sadness.

"So what if the world gets to see how hot you look naked? So what if some jerk without a life leaked them? And so what if those boobs were fake? Now you're all natural, and you still look just as hot. It doesn't matter, Hemo! It's just your body."

Heather looked at her. She wanted to agree and nod but she couldn't. Her face was blank but her eyes betrayed her as they filled with fresh tears.

"I know it doesn't seem that simple but it doesn't change you. They've got nothing on you. They may have seen your body, but you're so much more than that. You didn't ask for this, but let them have it. The most beautiful side of you isn't theirs to see. No picture, no matter how private, could show it."

This time when tears fell from Heather's face she wasn't feeling that sad anymore. She looked at Naya, trying to capture every little detail of her face. The way brown eyes studied her so attentively, her frown washed with such worry, but her smile so tender and honest; the way her right hand traced soft patterns on her leg, while the other played with her hair so gently like everything was good in the world; the way her breathing turned erratic every time a tear would fall from blue eyes, like she was desperately trying to prevent that sadness.

_Why do you care so much?_

"You're too nice. I don't deserve all that." Heather said honestly, her eyes still firmly set on Naya's face.

"Oh, you do. You deserve it all. That's the curse of meeting you, Heather Morris. No matter how many years go by, no matter what happens, I still am surprised at how amazing you are."

Heather gasped in awe and gratefulness as the words reached her ears. She pulled Naya into her, hugging her as tightly as she could. Her limbs almost hurt from the pressure she was putting around Naya' body, but everything about the other girl was dissipating every bit of sadness from her body. It seemed like the awful heaviness of the past month was erased completely just by Naya's words and Heather couldn't feel more peaceful.

In that moment she didn't worry about the future. She was a lucky woman.

"I love you so much." Heather whispered earnestly.

The body wrapped around hers trembled slightly at her words.

"I love you too."

After a minute, Naya let go of Heather, wiping away the blonde's tears with the back of her hand.

"And that's why I'm going to show you something I've never shown anyone before." Naya confessed, moving to the side to grab her bag and fish an envelope from inside. "I held on to these so I would never even attempt something like that again."

Heather eyed the envelope curiously.

"I'm glad I did because I think this is the perfect opportunity to expose my own ridiculousness."

Heather moved to grab the envelope but Naya hid it behind her back with a bashful smile. Her grin grew bigger and she cracked up making Heather laugh, her curiosity only growing.

"Oh God… I can't believe I'm doing this." Naya muttered with a huge grin. "A little back story is in order…"

Heather nodded enthusiastically.

"I was eighteen and stupid. And I had the dumbest crush on my best friend's cousin."

Heather smirked. "What did you do?"

"Well, we flirted online for months and, finally, one day we kissed at a party. We made out all weekend actually, but, the week after that, he was already rumored to be hooking up with some other chick. I was outraged! So after a while we were chatting online _again_, and I was completely drunk. At some point he started taking longer with his answers and I couldn't help but think he was flirting it up with that other chick. Sooo…"

Heather laughed before she even knew what was coming. Naya just slapped her arm playfully before continuing. "I decided I was gonna show him what he was missing. That way he would never look at any other girl again."

Naya moved the envelope to her lap and opened it. There was a small hesitation, although her eyes were firm. She grabbed what seemed like three photographs facing down. Looking up at Heather she smiled, now completely at ease.

"I got fully naked and turned on my webcam to take some pictures."

Heather's eyes widened and her mouth flew open. She felt a sudden rush of blood to her head and a weird freezing thrill running down her body. Her heart was beating too fast for its own good. Heather had to slap herself internally for being so excited to see something that apparently made her friend feel vulnerable.

"Thank goodness, I was too drunk to realize I could have just turned on my webcam and shown it to him live. I didn't think of it at the time, so my idea was to take sexy pictures and send them to him." Naya took a long breath that cracked with contained giggles. "Here you go."

Naya extended the first picture, still facing backwards, holding on to the other two. Heather's hands trembled as she took the offer and turned it quickly.

The picture was almost completely black, but you could see the silhouette of a girl moving to her bed. Despite the darkness, Heather recognized the hunched over brunette right away. She was still wearing fluffy socks and her ass was on full display as she clumsily moved to the bed. Heather burst out laughing at the sight, although her eyes were now firmly attached to the firm ass that was barely visible.

Naya laughed along with her, extending the second picture.

"After that I realized I had been too slow and the room was too dark. So I set up the webcam again, turned on the lights and got ready for my pose."

Heather took the second picture and turned it. This time she could see Naya, lying sideways on the bed. She wasn't wearing socks anymore and, even though the quality was pretty bad, there was a clear view of her naked body. Heather tried to laugh again, but it got caught in her throat while her eyes followed each curve. She could feel herself blushing, the heat that washed over her needing a way out through her skin. Her center clenched at the sight and Heather gulped loudly. It was the hottest thing she had ever seen.

She felt Naya look at her when she didn't react. With a throaty laugh that was mixed with an awkward cough, Naya pointed to her face.

The burst of laughter invaded Heather's chest, distracting her from the quick throbbing that had invaded her body. Naya's eyes were half closed and her mouth was hanging open like she was about to throw up. The hand holding her head made a mess of her hair, ruining the sexy pose completely.

Both girls laughed, although Heather's eyes kept getting pulled to the rest of the picture.

"Give me that, pervert." Naya playfully demanded, stealing the picture before giving her the last one. "And that was my attempt at a close up…"

Heather turned the picture to find Naya face-planted with her legs awkwardly hanging in the air.

"… Before I fell on my face."

Heather was guffawing so hard that her body starting slipping down the couch until she hit the floor.

"W-What the hell were you doing?"

"I was trying to get closer to the camera! I was reaching the end of the bed but I couldn't hang on." Naya explained, her eyes teary-eyed as heartfelt chortles left her mouth.

"I was so bad I didn't get up anymore. I passed out and woke up the next day with the computer still on and freezing!"

"You slept on the floor totally naked?"

Heather really couldn't stop. She grabbed Naya's legs - that were now next to her face - trying to apologize for being so disrespectful but not being able to. Naya was laughing just as hard.

"I was so glad no one went to my room and found me like that with the webcam on!"

Heather nodded, her eyes closed firmly and she let the laughter slowly subside. After minutes of failed attempts to stop, they finally took long breaths to calm themselves down. That was when it downed on Heather, just how sweet this gesture had been.

"When did you print these?"

"Today. I had them on a CD with a password all these years."

"You printed them for me?" Heather asked stunned.

"Yes." Naya said simply. "And if you promise to keep them locked tight, I'll let you have them until you stop feeling sad…"

Her voice got much softer at the end. Heather was just staring at her. Knowing Naya, she would rather burn all the computers in the world before she would let anyone near that CD. But she had actually taken the time to print the evidence to make Heather feel better.

"I don't need to have them. We can burn them if that makes you more comfortable." Heather started reaching for Naya's hands. "I won't feel sad about it because I have you in my life."

Naya averted her eyes with a sudden blush.

"No, look at me." Heather asked, and Naya complied. "_You_ are the amazing one. I won't be sad. How could I? I'm the luckiest person in the world. I have _you_."

Naya grinned at her, closing her eyes before her head fell down. She seemed so content to see Heather so happy that it only made her heart beat faster.

And that's when Heather remembered. Naya was one of the best friends she could ask for, and she hadn't even told her about the break up. She felt a wave of guilt wash over her and, even though it didn't break her happy bubble, she knew she couldn't enjoy it fully without opening up.

"Naya, there's actually something I wanted to talk to you about."

Brown eyes quickly met hers. The worry was back full force.

"What is it?" She said with the softest of tones.

"I should have told you about it earlier." Heather admitted, getting on her knees to face the brunette. "I don't know why I didn't."

_Lie._

Naya only looked more worried.

"It's nothing important."

_Lie. Stop lying to her, asshole!_

"I mean, it's important, very important. But it's a good thing."

Naya nodded slowly, looking less worried and yet more scared.

"I mean, most people would think it's a sad thing. But in this case, I feel like it was important in a good way."

"Heather, you're rambling." Naya pointed out with a nervous smile.

"It's just that I… I bro-"

There was a knock on the door.

"Yeah?" Heather groaned.

"Heather, they need you in makeup ASAP!" Jamie, from the staff, shouted from outside.

"O-okay. I'll be right over."

Naya was looking at her expectantly.

"I'm sorry. I just made you worry. It's nothing to worry about. But I don't want to tell you like this. Can we maybe have dinner…" The pang of heat in her lower stomach quickly made her backtrack. "…LUNCH!" She practically yelled.

"Can we have lunch tomorrow, so I can talk to you about it? Just us two?"

"Sure." Naya nodded. "But Heather, can't you at least say what it is about? You can't leave me hanging like this."

"Please, just wait until tomorrow. Please."

Naya pressed her lips together and nodded.

"Okay. Tomorrow then."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Okay guys, I know it's been a while. I went on a long trip to Israel and when I came back school started along with lots of papers and a tiring new schedule. I really tried to update before leaving, but there was still something missing in this and I didn't want to rush it (it's an important chapter after all). For those of you who haven't given up on me, I really hope you enjoy this. It's a loooong one to compensate for the wait. Tell me what you think! :)**

* * *

><p><strong>13. Confessions<strong>

Heather had called in sick and asked to skip rehearsal that afternoon, promising to show up bright and early the next day. It was the first time she had done that. Everyone was immediately worried, filling her cell phone with texts and asking if she needed anything. The details of this sudden disease remained unknown.

Out of all the worried faces, Naya's was the worst. Heather never called in sick. She had actually showed up one time with such a high fever that she had almost fainted during rehearsal. For Heather to miss work she had to be nearly dying or something else was going on. Something serious.

She had texted her that morning to postpone their lunch - the one where she would tell her about the "not important, very important, good, but sad" thing. The vague, apologetic text didn't mention feeling sick, which only confused Naya further.

She just couldn't wait for the next day. She got in her car as soon as work was done and drove to Heather's place.

When she got there, Taylor was outside, carrying a huge box towards the trunk of a white SUV. Relief flooded her. It couldn't be so serious if it didn't stop him from whatever he was doing.

Naya haphazardly parked her car, meeting Taylor on the curb with a soft smile.

"Hey Taylor." She greeted.

"Hi." He coldly replied.

Naya had to stop her eye-roll at his tone. They had surely fought. He would always act like a brat when that happened. Who would fight a probably comatose Heather? God, he was an ass.

"Is Heather home?" She asked, concern already lacing her tone.

He looked at her like she was mocking him. Shifting his head to the side to glance at the entrance, he responded. "She's there."

Before Naya could protest against his carelessness, Heather came out holding a similar box, looking healthy as ever.

"Heather?"

"Naya?" The panicked tone didn't quite convey the absolute ghostly look that showered the girl's face.

She dropped the box with a loud crash, wakening an immediate raging Taylor.

"Would you be careful?! You probably broke something!"

Heather didn't reply, standing there, looking at Naya in stunned silence.

Taylor marched to her, shoving her to the side as he inspected the interior of the box while spitting accusations.

None of the girls heard a word. Naya slowly walked up to them, questioningly observing Heather. His temper, the boxes, Heather's shock at seeing her, the important thing she had to tell her – all those little puzzle pieces were starting to fit together and Naya didn't know what to say.

"I thought you were sick."

Taylor scoffed throwing a side glance at Heather before grabbing the box and taking it to the trunk.

"I can explain." Heather weakly said.

"Well, can you finish helping me first?" Taylor spat from behind Naya.

Heather finally acknowledged him with a nod, before turning to her friend again.

"Don't leave. Go inside and wait for me. I'll be right over." Heather pleaded.

"Okay." Naya croaked, walking to the house without really knowing why.

If what she was thinking was true, then why wouldn't Heather say something? And should she be here now? Heather didn't owe her explanations. But she had looked so guilty, and Naya couldn't deny the sting in her chest even in her state of shock.

When she crossed the hallway she noticed how the place was starting to look the way it did many years ago. For a long time, Taylor's stuff had started marking the place, plaguing almost every corner. But now it was as if his presence was absolutely gone from inside those walls, and without Ashley's things, it actually looked a little empty.

Hearing steps entering the house, she noticed how the living-room was still filled with boxes. Not wanting to be here while they carried them out, Naya climbed the steps and ventured inside Heather's room.

His things were gone from here too. The bag Heather used to bring to Naya's place when she slept over was standing next to the closet, apparently full.

She sat on the bed waiting, not really capable of forming any coherent thoughts. She didn't know what she was feeling. It actually seemed like she felt nothing - absolute numbness - which was a weird feeling on its own.

She didn't know how much time had passed, but when Heather showed up at the doorway, her body ached from being in the same position for so long.

"I'm sorry you had to wait." Heather said, slowly entering the bedroom.

"What's going on, Heather?" Naya asked, looking up at the blonde who seemed to hesitate on where to stand.

Heather's fingers fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. She stood in front of the dresser, facing Naya, but keeping her distance. It made Naya feel just as awkward.

"I-We broke up." Heather paused, looking down. "He's moving out."

Naya waited for the girl to look back at her, but when she didn't, the brunette stood up, walking a step closer.

"I'm so sorry." She said honestly, her heart breaking at the thought of Heather's sadness.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Heather looked at her, seeming hopeful but also nervous with the shortened distance. She started speaking, but suddenly stopped and swallowed emptily. The blonde averted her eyes, eventually closing them.

"I didn't know how."

"When did this happen?"

If Heather looked guilty before, now she looked absolutely mortified.

"It-It happened a while ago." She paused, taking her time before looking up at Naya. "It's been a month."

"A month?" The shocked reply was out before she could stop it. "Heather…"

"Would you sit down?" Heather asked softly while staring at the floor.

"I want to tell you everything, but I can't with you standing in front of me like this."

Naya looked at the space between them and silently did as asked.

When Heather didn't say anything, Naya asked the question that was burning in her chest.

"Why did you break up?"

"It just wasn't working." Heather said simply, glancing at Naya before returning her attention to the floor.

"Does anyone know?"

Naya tried to cover the hurt in her voice when she asked, but as blue eyes met hers, she knew she had failed.

"I only told Ashley." Heather breathed. "Our families know. He told my mother."

Naya nodded, not knowing why it hurt so much that Heather hadn't confided in her. It was very unusual for them to talk about Taylor, or any aspect of their love lives. If it weren't for their mutual friends and crossed conversations, they would probably never even discuss it at all. She had no reason to feel like this.

"I'm so sorry, Naya. I wanted to tell you. But you- you were so happy at the time, with Nate and all that. I didn't want to bring you down with my sob story. And I really didn't know where to start."

Adding to the illogical feelings she was experiencing, the explanation strangely humiliated her. But now wasn't the time to be a ball of emotion over this. Even if four weeks after the fact, and only because Naya showed up unannounced, Heather was still confiding in her. Her friend needed her.

Naya stood up once more and closed the distance between them, against Heather's wishes.

"Hey, you don't have to apologize. I'm sorry I looked so shocked. I wasn't expecting it. But that doesn't matter now."

Naya held Heather's forearms hoping to bring some comfort to the other girl. "How are _you_?"

She couldn't understand the way Heather was looking at her. It seemed like the blonde was hesitating on what to say and her guilty eyes kept averting Naya's. But why? Why did she look so scared?

"I'm okay. I knew it was coming. Ever since he moved in things started going downhill."

Naya's brow furrowed. That was certainly not how it had seemed. Everyone kept saying how perfect they were and talking about the impending marriage.

Well, now that she thought about it, Heather had never responded with the same enthusiasm. She would smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. And, most of the time, she would avoid the questions. Naya had just been too focused on not throwing up to notice, until now.

"I started realizing things I hadn't before." Heather continued, now shaking under Naya's grasp.

It pained the brunette, who only gripped harder. Heather, however, didn't seem to want physical support. She softly grabbed Naya's wrists, pulling her away, before moving to sit on the bed. Their places now reversed, Naya leaned back onto the dresser watching her.

"I guess I was in denial about…"Heather managed to meet her eyes, but it didn't last long. "… Taylor. Our relationship wasn't what I thought it was."

"Did he do something?"

Heather smiled sheepishly at Naya's protective tone.

"No. If anyone's to blame it's me. I should have figured it out sooner."

"Figure what out?" Naya asked, her voice quieter than she expected.

"That I didn't love him." Heather confessed, looking up at her with tears starting to fill her eyes.

At that, Naya had to physically fight to breathe. The brunette wanted to move to the bed and hold Heather, but she felt like she wasn't allowed to. It was maddening to stand there, watching her friend break apart. Just as maddening as trying her hardest not to let the small glint of hope reemerge.

"I'm so sorry." She said again, not knowing what else to do.

The blonde looked away with a tight-lipped smile, but her eyes turned sadder.

"What can I do?"

"Nothing." Heather responded simply, still looking away.

The stony answer only agitated the slight sting that was still bubbling in Naya's chest. Feeling powerless, she tried to verbalize the confusion in her mind. Hopefully, that would help break the unexpected wall between them.

"I know you're a very private person. I know that and I respect it." Naya started, watching Heather's face, even as the girl ignored her to focus on the comforter instead.

"But I don't understand… He's already moving out. I know we don't talk about this kinda stuff all that frequently but… Is there a reason you didn't tell me?"

Heather gulped, wiping away her tears but still not looking up.

"I told you why. I didn't want to drag you into this."

This time Heather's words hit her with new meaning. Naya felt the sting turn into a painful clench in her chest. By "drag you into this" Heather meant she didn't want to give Naya hope. The feeling of humiliation came back, but this time it made sense to her. Everything was suddenly clear - the distance, the vagueness, how unusually guarded she was being.

"What do you mean drag me into it? I'm your friend." Her voice was so weak right now, it embarrassed her even more.

"Your life was on the right track. I didn't…" Heather looked around the room as if looking for answers. "I don't know. I guess I just didn't want to be the Debbie downer."

On the right track, Naya thought. Those were Heather's words.

After all this time, she thought she had been more successful hiding her feelings. But it made sense that the one person she could never fool was Heather. Hell, she wasn't even sure she could fool Telly or Dianna. Maybe she couldn't really fool anybody. Just a second ago, she was fighting her own pathetic hope.

She was the same silly girl of the past. So obviously so that, puppy eyed Heather Morris, the head-chief of Denial, couldn't ignore it.

She wasn't mad at Heather. Could she be mad that her former best friend wouldn't want to give her false hope? For not wanting to break her heart again?

She was merely mad at herself.

In any other situation, Naya would skillfully avoid the insinuation and reassure Heather. But this time, watching Heather evading, Naya felt like she couldn't pretend anymore. It was pointless anyway.

"I'm sorry to disappoint but Nate and I were never serious."

Heather's eyes glued to her immediately, like a magnet had just forced them up. And they were almost as wide as when Naya had arrived.

"I had fun with him, but it would have been much more comfortable for me if we had just hung out as friends."

Naya knew her tone was cold, almost uncharacteristically bitter, but she couldn't bring herself to change her demeanor.

"But obviously I wouldn't know that without trying first, so I did. At that moment, I felt like I really needed some light-hearted dates to get my mind off of…"

Hold your horses on the honesty department, Naya thought.

"…Stuff."

The staring contest between them was starting to unnerve her so she shrugged her shoulders looking away, talking as lightly as she could muster.

"So you really didn't need to spare me from a sob story. But you probably had your reasons not to confide in me. I can't tell you they were wrong."

Heather's brow furrowed in the confused puppy look Naya tried not to adore.

It seemed like even when she was so dangerously honest, Heather would miss it. But if that was the case, where did this talk come from?

"You can talk to me about this, about whatever you want, and I'll listen. I told you before and I'll say it again – I'm here for you. But I also respect that you may not want to. So I'm going to leave now."

Heather's face fell and the blonde dancer stood up, but Naya didn't stop.

"I'm sorry for forcing this out of you. I really didn't mean to. I was just really worried because you never call in sick."

Naya started speaking faster as soon as Heather stood up, and this time she was the one avoiding physical contact by moving to the doorway and out of Heather's grasp.

"That's really sweet." Heather said softly, in absolute contrast to her movements as she almost jumped towards Naya.

Heather closed the door as Naya was about to reach it. The brunette jumped back a little, her back colliding with the wall. Heather looked at her apologetically, rubbing her palms against the fabric of her jeans.

"I'm sorry to jump on you like this, but can you please not leave yet?"

Naya was going to agree but nothing came out. Heather was looking at her in a way that brought one too many memories, and the girl froze trying to ignore the parallels. Heather was standing only two very short steps away, leaning against the doorway with soft, pleading eyes.

"I feel like we just had one of those double-meaning conversations."

"You think we do that?" The brunette couldn't help a smile.

"Don't you?"

"Maybe. But I'm not used to you being so…"

"Perceptive?" Heather asked, embarrassed.

Naya laughed. "I was going to say blunt."

After a small pause, she continued.

"I don't mean you're not an honest person, though. You're pretty direct. It's just that…"

"I know."

"So what were you trying to say?"

"You first." Heather quickly offered, biting her lip nervously.

Naya cracked up but didn't relent.

"Well…" Heather started, a blush covering her cheeks. "I don't want you to get mad at me, or awkward, or anything like that…"

The blonde's breathing was so erratic now that her words came out in puffs, like she was underwater and needed to come up before speaking. It made Naya fidget.

"The last thing I want is to scare you away…"

Now Naya was sure of what was going to be said and her heart broke in anticipation. It was going to hurt, but seeing Heather prepare to step away, she grabbed her elbow to stop her. It surprised them both. Usually Naya would prefer some distance in a situation like this, but this time felt different. She couldn't take the physical distance on top of the emotional one that was probably going to be thrown at her. She would face the final rejection head-on.

"The reason I didn't tell you about Taylor until now…"

Heather locked eyes with her, looking vulnerable in a way Naya had never seen before.

"…Is the fact that I've been thinking a lot about when it all started."

Naya froze.

"Ever since he moved in I realized that our relationship only worked long-distance. At first I thought it was just the fact that I wasn't used to it. But it still felt weird that I wasn't… Happier. And then…"

Heather looked down and started talking to Naya's neck. It raised an embarrassing surge of heat over her body, but it didn't stop the agonizing fear that pulsed in her heart.

"Then I thought about how Taylor and I got back together and… Everything came back. All that confusion..."

Naya frowned and even though Heather wasn't looking directly at her, she seemed to notice. The blonde straightened her back, daring to look back at Naya.

She knew she hadn't covered the sadness in her face fast enough just by watching Heather's pout. It was adorable. So adorable it wore her down. How was it that, even in the worst moments, she couldn't stop reacting to the blonde this way? Was it possible that she didn't just not get over Heather but fell more in love with her over the years?

"I realized I made a huge mistake. I don't know how my life would have been if I hadn't done that. But even the tiniest chance that, maybe, things could have worked out my way breaks my heart."

Naya's heart was now at an impossible fast beat. For the first time since she had arrived, she wasn't afraid. She wasn't hopeful either. It was a weird anxious sensation of being on the verge of falling. But instead of being scared, you just want to know when they'll push you over the edge.

"I didn't tell you about Taylor because all I could think about was how _we_ were before."

Naya's eyes widened and it seemed to scare Heather. As if she was just now realizing what she was revealing.

"And every time we were together I just wanted to have a little bit of that past back."

Naya didn't say anything, which seemed to make the situation worse. Heather's eyes filled with tears that quickly ran down her cheeks. Yet, the blonde continued.

"I don't even know how you felt before. I just know that I buried myself in a stupid fucking highschool fantasy. And I keep wondering…"

Blue eyes were everywhere but on Naya. The brunette wanted her to look at her, but she couldn't ask. Thankfully, Heather still seemed to read her, so puffy blue eyes met hers.

"I know you still remember those days because I can feel it when we're together."

Heather took a shaky breath before continuing. "I don't want to sound conceited. I'm not making assumptions about… your past feelings. I just know you remember it. And it's absolutely normal that for you it's all well resolved in the past. But I guess… It's not for me. I denied it all this time, and maybe because I denied it, it didn't…"

Heather stopped the words before they were out, leaving Naya hanging on every word. The blonde looked down, her voice losing its strength.

"I made all the wrong choices and tried to be with someone in a way I couldn't anymore. And when I realized it… I didn't know what to do. I knew I couldn't keep lying to myself or Taylor, that's why we broke up. But I didn't know how to come to you."

Was this a dream? Was Heather actually talking about this? Was this happening?

Naya looked around the room. Her vision was hazy as if she had been drinking. She let her hands feel the wall that was touching her back. It was real, this was happening.

When her eyes returned to Heather the girl seemed utterly heartbroken. Naya felt incapable of moving or even speaking. She had yearned for this moment for so long, kept it hidden from her wishes for so long, that now she was completely paralyzed.

She didn't know she was crying until she felt the warm tears roll against her cheeks.

"Please say something." The blonde begged without meeting her eyes.

Naya opened her mouth to speak, but the only thing that came out was a strangled, "I remember".

Heather looked at her lips as she spoke. The look of wonderment was so intense one would think she didn't know Naya was capable of speaking. When she found the trace of tears, she moved closer, locking eyes with the brunette. Her right hand moved to Naya's face, delicately wiping them away.

Her soft touch burned Naya's skin, her heart beating wildly, but she couldn't let herself repeat the same mistakes of the past. She needed to be sure.

"What were you denying… back then?" She asked.

Heather let her hand fall, a contemplative sad smile gracing her lips.

"That I was falling in love with you."

The gasp that left Naya's mouth was barely audible, but both of them heard it. Heather avoided her eyes, her face solemn.

"I was afraid that maybe you didn't feel the same, that maybe to you it didn't mean as much. I didn't want to lose you, and…"

Heather took a shallow breath, new tears forming.

Naya's heart was dancing against her ribcage. It was dizzying and overwhelming.

"And then a lot of stupid stuff got in my head. I thought I needed a boyfriend to stop being confused. I thought I would screw us up or ruin your career. I thought a lot of crap." Heather choked on her words. "I was so afraid."

"Why didn't you talk to me about it?" Naya's words were whispered throatily.

"I wanted to but I didn't know how."

"That happens a lot." The snarky comment seemed out of place, and Naya immediately felt sorry for it.

Heather didn't seem bothered. She just nodded.

"I know it was my own doing but… Why didn't you say anything?"

"When?" Naya asked, even though she knew exactly what the other girl meant.

"When I told you my mom was setting me up with Taylor."

Naya thought about that day as she absorbed Heather's words.

"What could I say?" Naya croaked.

It upset Naya to hear her own words. All this time she blamed herself for being foolish but never for being a coward. How could she have been so passive?

The guilty look that shadowed blue eyes, her broken figure, and the tremble on her lips while trying to keep the tears at bay - nothing about the blonde was defensive or attacking. She looked defeated. It made Naya want to say more.

"I didn't know what we were. I didn't know if it meant anything to you."

Heather let out a cry. It was soft and muffled by her hand, but Naya caught it. This time she was the one to move a step closer, grabbing Heather's wrist. The sob that followed broke her heart.

"But did it mean something to you?"

The question may have been whispered but Naya had never heard anything so loudly.

She gripped Heather's hands. "Yes."

Heather looked up, and it was the most beautiful sight Naya had ever seen.

"I was falling in love with you too."

The strangled breath that escaped Heather's lips as her eyes shone was Naya's final push. They didn't seem to be able to stop their tears any longer. Heather pulled the girl into a tight hug, letting their bodies collide. There was no space between them, but this time like never before. It was out now.

Naya felt like she had jumped back two and a half years and put her heart back together. A smile, stained by tears, burst through her lips and she could feel her whole body being enveloped by Heather's warmth.

Her body shook and she gripped harder, having trouble breathing under the frenzy that was happening inside her body. Her head burned with a new kind of fire, as if celebrating the end of tortuous thoughts. For that moment, her only concern was to hold on for dear life.

A content laugh found its way out. She felt Heather reflect it as she turned her head slightly burying it on Naya's hair.

"Naya?" she whispered to her neck before stepping back enough to face her.

The brunette didn't want it to end just yet, but she couldn't resist the opportunity to face the blonde. The girl looked a mess, the most gorgeous mess ever to grace the earth. Her eyes were bluer despite the puffiness and redness surrounding them, her skin tainted by a blush that would not cease, and her breathing shallow but much lighter than before.

The blonde turned serious and Naya felt herself doing the same almost immediately.

"Do you… Do you still…"

Heather gulped and it made Naya nervous. This moment had made her jump back in time mending her broken heart, but the present could still tear her apart.

"Heather, let's not talk about this right now."

Heather looked devastated, but nodded. It was such a huge fall from the stunned and bewildered happy look she was sporting not a second ago. Naya had no doubt in her mind that whatever was about to be said took a lot to ask. And for that alone she knew she would be honest. She wouldn't lie about this ever again. Knowing she hadn't been a fool all these years, that what they had shared had been real, was the greatest gift Heather could have given her. But to go beyond that at this point was a risk Naya wasn't willing to take.

Taylor had just left. Heather was feeling lonely; her world was probably upside down. She had been thinking about the past, regretting her decisions. How could Naya trust her emotions right now?

"We'll talk." Naya added watching Heather's broken but compliant expression. "Just not today."

Heather's smile froze her. She had never seen Heather smile like that before. And at that moment she finally knew what pure bliss felt like. Because no matter what happened after today, she had been honest and Heather wasn't running away anymore. The relief that flooded her made her dizzy. She felt her legs weaken but Heather's arms were back around her waist, safely holding her still.

The blonde stared at her lips sending a familiar wave of butterflies to Naya's stomach. A shiver ran through her back as she let her eyes fall to Heather's lips. There she saw the smile that she had longed for all this time, and with her heart beating its fastest she watched Heather close the distance and kiss her forehead.

Naya smiled, her chest jerking at the feeling of soft lips resting against her face. Heather was different. A change that made Naya feel safer than ever before.

* * *

><p>Heather found it hard to do simple things she used to do automatically. She had to force her brain to focus so that she could open her bedroom door, just like she had to force her legs to walk down the steps.<p>

Naya was right next to her, silently following her and for that alone she felt like the happiest woman on earth.

Heather didn't know what possessed her to open up like that. In her head she had already decided to be honest with Naya about the past, no matter the consequences. It seemed fair to at least let the girl know that she wasn't just playing around back then. The fear of rejection had almost frozen her and Heather could only hope that Naya wouldn't freak out and shut her off.

Ever since her mind had taken a trip down memory lane, a feeling in her gut told her that, at least in the past, the feelings that she had denied had been returned. There had been something there. It wasn't just a selfish need to know for sure that made her talk. It was the guilt that hung on her chest every time Naya's eyes would darken in sadness when referring to those times. She needed to come clean. Heather just wasn't expecting to talk about it so impulsively.

And when she did, it was as if the tomb had opened letting everything out. She kicked herself internally for almost asking the question that Naya cut off. That question was the selfish one. She desperately wanted Naya to still feel the same way. But, as much as her heart hurt when the girl didn't want to have that talk, Heather was glad they didn't.

She didn't want Naya to think she just needed someone to warm her bed. And honestly, after years of running from this, she knew she didn't deserve to get her fairytale happy ending.

The whispered promise that they might talk about it one day was more than Heather could have hoped for. She would wait. She would wait forever if she had to. And even if Naya told her now that there wasn't a chance in hell that they would ever try again, the fact that the girl was still here right now was enough to make Heather smile the brightest smile of these past three years.

When they reached the front door, Heather opened it for Naya, and they shared a quiet smile. Naya took a few steps outside and Heather stayed back and watched her. When a sounding shriek erupted from the brunette's throat, Heather jumped outside, quickly following her line of sight.

"What's wrong?!"

"My car!" Naya whined. "They towed it!"

"What?" Heather asked confused, looking around for the white Range Rover.

"It was right here!" Naya pointed after sprinting to where her car should be.

"You parked your car here?" Heather asked trying to keep the grin from her face. "Naya, what the hell were you thinking?"

Naya turned to her with an angry pout that did nothing to stop the blonde's smile.

"I was thinking you were dying! I couldn't waste time parking it properly."

Heather smiled gently feeling another round of frenzied butterflies enter her body.

"Plus your stupid boyfr-… Taylor's car was blocking my way."

Heather cracked up lightly, reaching out for Naya's hand.

"Don't worry. I'll pay for your ticket. It's my fault after all. I'm the worst friend ever."

Naya half frowned.

"Now I'll have to call a cab."

"No, you don't. You can stay here and I'll give you a ride to work tomorrow."

Naya seemed to stop at Heather's suggestion. Only then the blonde realized what she had just offered.

"I didn't even think of work." Naya commented, ignoring the sudden tension. "I can call a cab now and you could give me a ride tomorrow."

Heather simply nodded. She hadn't meant to invite Naya for an awkward sleepover. They had an early morning call the next day, but the blonde wouldn't mind waking up at dawn to go pick her up. It was the least she could do.

The brunette inspected her for a short while, both of them gazing at each other in silence.

"But I guess I could stay here. It's not a big deal." Naya shrugged.

Heather tried to keep the wide grin from her face, not wanting to scare Naya away with a gigantic animalistic smile.

"Yeah." She tried to answer nonchalantly.

When they got back inside the awkwardness came back instantly. Naya looked around the house as if she had never been there, and Heather mimicked her thinking of something, anything, for them to do.

Naya commented how the place needed to get "more cozy", and they shared opinions on how to warm the naked walls. Conversation was always easy with them, but as soon as that stopped the silence was back. That's when Heather had the worst idea of all time. She was going to cook them dinner.

It didn't take long for a simple omelet to gain a brownish sort of rusty tone. Naya was sitting on top of the counter expecting the blonde's work and trying to guide her through it. The advice was definitely helpful, but the staring was not. Heather dropped too much salt, forgot to turn the food letting it burn on the bottom and dumped half a package of black pepper on top of the weirdly shaped omelet. She wasn't to blame, brown eyes were.

Naya cracked up loudly at the increasingly unpleasant smell of their future dinner and jumped off the counter.

"Honey, let the boss take over."

The pet name, despite being said in such a mocking tone, set a whirlwind of shivers to Heather's body.

"How are you still so bad at this?"

"You were distracting me!" Heather complained, taking Naya's place on the counter. "I'm better at it, I swear."

"If this is better, I dread to think of how it was before." Naya snorted playfully.

Heather kicked her on the hip with her foot.

"You know how it was before."

Naya grinned, crunching up her nose like Heather so adored.

Heather's cell phone started ringing and the blonde moved to grab it while still looking adoringly at Naya.

"Heather." She said when she picked up, not bothering to check who was calling.

"Hey, so how did the move go?"

"Oh, Ashley. It was fine." Heather continued, suddenly remembering how the afternoon had been. "He left about two hours ago."

Naya's head turned to the side slightly before the brunette immersed on her cooking activities again.

"So, this is it then. You're free."

Heather could hear the relief on her friend's voice, which made a smile rise on her own lips.

"Yeah… I am."

"Do you want to celebrate? I can meet you later."

Heather hesitated. Her cheeks flushed as she took a few steps away from the kitchen.

"Definitely, but… Actually… Someone showed up."

She could hear the questions bursting on Ashley's tongue before she even voiced them. It was as if Ashley had also developed a sixth sense when it came to Naya. Or maybe Heather was just too obvious.

"I mean, you can still come over. I really couldn't have done this without you. You have no idea how much your help meant to me. You're the best friend I could have wished for." Heather finished sincerely.

"Stop kissing my ass! Who is there, right now?"

"Uh… Naya."

"NAYA?!" Heather wasn't sure if Ashley was actually surprised or just having a weird and loud outburst. "How-when… What is she doing there?"

"She thought I was sick and got worried."

Heather couldn't help the smile that tugged the corners of her mouth. She had unintentionally walked back to the kitchen. Naya turned to her with a mocking frown.

"You called in sick, remember?" The brunette whispered, throwing the end of a carrot to the blonde's stomach.

Heather laughed at her as the vegetable hit her.

"What's going on in there? Are you guys flirting already? Oh my God! You told her, didn't you?"

Suddenly terrified that Naya could hear Ashley's words, Heather sprinted to the living-room before whispering.

"No. I mean, sort of. We just talked about the past. Not the present."

"Oh my God…"

"She didn't want to talk about the present." Heather clarified, noting how defeated she sounded. "Which is totally okay."

"I thought you were done with lying to yourself."

Heather still didn't feel safe so she silently walked up the stairs before answering.

"I know, and okay, I wish we could have talked more. But I'm really grateful we're in such a good place even after everything."

"How do you guys do that?"

"I don't know." Heather breathed. "I mean, it's awkward sometimes. I don't know if we'll ever be as comfortable with each other as we were before. But we have our moments. And that's more than enough."

She could hear Ashley's deep breath before her friend spoke.

"You really are in love with her, aren't you?"

Heather felt a tug in her chest at the girl's words. It wasn't really a question and they both knew it. Heather fell silent.

"Her car got towed so she's gonna sleep over tonight." She explained after a short pause.

"Sleep over?!" Ashley's tone was back in loud and weird mode instantly. "Playing with fire, don't you think?"

Heather blushed profusely at the thought of Naya and her doing anything beyond platonic.

"Nothing is going to happen, Ash."

"You say that now and then I'll end up catching you two sucking face on…"

"Stop!" Heather interrupted, feeling the heat rise between her legs. "It's not like we haven't been friends without benefits for years now."

"Yes, but you had Taylor then. Now you're free."

"That doesn't change anything."

"Besides," Ashley continued, unbothered, "you were hiding from your feelings before. It's going to be much harder now that you've faced them."

"That really isn't helping, Ashley." Heather scowled getting more and more anxious. "Everything will be fine. I won't try anything and she certainly won't either. So stop fantasizing."

"Oh, I'm not fantasizing. But I'm sure you'll be, later tonight."

"Ashley!"

"Ok, you're right! I'm being an ass."

Heather breathed in relieved.

"I guess I got a little carried away. And you're right. You and Taylor are done now, but that doesn't mean Naya will drop right in." Ashley paused. "Although, she kind of did…"

"As a friend."

"Of course." Ashley agreed, but it still sounded mildly sarcastic.

"Look, I have to go now. Will you come over?"

"No way. Even without benefits, you two are insufferable with your sexual tension."

Heather couldn't help but snort. When she hung up the phone, Heather realized she hadn't checked with Taylor. Deciding to tie all loose ends, the blonde gave him a quick call, making sure everything had gone alright.

Now that he was officially starting a new life, Taylor seemed to be enjoying hating Heather as much as possible. It hurt a little, but she knew she deserved it. Setting her phone on her night stand, she walked down the stairs finally feeling like she could start living too.

When she got back downstairs, Naya was halfway done.

"Where did you run off to?"

"I just went upstairs." Heather vaguely answered. "Oh!"

"What?"

Heather's heart was pulsing faster now that she realized a very important detail that had gone completely over her head until now.

"On the guest room, I don't have a mattress…"

Naya's eyebrows rose, understanding what that meant.

"Taylor couldn't afford one right now, so I let him have the one from the guestroom."

They had been comfortable sharing a bed before. It wasn't a big deal. But _before_ there was Taylor, and _before _the past was taboo. Now everything seemed different, even if not in a bad way. Why did Ashley always have to be right?

"You can have my bed and I'll just sleep on the couch." Heather added. "I'm actually used to it. I've been sleeping on Ashley's couch for almost 4 weeks now."

The change in Naya's expression happened instantly. The brunette watched her silently before shrugging her shoulders and turning her back to the blonde.

"If anyone will take the couch it's me. But we can both sleep on your bed, if you don't mind. It's queen sized. Plenty of space."

Naya turned off the stove while Heather just kept nodding slowly to nothing in particular.

They could sleep in the same bed. Heather wasn't an animal. She had been attracted to Naya all this time. Acknowledging her feelings wouldn't suddenly break her self-control. Ashley was just overreacting.

"Plenty of space." She repeated, embarrassingly late, earning a smirk from the brunette.

Oh, how she had missed that playful knowing smirk.

"Dinner is ready." Naya announced, sounding more domesticated than anyone else who had ever lived there.

Heather clapped excitedly, sprinting to set up the table. Naya joined her, but only to grab Heather's elbow and cease her movements.

"Do you remember that night at my house, after Mark and I had that messy fight that ended things for good?"

Heather's mind had been racing ever since Naya's hand gripped her elbow, her brain trying to tame her stubborn body. The shivers that were sent to her spine by that simple touch were as intense as they felt ridiculous and inappropriate. But as soon as Naya spoke, Heather forgot her own frenzy and nodded.

She did remember that night. She remembered how relieved and giddy she felt when Amber told her the news, before the smile died on her face as she saw Naya. The brunette looked like a truck had run her over. Her eyes were puffy, she looked angry and frustrated, and nothing anyone would say seemed to cheer her up or make her laugh. Heather couldn't take the sight, and felt extremely guilty for her short happiness over the break-up.

"You showed up at my house with sushi from my favorite place." Naya started with a huge smile on her lips.

"We watched movies all night." Heather continued.

"Yes. Horrendous, gory movies that you probably hated."

She cracked up. It was true; she didn't like them that disgusting. It made eating a hard task that night.

"But you still watched them because it was the only genre I could handle that night. I felt like killing someone, I was pissy and annoying but you stayed there."

Naya's hand travelled to her forearm where it tenderly moved in circles. The action seemed to affect the air surrounding Heather, making it much thicker and harder to breathe.

"And you listened. You made all that stupid rage disappear. A week after I was already joking around with Mark again. If it weren't for you, we probably wouldn't be friends right now. And I didn't even thank you for that."

"You didn't have to." Heather said sincerely, her voice a lower than usual. "I'm your friend. That's what friends do."

"And that's what I want to do for you now." Naya finally explained, pulling Heather back to the kitchen.

The brunette set two trays for them while Heather watched with curious eyes and a smitten smile draped over her lips.

"Go on. Pick your poison."

"I'll watch anything."

The brunette grabbed one tray and Heather followed.

"Come on, help me out. How can I make you feel better if you don't tell me what you want?"

"You're already making me feel better."

Naya set the tray on the coffee table by the couch and just turned to Heather insistently.

"Okay!" The blonde relented. "No romantic comedies. I don't need to watch other people's happy endings. No dramas. I had enough of that. No killing people. I don't want anyone dead."

Naya laughed at that, but let Heather continue.

"I guess a comedy. Like a really funny movie that's just stupid and hilarious."

"Deal!"

They took their time deciding on a movie and ended up watching Bridesmaids. It may not have been an original choice, but it had them crying in laughter just the same. However, it didn't go unnoticed by Naya how Heather's face fell when Annie felt estranged from her best friend, nor when she couldn't get the forgiveness she needed from Rhodes.

As soon as the movie finished, Heather shifted her head to look at Naya. The girl was watching her intently, making Heather self-conscious about the stray tears that had escaped her eyes somewhere during the movie. She had hid them under the discretion of the puffy pillow, but her reddened eyes were something that Naya wouldn't ignore.

The brunette pressed her lips together and frowned before resolutely grabbing the remote.

Not wanting any sort of sadness shadowing the blonde's face, Naya decided to go for some classics. The brunette was avidly scrolling through Heather's TV trying to find something appropriate for them to watch. But the more Naya did, the more it downed on Heather how well the girl knew her and what she had missed out on. The brunette had admitted her feelings. The enormity of that was still hard to grasp. Heather had been lucky enough to inspire such feelings. Naya had loved her back and Heather had let it go to waste. It made her heart cringe in pain, but she couldn't let it get to her. Not now. Not when Naya was sitting next to her, trying so hard to make her happy.

Naya finally decided they would watch Dumb & Dumber and Sister Act. Before starting the movies, the girl lifted Heather's legs and laid them on her lap. Heather smiled brightly at the gesture, nestling on the couch contently.

By the time they finished their third movie, Naya had made Heather laugh so hard that the weight on her heart had dissipated completely. The blonde was sporting a huge smile and rosy cheeks. When she turned to her friend, she found Naya watching her while tracing soft patterns on the blonde's legs.

"Thank you." Heather whispered.

The room was peacefully quiet now and it seemed like time had stopped. They were frozen in that moment of contentment where the usual worries couldn't reach them. The only thing keeping Heather's heart racing was the delicate touch of Naya's hands on her skin, which undoubtedly increased her blush.

"You're welcome." Naya replied, gripping Heather's knee before halting her movements completely.

Now that Naya wasn't moving her hands, it felt like her palms were burning holes in Heather's skin. The quietness was still peaceful, but Heather was suddenly aware of the heat in her lower stomach.

She had missed this, the way her giddiness would last for hours when Naya was around. She missed the nervous jitters that vibrated through her body. These past years, the feelings had never stopped, but they felt different when guilt clouded them. Until now, whenever she and Naya got lost in their bubble, Heather would be awaken by reality with a sharp pang of guilt that, even without acknowledging the reasons behind it, left an unbearable weight pressing on her chest. She had never felt this comfortable around Naya.

Even in that first year, the burning questions about their friendship and her own feelings (the questions she so expertly avoided) never allowed her to be completely at ease.

But now, despite not being able to act on it, things had changed. The fact that she wasn't hiding anymore, that she wasn't denying it, felt liberating.

Naya was watching her intently making Heather's smile grow. After so long, Naya's curious eyes still hadn't given up. Right now, the brunette looked more lost than ever but, at the same time, less frightened by it.

"There's something different about you." Naya admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "I can't put my finger on what, but I know something changed."

Heather nodded with a tiny shrug.

"Besides the obvious, of course." Naya continued shaking her head slightly as her eyes drifted to the coffee table. "I'm sorry, that was tactless."

Heather used her knee to push Naya's hand slightly, her own hand falling on top of the brunette's, letting her know it was okay.

"It's not that kind of change. It's something about you in general." Naya kept trying to explain, before breathing weakly. "Forget about it, I'm not making any sense."

"It makes a lot of sense to me."

At that, Naya's eyes met Heather's. There was that questioning look again and Heather wanted nothing more than to explain, but Naya had asked her not to. How was Heather supposed to tell her friend about it without breaking her promise?

"I guess I just see things in a different perspective now." Heather started choosing her words carefully, "The right one. I'm just accepting things as they are."

Naya didn't seem any more enlightened but she still nodded firmly before turning away from the blonde.

The brunette hesitated for a second. Even though her lips didn't move Heather knew she was fighting a question. When it came, it wasn't what she expected.

"So, ready for bed?"

"Uhm… sure."

Before Heather could even get up, Naya was already taking both trays back to the kitchen. The blonde followed her, hesitating on the foot of the stairs, until the shorter girl joined her.

They continued in silence until reaching Heather's room. Naya hovered by the door while Heather went through her drawers.

"Here." Heather said softly, extending a pair of short sweatpants and a black tank top.

Naya's eyes widened as she got closer, taking the clothes from Heather.

"I thought I had lost these."

Heather blushed, looking down and shuffling her feet.

"I should probably have mentioned I still had them. It slipped my mind."

When the blonde heard no response and saw no movement from the other girl, her eyes travelled upwards finding a small smirk on the brunette's lips. It wasn't the confident full-on smile just yet, but the message was clear: "don't bullshit me". Heather had to chuckle at that. It was nice not to have Naya fidget around her so much.

"Okay, so it didn't slip my mind."

"Why did you keep them?"

Naya's voice was soft again. The almost-smirk was gone, and she looked serious.

"Because", was all Heather was ready to say.

"I haven't slept over that much since…" Naya paused. "It's been a long time."

"But you're here now." Heather sat on the bed, not really trying to run away from the subject, but needing more solid ground beneath her. "So, I'm glad I kept them."

She felt Naya move closer.

"You're still not telling me why you kept these."

"Do I need a reason?" Heather answered with a breath still looking at their feet, now dangerously close. "Don't friends keep each other's spare clothes sometimes?"

"Not secretly, no. That's not like most friends."

The words jolted Heather's face up. Naya wasn't looking at her. She was eyeing the clothes, standing far too close to the blonde.

Heather swallowed the lump in her throat, letting her hands travel behind Naya's knees. She let her fingers rest there and waited for brown eyes to meet hers.

"I didn't want to give them back because I hoped you would come back soon. I knew that, as things were going, that wasn't going to happen, but I still wished it would. So I kept them."

Naya nodded weakly.

"I didn't do anything weird with them, so don't be afraid to use them." Heather joked, releasing Naya's legs.

The brunette chuckled. "Thank you. You've just put my mind at ease."

"Good." Heather stood up, forgetting how close Naya was.

As soon as their faces met, barely an inch between them, the dancer's strong legs gave away and the blonde found herself falling back to the bed awkwardly.

Naya watched her with a tight lipped smile that seemed about to burst.

Heather gave her one breathless grin before rolling her eyes. "Shut up."

That was all it took for Naya to crack up bashfully before leaving the room to change.

Now standing there alone, Heather could feel her own heartbeat. She felt her body tremble with every intake of breath. Her hands were shaking, her legs were weak, but her smile was firmly put. It was a weird situation. It had been so long since Naya and Heather didn't have huge walls between them, that it was easy to feel exposed and vulnerable with each small confession. But it seemed that every brick they took down was one less rock weighting on her heart. That alone made her want to spend the night admitting to every feeling she had ever had.

Yes, it was a weird situation, and Heather was weirdly happy.

When Naya came back from the bathroom, Heather was already lying on bed with a book in hand. The blonde had thought of pretending to be asleep, but now that she knew how much better it was not to pretend, she decided to just wait for the girl.

When Naya's footsteps entered the room, blue eyes searched for her immediately and Heather couldn't stop the gasp from coming out once she saw her friend.

Naya's hair was loose against her shoulders, but it did nothing to cover the cleavage the tank top provided. Without a bra, the black fabric left little to the imagination, even with its dark color. It rode up, giving a good tease of Naya's stomach where her abs contracted under Heather's scrutiny. The sweatpants were also tighter than before, gluing to Naya's toned thighs in a very distracting manner.

Heather's eyes remained on her body even as the girl spoke.

"I was definitely tinier back then, huh?"

Heather was still silent, focusing all her energy on keeping her jaw from falling.

"Maybe I should change. This is too tight. I can't sleep in this."

The brunette was talking much faster now with Heather still looking at her. Pressing her eyelids shuts, the blonde moved robotically to her bedside table, where she fished one of her baggy t-shirts and threw it to Naya.

The brunette muttered a thank you turning around to change.

At the silence that settled in the room, Heather opened her eyes, finding Naya's naked back towards her. A glimpse later and the baggy t-shirt had covered the sight.

When Naya turned, Heather's eyes were set on the letters of the page. Her mind was racing too much for her to read a word of it, much less comprehend it. But she needed something to look at.

She could feel the steam in her cheeks and was sure she was blushing now. Giving up on trying to hide her obvious reaction to Naya's impromptu show, Heather looked at her friend and found her equally embarrassed.

"You know… Most friends don't get this awkward for seeing each other…" Now that Heather thought about it, Naya wasn't even revealing that much "Dressed." She concluded with a mirthless laugh.

Naya stepped inside the bed carefully without turning to Heather. She sounded a little breathless.

"Well, most friends don't admit they…"

She didn't finish that thought but Heather didn't need her to.

The brunette shifted slightly and Heather felt a hand envelop her own. Looking down she saw Naya's fingers threading with her own. Without having to think about it, she gripped the hand in hers tightly, her eyes watering as a small smile returned to her face.

This was nice, _so_ nice, and much nicer than she ever expected them to be after everything.

"We should sleep. Early call tomorrow." Naya eventually said, closing her eyes while her body adjusted to the bed, finally lying fully on it.

Heather simply nodded. That was their cue; it had been for a long time. It was Naya's plea and Heather would comply. From now on, and always.


	14. Chapter 14

**14. Carpooling**

A body was pressed against her back and for a moment she freaked out. She hadn't been in bed with anyone in - well, in months. Spooning with anyone at all, well, it had been years almost. But this body felt familiar even without turning around. It took her just that extra second to relax immediately. The calm didn't last, though.

Naya turned nervously, the sleepy body didn't flinch. It merely adjusted, nestling against her side. Blonde hair fell above her erratic chest and Naya had to bite her lips not to gasp at the feeling.

That smell, the soft sweet perfume that followed Heather around as if the girl had just had a fresh morning shower.

She felt Heather's cheek against her collarbone, that unbearable soft skin grazing against her own. Their bodies were covered by the comforter, but Naya could feel every inch of the blonde's legs touching hers.

She was sure it wasn't healthy to wake up like this, to feel her heart beat so fast while her eyes were barely even open yet.

And then it all came back.

Naya heard herself laugh, a mixture of shock and relief in her chuckle. She was sure she looked bewildered. That's how she felt, anyhow.

Was she dreaming? Was this one of those tormenting, long dreams that tricked her and plagued her mind for weeks to come? Was she going to wake up with tears rolling down her face as reality hit her?

She looked around. Everything seemed too detailed, even for her sadistic memory. And then Heather moved, gripping Naya's waist, pulling her impossibly closer. No dream could produce that feeling. Naya was sure of it. She would have spent her days dreaming if that was possible.

Looking to the side with some difficulty, she managed to see Heather's peaceful face. It brought a smile to her lips and warmth to her chest.

Damn Heather and her power over her.

Slowly, she let her hand move to Heather's arm, tenderly stroking it. Her numb forearm behind the blonde's head was still unmovable, but her hand reached Heather's scalp and she ran her fingers against it.

It seemed impossible. It seemed utterly crazy to know she was in bed with Heather right now, holding her like this, without the shadow of guilt above them. More than that, it seemed absolutely surreal that, for the first time in her life, she could be this close to her without suffering the impending doom and the humiliation of not having been loved back.

Naya had to have known it couldn't have been one-sided, but rejection and fear will play tricks on your mind. Time will defeat certainty. But now, even looking back, she couldn't feel the gut-wrenching pain anymore. Even thinking of all the tears she had shed, even remembering the words of love dedicated to Taylor she had learned to listen to, even _that_ couldn't bring her down right now. And it wasn't because they had broken up. That was in the present, and the present was still just as scary and confusing as before. The simple fact that their past had been validated by the only one who could, it meant more to her than she ever imagined it would.

Just thinking about it now made her body shake and her chest clench as it released all the anxiety that it usually carried. It made her jittery and in desperate need of oxygen.

Impulsively, Naya moved to stand up. She didn't make it far, since she wasn't strong enough to lift both of them in such a position. But it woke Heather up, who seemed just as confused for a second, before smiling and then suddenly jolting back.

"I'm sorry." The blonde said, looking dizzy after the sudden motion.

"It's okay. Calm down. You're gonna be sick." Naya joked, pulling Heather back before she could think twice about it.

Suddenly, her chest was perfectly okay.

Heather let her body move back, a smile rising against Naya's neck.

"This is nice." She whispered against Naya's pulse point, awakening old shivers in her body.

"Y-yeah."

Heather seemed to notice so she shifted, letting her cheek fall back to Naya's chest instead.

"Did you sleep okay?"

"Yes. You?"

"I slept great."

Naya couldn't help but smile proudly at that.

"Thank you for last night." Heather continued softly. "It really meant a lot to me."

"Of course. Like I said, I wanted to be here for you." Naya breathed. "It must have been a hard decision."

Heather lifted her head cautiously, turning to look at her. She was frowning and seemed to hesitate before speaking.

"No, not that. I'm thanking you for listening."

Heather's eyes were the most intense shade of blue as they stared back at Naya's. "For listening to what I had to say, even though I was years too late."

Suddenly their proximity seemed suffocating. Naya couldn't possible talk about this with Heather lying partly on top of her. But before she could say something, Heather turned again, letting her head fall back on Naya's chest. The brunette sighed in relief.

"I never expected you to still be my friend after I told you." Heather admitted.

"But you told me anyway."

"I worried sick about it. But I needed to tell you. It seemed wrong not to." Heather spoke weakly.

Naya was at a loss for words. Her heartbeat fastened again and she was sure the blonde could hear it. She hugged her because even if she shouldn't, she really needed to feel the girl close right now.

"I'm glad you did."

Heather sniffed against Naya's chest before burying her face on Naya's stomach. The brunette didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the scene, so she played with Heather's hair instead. Her other hand soothingly rubbing the girl's back.

"I love you so much."

It came muffled against Naya's stomach and in any other situation she was sure she would have missed it, but she didn't. Her whole body heard it loud and clear. The tears were falling from her face and running against the sides of her mouth before she even noticed them.

What did it mean? Did she love her now? Naya desperately wanted it to mean that. But she couldn't ask. She couldn't just dive in after practically drowning in the sea of rejection. As inviting as it was, she had to take Heather's words for what they were. She had been loved. That was enough.

But if she had asked years ago, things could have been different. Maybe she should ask.

As if hearing the commotion inside Naya, Heather lifted her head to face her. Her face turned from curious to afflicted in a flash.

"Please, don't cry." She begged, holding Naya's face in her hands.

The motion made Heather's body fall heavily against Naya's, their chests colliding. Naya was sure that she would die from a heart attack or simply suffocate if she didn't leave the bed immediately.

"I'm not sad. I promise." Naya offered, running her hands against Heather's arms while trying to slow her own heartbeat. "It's just… It's still very surprising."

Heather's pout was so heartfelt; it was certainly the most adorable face Naya had ever seen. The brunette chuckled lightly, genuine glee filling her eyes.

"Have I ever told you you're the most adorable, nerve-wracking, crazy puppy I've ever met?"

Heather's smile was big and contagious. "No."

"Well, you are."

"In that case, you're the sweetest, most gorgeous, understanding, amazing, overwhelming person I've ever met."

Naya took a long breath, her eyes locked with Heather's. The blonde let her eyes wander over her face, a look of adoration softening her features.

"I'm lucky to have you." Naya confessed. "Even if we are the most complicated friends _in all the land_."

Naya's dramatic tone sent a wave of laughter through Heather, her eyes shone with awe.

"I'm lucky." The blonde corrected. "And yes, we are."

There was a short pause. Heather let her head fall back into Naya's chest, her fingers playing with the hem of Naya's shirt. It was distracting to say the least, but the blonde didn't seem to notice.

"Why do you think that is?"

The question was muttered. It was sort of not there because of the way it had been spoken so quietly, like an after-thought. But it was definitely there by the way it hung above their silence.

"You tell me." Naya let out. "You're the one having all sorts of epiphanies nowadays."

Heather shifted rolling to her belly and crossing her arms over Naya's stomach. It made the brunette hold her breath. The blonde seemed so comfortable, so unnerved by Naya's innocent jabs and also so daring. It was hard to handle this new Heather. She was still the same girl that Naya had fallen for, but the certainty in her eyes was new. What she was so certain of was still a mystery to Naya.

"You always knew?" Heather asked; her expression unreadable. "How you felt?"

Heather seemed genuinely curious to know, but Naya couldn't form words with the dancer's arms weighting on her stomach, and those bright blue eyes staring at her so intently. She nodded, and when Heather didn't move she shrugged the most nonchalantly she could manage. A mumbled "yeah" was also thrown in there. It was getting ridiculous, really.

Heather nodded. She seemed pensive, surprised and even a little angry. She stayed silent, though, almost frozen in place.

"Let's not wallow in the past, okay?"

Heather ignored her. "You must hate me for that."

Naya gaped at her for a second. "Hate you?"

At the lack of reaction, the brunette continued. "I never hated you, Hemo."

"You must have." The blonde insisted with the same blank expression.

It was actually a little scary, like she was empty inside.

"Maybe you still do, a little bit. Even more now that you know."

Naya grabbed her arms almost harshly and that's when it happened. The expressionless look was gone and the blonde looked broken. It made Naya's heart clench.

"I don't hate you." Naya stated firmly. "I never did. Weren't you listening yesterday?"

Heather nodded but didn't quite meet her eyes.

"You were pushing me away for a reason. It doesn't make me hate you."

"How?"

Naya knew she was gripping Heather harder than necessary, but that broken voice was doing bad things to her. She wanted to free them of the drama but it seemed to keep coming back.

"You were doing what you thought was right at the time…"

That wasn't very helpful, it seemed, but Naya was being honest. She had created a huge distance between them, and it had hurt them both too, but it was what she needed at the time. People did what they had to do to protect themselves. It wasn't always right. But life was complicated that way.

"Do you hate yourself for it?"

Heather looked up at her and Naya got her answer before the blonde even answered.

"Yes."

"Well, don't." She loosened her grip and cradled Heather's face instead. "I pushed you away too. I made it so hard for us to remain friends, and yet here we are. You got us through it. You never let go."

"Isn't that bad too? I made a choice, so I should have let you make your own choice as well. I was selfish."

"Were you?" Naya was frustrated by her lack of ability to make Heather feel better. "Why did you want to be friends?"

Heather didn't even pause. "Because I love you."

"And how is that selfish?"

"You know how."

"No, I don't." Naya let go of Heather's face to pull at her t-shirt urging Heather to believe her. "You didn't force me to be your friend. I needed space and you gave it to me, but stayed there even without getting anything from it. That wasn't selfish. And it made it impossible not to love you."

_Danger_, echoed in Naya's head, _backtrack you fool_.

"You were a good friend, even if you weren't anything more." Naya took a much needed breath.

"You're making my head hurt." Heather admitted, looking lost.

Naya chuckled. "Then stop finding reasons to be sad. You're making my heart hurt."

That did it. Heather's eyes got wide and she straighten up immediately.

"You're right. I'll stop." She said forcing a smile. "I'm going to make us some coffee. We have two be at work in-"

Heather glanced at her alarm clock.

Just in time it started ringing obnoxiously. Heather hit the off button and smiled. "Two hours."

"Saved by the alarm clock," Naya muttered as Heather left the room.

* * *

><p>Breakfast was peaceful. There were no talks about the past or ancient drama, no sad puppy looks from Heather or uncomfortable silences. Actually, it was quite the opposite.<p>

They ate cereal and drank their coffees talking about nothing. It was weird, yet unsurprising, how they could chat so much about the most random things.

Only when they arrived to work did Naya notice how much she had missed this. They used to carpool when Naya lived five minutes away. The morning routine was so easy to get back to. It felt familiar in the most heartwarming way. Naya knew that she couldn't dwell too much on that and she didn't. She would rather just enjoy it.

As they headed to their trailers, Telly and Kevin were the first to spot them. That was also pretty unsurprising.

The boys were quick to join them, already throwing questions at Heather from a far. They were, just like Naya had been, pretty shocked that Heather wasn't in a coma considering she had skipped work the day before.

As soon as Telly's eyes met hers, Naya felt the nerve jitters invade her. His eyes were quick to note Naya's clothes and suddenly he looked not only worried for Heather, but mortified.

When Naya tuned in to the conversation Heather was already awkwardly letting them know she wasn't that sick.

"Are you going rebel? You never miss work."

"I have missed dance rehearsals before." Heather reminded them. "I don't need them as much."

She wasn't bragging but, as always, it came out wrong. Naya could feel the grin rise in her face in all the lovesick tenderness she tried to avoid. And once more Telly's eyes were on her.

"Well, thanks for rubbing that in." Kevin joked. "It's true, though. But next time, don't text saying you're sick and then ignore your phone. We were all worried sick about you."

"Yeah." Telly agreed not looking away from Naya.

"Naya here seemed about to throw up at any minute. That's how worried we were."

The brunette kicked Kevin, feeling a blush rise up to her cheeks. She was never this grateful that her skin didn't let it show.

"Aww, that's cute." Heather said bumping against her lightly.

"Apparently she was so worried she forgot to change her clothes today." Telly said in his intimidating fatherly tone. "Did you two just meet?"

She knew exactly what he was getting at. From the corner of her eye she saw Heather turning to her awaiting her answer. Naya looked back at the blonde daring her to answer for both.

"Okaay." Kevin interrupted the silent conversation. "What's wrong with you two?"

"We came together." Heather announced.

Naya didn't know whether to laugh or hide. Heather always managed to say the things in the worst possible way.

"Oh did you?" Telly threw Naya a look.

"My car got towed." The brunette added avoiding her friend's staring contest. "We carpooled."

"Aww, just like the old days." Kevin said. "So apparently Heather was healthy enough to pick up Naya's calls but not ours."

"N-no." Heather hesitated. "She came over last night."

"Did she really?" Telly asked in his most mocking surprised tone.

Naya would kick him too if she could.

"I was worried." She admitted bashfully.

"How adorable." Telly and Kevin echoed.

The laughter eased the tension for a second before Telly spoke. "Naya, I bought a crazy new nail polish you got to see. Come on."

His tone wasn't nearly high or excited enough for her to buy it. But knowing she couldn't delay this much longer, she let her friend pull her by the arm and followed him to the building.

He didn't even wait long enough for them to reach his office. Instead, Telly cornered Naya behind a stack of costumes. Naya would laugh if it weren't for her friend's worried eyes. He had been her rock all this time, she couldn't help but get emotional at how protective he had become.

"Explain." He stated simply.

"I went to her house because I was worried sick about her." Naya started, feelings his eyes burning daggers in her skull.

"You didn't mention that glorious plan."

"What's there to mention? She's my friend, she was sick, I wanted to check up on her and she wasn't picking her phone."

"Exactly. It was normal to be worried. The fact that you didn't mention it is why you should have. Clearly it was one of your impulsive lovesick moments."

Naya didn't protest. It really was, wasn't it?

"But that doesn't explain why you suddenly don't have a car and are wearing yesterday's clothes."

Naya blushed at the way Telly was inspecting her. She could see where his mind was going and the mere thought, even if on someone else's mind, gave her chills.

"I already told you my car got towed. My choice of parking wasn't the best."

Telly rolled his eyes.

"I was worried." She insisted.

"So worried you slept on her porch?"

"No, she asked me to stay. I said yes. I didn't have a car. It made no sense spending a bunch of money on a cab to have her give me a ride the next day."

"Yeah, because no one else in the world could give you a lift."

"I wanted to be there for her."

"She seems perfectly fine to me." He pointed out. "Which is actually pretty weird considering she's supposed to be sick. There's something you're not telling me."

"If you would let me finish." Naya took a calming breath. "They broke up."

Telly's eyes were so wide the girl worried they would fall off. He put his hands to his face in shock.

"Taylor and Heather broke up?"

"He was moving out yesterday. That's why she didn't come to work. And just my luck, I bumped into him when I got there."

Telly gasped. Naya tried not to laugh at her friend's antics. He looked petrified, discreetly excited, but still mostly worried.

"She told me not to leave and to wait for her. So I did and then she came out with the truth."

The meaning behind those words nothing like Telly could imagine. Naya wanted to tell him everything, but at the same time she was still reeling from the news. And part of her wanted to keep the confession to herself. She knew she wouldn't be able to keep that from him, but suddenly facing him she was afraid that by telling him, her happy bubble would break. He would advise her not to let it get to her. That the past was in the past, no matter the confessions of last night. And he would be right, but Naya didn't want to hear it just yet.

"You must have been so shocked. Were you okay?"

Naya smiled gratefully at him. "Yeah."

"What about her? Is she okay?" Telly eyed the door as if Heather was standing there. "God, I feel like an ass. She was going through a rough time and I kept being an ass to her."

Naya hugged his arm cutely, shrugging her shoulders.

"She knows you didn't know. She kept it a secret, after all."

"Yeah, why the hell did she do that?"

"I don't know." Naya lied.

It wasn't a full lie. She knew why Heather didn't share it with her, but she couldn't say what her motives were not to share it with the others. Although, it wouldn't have made much sense to tell everyone but keep her closest friend on set out of the loop.

"Work was probably her safe bubble." Naya wondered. "The one place where she didn't have to deal with the problems she had at home."

"Should I talk to her? I feel pretty bad. But she still hasn't told us."

"Let her do it. I'm just telling you because if I didn't you wouldn't let me leave this room, and I have a bunch of scenes to shoot today."

Telly snorted at that. "Still, it doesn't seem like your brightest idea to spend the night right after he left."

Naya let go of his arm and started fidgeting. She couldn't meet his eyes and there was a nagging grin fighting its way to her face.

"I know. But there's a lot I need to tell you."

"Naya Rivera…" Telly warned, his voice betraying his threatening pose as excitement broke through. "Spill."

"It's not what you're thinking at all." Naya assured him. "Actually, I'm pretty sure you'll never guess no matter how hard you try."

Telly frowned.

"What, she professed her love or something?"

He was joking but Naya's stunned look was a deadly give away.

"WHAT?!"

"Be quiet!" She begged. "It's not like that. Look, I'll tell you everything after work. But not now. I won't be able to focus on anything if I go through that rollercoaster now."

"But-"

"No buts. Nothing happened. We just talked. About… stuff. I promise I'll explain, but don't make me do it now."

Telly nodded, his eyes understanding.

"You and your love life will end up giving me a heart attack."

Naya cracked up and threw her body against his for a tight hug.

"I really love you, you know?"

"Ditto, kid." He hugged back. "Ditto."

* * *

><p>After shooting all morning, the cast decided to grab lunch together. They ended up at their regular restaurant and were guided to the corner booth settling on the biggest round table.<p>

Naya didn't give much thought to the fact that she had felt disappointed when Heather sat between Dianna and Mark. They had spent so much time together already and still had all afternoon to hang out. It was silly, to say the least, that she would even notice it. She would not think it over. Definitely not.

Realizing her failure at not thinking, she grabbed one of the menus and immersed herself on choosing her meal. It took her about ten minutes to choose her usual order and a glass of water with lemon. It was ridiculous really.

"I want a game night." Kevin announced. "I'll be hosting."

"No way. I know your tricks. You get us playing poker, beat our asses and then buy whatever new toy you're obsessed with. I'm not paying for another ipod." Lea reprimanded him.

"You hurt me with your words. We won't play for money, then."

"For what then? Clothes?" Mark suggested with a wink.

"More like drinks."

"Oh no, not another hangover." Jenna begged.

"Then don't lose." Kevin challenged her. "Seriously though, I just want to have a party. It's been a while and I want to prove Lea I can do it better."

"You can't do it better." Cory intervened.

The group laughed and Naya patted Kevin's head for support. "I believe in you bee."

"We are a sad group of drunks." Dianna stated.

"Drunks, yes. Sad, no." Mark reiterated. "But if we want to keep our livers, I can always throw a barbecue in there. What do you say, McHale."

"I say bring those steaks."

"Wanky." Naya joked earning laughter.

"And we could have karaoke too. I'm not so good with cards." Heather shrugged.

"I want that!" Jenna clapped in agreement.

"And Band Hero!" Chord added.

Mark let his hand fall on Chord's shoulder sympathetically. "That's so last year, bro. But for you, anything."

"So we're set?" Kevin asked.

The group agreed and immediately started concocting forms of entertainment.

"Oh Heather," Kevin called "Is this weekend okay? You think you'll be fully recovered by then?"

"I'm not sick." Heather answered confused.

"Don't play tough. You were sick just yesterday." Lea reminded her.

Heather gulped heavily meeting Naya's glance. The brunette didn't notice she had stopped breathing until her lungs started clenching.

"I'm fine now."

That seemed to be answer enough. But before everyone could continue talking, Heather cleared her throat awkwardly. "I-I actually wanted to tell you guys something."

The silence was so loud, Naya was sure they would be able to hear her heart racing. The blonde was smiling nervously, her hands playing with the fork she kept staring at.

"I wasn't really sick yesterday."

There was a small gasp from everyone. It would have been funny if the blonde didn't look so distressed.

"Uh-Taylor and I broke up. And he moved out yesterday."

Now the gasps were louder. Mark put his hand on Heather shoulder gripping it silently, and Dianna had already grabbed Heather's free hand, threading their fingers.

"What happened, sweetie?" Lea asked, her tone heavy with worry.

"It just wasn't working." Heather stated firmly, lifting her head up and inadvertently meeting Naya's eyes before looking back at Lea. "It was best this way."

"When did you know it wasn't working?" Lea asked again, looking immensely confused.

"Well…" Heather snorted. "I don't think it has ever really worked, but I only realized it when he moved in."

There was an eerie silence and everyone seemed to hesitate on what to say. Jenna ended up being their savior, sharing encouragement words and a comforting smile. Naya felt like hugging her because she had succeeded in giving Heather's eyes a bit of its glint back.

"I'm really okay, guys. It was the right decision and I've had enough time to not be sad about it anymore."

"You have?" Dianna asked softly.

"Well," Heather seemed nervous again. "I did because we actually broke up almost a month ago."

Lea actually shrieked at that. An actual shriek.

"Don't be mad. You know I trust all of you. But it was so draining, the last thing I wanted was to spend even more time thinking about it. And it was complicated, and with him moving out things got kind of stressful. Now that it's over, I finally feel like I can talk about it."

Heather didn't meet their eyes until the end, as if she was afraid they would jump on her throat. When she finished she looked at Naya who was smiling encouragingly at her.

"Are you guys mad?"

"No, obviously not." Kevin was quick to comfort her. "Now I see why you started missing so many of Naya's dinners. It was our ritual. I just thought you were happy at home. I'm sorry I kept asking you about 'married life'. It was stupid of me not to notice you were sad."

"It's okay. I was the one keeping secrets." Heather muttered.

"Everyone has their own way of dealing." Dianna gripped Heather's hand tighter. "You don't have to justify anything. I'm just happy you're ok. You are ok, right?"

"I really am." Heather admitted firmly.

It made Naya's heart warm. Not just because part of her secretly rejoiced in these moments, but because she wanted the blonde to be happy. It broke her heart to see her sad no matter what was causing it.

On impulse, Naya stretched her leg until it reached Heather's. She bumped it softly gaining Heather's attention. The blonde smiled and hooked their feet together with the widest grin she had displayed so far.

* * *

><p>The sun was setting, a massive orange ball disappearing on the end of the parking lot. Naya didn't remember it being so big. But then again, the pavement also looked shinier, the clouds whiter and even the steps of her trailer looked cleaner. Maybe the whole world was its best version today.<p>

In no time, Heather was sprinting towards her again, bags of Chinese in hand. Her sun colored hair fought its way out of the high ponytail, making her look both crazy and adorable when she stopped in front of Naya.

"I look a mess, don't I?" Heather asked with an amused smile. "I was running as fast as I could. The food must be cold now."

Naya laughed easily. "It can't be cold. You were like a Velociraptor. It didn't have time to-"

Naya whined as her hand touched the scorching paper bag.

"Did you hurt yourself?" Heather asked quickly, bending to watch Naya's hands.

"Put that down!" Naya willed her, pointing at the food. "How can you not feel it?"

Heather put the bag on the step next to Naya, watching her own hands.

"You touched the bottom. That's the worst part."

Naya shook her head in disbelief. "You're nuts."

Heather shrugged her shoulders, grabbing Naya's hands and slowly caressing her fingers. It numbed the pain. Heather's warm fingers were soothing. The brunette found herself smiling, her eyes set on the freckles around Heather's nose.

The blonde smirked, feeling Naya's eyes on her. When she looked up the smirk disappeared and her expression turned peaceful, almost contemplative.

"Does it still hurt?"

"No." Naya said, letting her fingers play with Heather's.

"Let's eat then."

Naya leaned to the right, letting Heather take the spot next to her. Their sides clung together on the short space, each one holding a different box of noodles and vegetables. Naya watched Heather fiddle with her chopsticks, taking in the dancer's mood.

"You seem okay." She whispered. "I know today must have been rough, with having to explain everything to everyone."

Heather nodded, clutching her first noodle and eating it eagerly. Naya chuckled softly.

"Telly hasn't stopped apologizing. I got a text from him when I grabbed our food." Heather informed her. "It's better this way, though. Now it's out."

Naya sighed. It was good to see Heather take the break-up so well. She didn't want to upset the blonde my bringing it up, but she worried, as always. She didn't want her friend to hide her sorrow, if there was any. She was sure the blonde felt sad, in some way.

"You don't have to pretend you're not sad, you know." The brunette hesitated, looking at the blonde.

Heather met her eyes and smiled.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to. It's all so recent. If you pile up those emotions, they'll end up hurting you more." Naya breathed. "Believe me."

"I'm not pretending."

Naya believed her and that confused her even more. Wouldn't someone be sad after breaking up with a long-term boyfriend that had just moved in? She was still a little lost in all these changes, but she didn't need answers. It was Heather's life and as long as she was okay, nothing else needed to be said.

"It hurt before, but ever since we broke up, it stopped hurting as much. It's sad, obviously. But I know it was the right thing to do, so I'm good."

Heather spoke so firmly, Naya could only nod.

"I know everyone thinks it was really sudden." Heather said lowly, staring at her food. "But it wasn't really. And I've been single for a month already."

"Right. I keep forgetting about that."

When Heather looked at her she probably expected to see some resentment in Naya's eyes like the day before, but when she found the girl smiling, she grinned back. Suddenly the atmosphere turned playful, and Heather bumped against Naya for no reason in particular.

They ate their noodles, sharing looks and chuckling at each other. It was silly to be laughing at nothing but it made them relax completely.

The breeze picked up as the sun disappeared from view and the electric blue sky turned darker. The girls had finished their food but were too comfortable to move. When the wind started to prickle Naya's skin, Heather put her arm around her shoulders, bringing their bodies even closer together. Naya let her back nestle against Heather's torso, breathing in the smell of sweet perfume.

The loose strands of Heather's hair tickled her neck when the blonde rested her chin on Naya's shoulder. It made the brunette chuckle softly, capturing Heather's attention. The blonde realized what she was going so she gripped Naya tighter, blowing a soft puff of hair against Naya's neck. It was supposed to tickle her more, but instead it flared her stomach like a volcano. She fought to break free but Heather just held tighter, and truth be told, Naya wasn't putting much of a fight.

They laughed contently, and the brunette shifted on Heather's arms. Now her back was being held by Heather's left arm, while her right side still nestled on Heather's front. The blonde smiled at her gingerly, leaving a soft peck on Naya's forehead. Her lips retracted soon after, but she kept her face there. Heather's warm breath hit Naya's temple softly and it was worst than dizzying, it was paralyzing. Naya could say like that forever.

"Actually, this day was pretty amazing." Heather admitted softly.

The brunette was about to get lost in that moment when a thought entered her mind.

"We forgot about my car!"

Heather chuckled. "I didn't."

Naya gaped at her in amusement. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Don't worry. I called the company. I told them we would drive by tomorrow to get it. It's all taken care of."

Naya frowned, but the besotted smile didn't leave her lips. "But why didn't you tell me before?"

"I guess I wanted to be your driver for a bit longer." Heather was blushing, but her smile was confident. "I loved when we used to carpool."

Naya shook her head. "You really are nuts."

She acted impulsively when she inched forward and left a kiss on the dancer's chin. As soon as her lips made contact both girls turned three shades redder, if that was even possible. Naya felt her body buzzing with energy, but watching Heather she couldn't help but crack up.

"You're so red." She couldn't help but note, making the blonde look away bashfully. "You look sun-burnt."

"Shut up." Heather demanded, jerking Naya on her arms. "Just be ready for me to pick you up tomorrow at 6."

Naya's eyes bulged. "So early? We only need to be here at 8."

"I know. That way we have breakfast on our way."

Naya's grin was about to rip her face in half when she whispered, "Deal."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thank you so much for not giving up on me! I can't explain how much the support and the reviews mean to me. Also, rest assured that this chapter ends the break-up drama. I'm already working on Chapter 15 which is actually a special one for me. Until then, enjoy! :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hello everyone! Here comes another chapter. School and this part-time job I signed up for are making it reaaaally hard to update as often as I wished. But believe me, I'm trying my best. For every long wait, you get a long chapter. That's a promise. I hope you enjoy this :)**

**15. Tell her**

It had been two weeks since she and Naya had the talk. And in the course of those fourteen days they had picked up rituals as if things had never changed. Carpooling wasn't practical now that Naya lived further away, so instead they would call each other every night. And from the moment they sat to have dinner until the moment they went to bed they would talk.

Heather knew she was playing with fire. Not only because the memories of the past were fresh and awakened now, but mostly because of how she still felt.

Still felt… It was more than that.

Ever since she had acknowledged her feelings, it seemed like they had expanded. Knowing that Naya had reciprocated only worsened her condition. Yes, it was a condition. It had multiple side effects. Naya should come with a warning that read: "This person may cause erratic breathing, hypertension due to an increase of heart palpitations, chest pains, insomnia, loss of appetite, and in severe cases cardiac arrest."

Honestly, Heather felt cheated that this information wasn't on a pamphlet along with the "hi, nice to meet you". But to be fair, there was also the good part: the constant warmth hugging her heart; the never-ending grin she carried whenever Naya was around; the buzzing in her limbs whenever they touched; the maddening clench between her legs whenever they danced too closely.

It would be tiring if Heather wasn't so addicted to it.

At night, her mind would push sleep away with thoughts of how perfect they could be. Thoughts of the things she wanted to do with Naya. Sometimes of what she wanted to do to Naya which granted her a late night cold shower every time. She accepted all that came with it because she really had no other choice. She loved her.

Just a couple of days ago, Heather had arrived home with the most annoying headache of all time. The kind of headache that isn't strong enough for you to whine about it, but its insistent pounding ends up driving you insane.

She took a bath and a pill before plopping on the couch with a soda. Her head not really allowing her hunger to kick in.

In less than an hour her phone had rang announcing the best cure to any sickness.

"_Hey." Heather greeted softly._

"_Hi you."_

_Heather closed her eyes at the sound, letting the gentle tone alleviate the drilling on her temple._

"_How's that headache?"_

"_Still kicking."_

"_Awww. Maybe you're just hungry. Have you eaten yet?"_

"_I don't feel like it."_

"_Heather…"_

"_Seriously. It's like my brain is under construction. I just want to sleep and wake up feeling fine."_

"_You should eat something."_

"_I already took a pill."_

"_Great. Kill your stomach while you're at it."_

"_You're not really helping. Shouldn't you be all cute and supportive right now?"_

"_Not when you don't take my advice."_

"_I don't want advice, I want to cuddle."_

_It came out so honestly she didn't even stop to think the suggestion may be too forward. Naya's light chuckle relaxed her, and she felt herself smile._

"_We're phone cuddling."_

"_I can barely feel you."_

"_Lie on the couch with Zach and pretend it's me."_

_Naya may have been joking, but as soon as Heather's cat walked by she grabbed him and snuggled into his fur contently._

"_Done."_

"_Good. I'm sorry I forgot to wax."_

_Heather chortled. "It's okay. I wasn't planning on taking it that far, anyway."_

"_I'm insulted."_

"_Don't be. It's just because of the headache."_

"_That's the worst excuse in the book. Even men already know what that means. I thought we were better than that."_

"_If you were here, I would do you no matter what."_

_Heather popped her eyes open at her own words and caught the tense snort that left Naya's lips._

_There was a breathy pause before Naya's voice returned. "Don't abuse Zach, though. That would be just creepy."_

"_I promise." Heather replied with a small, earnest smile._

Any sort of innuendo left their conversation after that. They watched re-runs of Happy Endings and Naya managed to convince Heather to eat something before bed. And just like every other night, Heather tucked in with Naya's voice by her side.

Rituals. They came so easy to them.

Now, as she changed in her trailer, she couldn't stop the rush in her movements. Going home and prepping up for her nightly call had turned out to be the best part of her day. The domesticity she yearned for in the only way she could get it.

That notion brought another brunette to her mind.

Due to a last minute need to re-shoot they had been called to work last Saturday. It blew Kevin's party plans out of the window. But with a free Sunday on her hands, Heather had spent the day with Ashley. They went shopping for groceries and even stopped at IKEA in an effort for Heather to re-decorate her old apartment.

At home and after a round of drinks the 'Naya talk' had been brought up.

She couldn't really resist it. Ashley was the only other person who knew about her feelings and it felt good to share her frustrations from time to time. Heather never started the topic, though. She would mention the brunette here and there, but only in passing. Ashley was the one who would bring up the hard talk.

Maybe because she worried, or maybe because she just knew Heather too well.

"_Why don't you just tell her you're still deeply in love with her?"_

_The jokey tone didn't stop Heather's heart from racing faster at the idea._

"_You're crazy."_

"_Why not? Aren't you trying the whole honesty thing, now? You haven't been completely honest until you tell her how you still feel."_

"_Have you forgotten that she doesn't want to talk about it? She asked me not to." Heather shook her head to get the idea out. "I won't do it."_

"_She said that on the day Taylor moved out, Heather. That was ages ago." Ashley exaggerated._

"_It's only been 5 days."_

"_And from what you've told me, you two haven't spent one day without talking since then."_

"_We work together, Ash."_

"_I don't mean that kind of talk. You're not bullshitting your way out of this, Morris." Ashley took a deep breath, reaching for Heather's hand. "You two have been all lovey dovey since that day. And you know what happens when you get like that. I mean, you were there the last time."_

_Heather stood up from the couch creating a much needed distance from Ashley and her crazy ideas. Before she knew it, she was pacing._

"_You know I want to tell her. But we're in a good place right now. Why should I ruin it?"_

"_Who says you're going to ruin it? What if she tells you she loves you too?"_

_Heather's heart literally stopped for a second. When she tried to talk her breathing was so erratic that no words came out._

"_And even if she doesn't say it back, why would it ruin things? Look at your history. If you're still friends after everything that went down, you're clearly strong enough to make it through this."_

"_It's different now." Heather said, even though she didn't quite believe her words. "And I don't want to put us through more drama. We've had enough of that."_

"_Heather, it's not dramatic unless you make it so. Your feelings aren't going to disappear out of the blue. This is something you'll have to deal with. And if she doesn't love you like that, don't you think it's better to know now so that you can't start moving on?"_

_Heather snorted. "If I haven't moved on after 4 years, I won't move on now."_

"_You hadn't even dealt with your feelings, how did you expect to move on?"_

"_Ashley, it's not gonna happen. It's Naya. That's it. You're right about me having to deal with this, and I'm not saying I'll never tell her. I just don't think now is the right time."_

"_You'll wait around for her to be married with kids?"_

_Heather winced at the words which made Ashley immediately regret them, but before the girl could backtrack, Heather continued._

"_I'm not waiting for me, I'm waiting for her. She's not going to say she loves me back and I'm not going to dump that on her when she doesn't want me to."_

_Ashley's face saddened at the words and she tapped the seat next to her inviting Heather to sit. When the blonde did, Ashley enveloped her in a strong side-hug._

"_If you really think that, it's even more reason for you to tell her. You can't keep living this fantasy forever. Don't you see? You're hiding. You're playing girlfriends again, and I don't mean just at work. Look, not everyone gets to be with the love of their lives, but you have to keep on living anyway."_

_The thought alone hurt Heather even if she had no other choice. But she couldn't deny that the carpooling, the night calls, the teasing at work - they were all ways to live the romance she knew she couldn't actually experience._

"_Secrets hurt. You know this. You have made that choice before and it didn't work out. So why don't you try a different approach this time and get it out in the open? If you love her that much you should be honest with her." Ashley paused, looking at Heather adamantly. "You're starting anew. This is the time to talk things out, not months after."_

_Heather was silent now, letting the words sink in._

_Ashley didn't push anymore and they watched TV in silence. When her friend got ready to leave, Heather could tell the brunette was trying to tell her something. The blonde kicked her foot playfully getting her attention._

"_Go on. Say it."_

_Ashley smiled in relief, moving towards her for a hug._

"_I'm sorry for pushing you. I shouldn't have. I keep trying to be a good friend and sometimes I don't even notice I'm overstepping my boundaries."_

_Ashley moved back so she could face Heather. "Ignore my earlier rant. I was bullying you. People got inside your head in the past too and it wasn't helpful. Just do what you think is right. I'm sorry."_

_Heather smiled at her friend and cradled her face. "You don't try to be a good friend, you are."_

_She kissed Ashley's cheek before continuing._

"_And you're right." She admitted. "I'll think about it and make my decision, but I'm glad you said something. Sometimes I really need a slap in the face to wake up."_

"_It felt more like I was punching your gut."_

"_That's on Naya." Heather joked. "I'll be okay. I promise."_

And that had been the end of it. Since that day Ashley hadn't brought it up again and Heather knew she wouldn't. Almost a week had passed and the dancer was still thinking it over.

A knock on the door brought her out of her reverie. Heather opened it, revealing Lea waiting outside.

"Thank God, you're still here." Lea chimed. "What do you say to a girl's dinner date?"

"I thought everyone had left. But my answer is - absolutely."

"Great!" Lea exclaimed. "Jenna left already but she's meeting us at the restaurant. Amber already had plans so that leaves me, you, Dianna and Naya."

The blonde's heart did its usual cartwheel at the mention and she grinned genuinely. Excitedly she grabbed her bag and followed Lea outside.

They went to an Asian coffee shop that served the best mix of teas and cake. It had a Vegan menu on the side that Lea convinced everyone to try. Heather had to keep her chuckle in at the faces Naya was making while studying the menu. They all settled for an iced berry tea with cinnamon on top, baked tofu with ratatouille vegetables and a banana cake that Dianna assured was to die for.

"I'm so glad I'm here with you girls." Lea extended her arms to all of them with a tired smile. "I swear this episode is going to kill me."

"It's scary to think you could choke on the most important audition of your life," Jenna commented.

"It's awful."

"You would never choke." Naya countered. "Every time you get nervous you make it seem like you're playing it up."

Lea laughed, denying it nonetheless.

"You know it's true. I wish I was like that. When I get nervous my breathing does _not_ give room for discretion. It sounds like I'm either drowning or having an orgasm."

"The latter could open many doors." Dianna joked.

"Your nervous breathing is sexy." Heather blurted.

She wasn't sure if it was all in her head but it seemed like every set of eyes was on her as soon as she said it.

"What?"

Dianna smirked at her. "Heather is right. It is sexy. But the fact that you know it's nerves probably ruins it."

"Well thanks." Naya bumped against Dianna. "At least you'll never have that problem. They'll find you charming either way."

Dianna turned to Naya and they exchanged a smile. It was flirty but in that inoffensive way so natural to them. Heather couldn't help but feel a little bothered, though. There was a time when she would flirt with Naya all day, every day. It wasn't awkward even if it was tense and she missed it.

She missed doing that without arousing curious questioning eyes from everyone, including Naya. Not that she could complain. Things were not like before but it was getting there astonishingly fast.

As if reading her thoughts, Naya leaned against her resting her head on the dancer's shoulder. Heather couldn't stop the grin that took over her face.

Jenna's laughter pulled her back to the conversation. The other girl finished reading the text she had just received before turning her cell phone to them.

"Kevin's getting pretty serious about this party. He says he's moving the festivities to his parents Lake House. They'll be away next weekend."

"Gosh, I need that party. It's been too delayed already." Lea whined.

"And whose fault is that?"

"Well, Naya, it's the studio's fault. I didn't ask for us to shoot on Saturday last week. That never happened before."

"I'm talking about tomorrow."

"That's on Cory."

"Isn't he your boyfriend? That makes it your fault."

Lea shushed her before continuing. "No, it doesn't."

"Well, since the party is only next weekend, you could have one of your Saturday dinners." Heather suggested shamelessly, her mouth watering at the thought of Naya's food.

"Look at you." Naya smirked, threading their fingers together just as naturally. "Are you starving yourself with your improved cooking skills?"

Heather punched her shoulder half-heartedly, gripping their joint hands.

"Not everyone can be as flawlessly talented as you."

"I'm in." Jenna intervened, cutting off Heather's compliment. "I haven't been to one in months and I miss your comfy rug."

Naya cracked up loudly. "You do know I have couches, right?"

"Not as comfy as that rug," Jenna defended. "I'll even bring dessert."

"I'll get the wine." Heather announced excitedly.

"I miss cooking. Can I prepare something too and ease your chef duties?" Dianna nudged Naya.

"Awww, yes! I'll just make my famous shrimp appetizer then."

Heather nodded vehemently earning a dopey grin from Naya that had her chest expanding ten sizes.

Naya shook her head hopelessly. "Okaay. It's set then. But only us four this time."

"Well, now that you all made plans that exclude me, can we move onto more interesting subjects?" Lea mocked them playfully.

A hand gripped Lea's shoulder just then.

A dark blonde girl was grinning widely at the brunette but not before her eyes travelled up Naya's torso.

"Lindsaaaaay!" Lea practically shouted while standing up to hug the ogling stranger. "What are you doing here?"

"Work, of course." She explained before taking a hold of Lea's hands. "It's been too long!"

"Then why didn't you tell me you were here, slut?"

"I got here yesterday and I'm leaving tonight. This was my relaxing tea break before my flight back."

The girl eyed Naya again and it did nothing to relax Heather. Actually, it was borderline infuriating.

"Where are my manners? Girls, this is Lindsay Vaughn, the funniest girl in New York City. Lindsay, this is Jenna, Dianna, Naya and Heather."

They exchanged pleasantries while Heather wondered how long what's-her-name's relaxing tea break was going to last.

"I'm still waiting for your visit." Lindsay pouted.

"I know..." Lea started apologetically. "Work is crazy as you know, but I keep my promises. I'll visit you before summer."

"Awesome. I'm counting on it. And bring whomever you want. My house is big enough."

The blonde acknowledged everyone with a nod but her eyes stalled on Naya. Heather looked at her drink wondering why the iced tea was scorching her throat so painfully. It was comfortingly fresh just a minute ago.

Her eyes fell on Naya's timid smile and she realized the brunette was aware of the attention. It got her stomach in a knot and Heather feared the tea wouldn't stay down much longer. She was happy their food hadn't arrived yet.

After a bit more of small talk the blonde finally made a move to leave.

"It was nice to meet you all." The dark blonde said before sharing a long hug with Lea and walking away.

"Bye! Have a nice trip," echoed from the table.

Heather stayed silent, eying her empty plate until a tug on her hand made her look up. She hadn't realized she was still holding Naya's hand. She looked at the girl worrying that her typically nervous fidgeting had given her discomfort away. She found Naya's eyes set on their threaded fingers, with a content smile playing on her lips.

"She was totally into you!" Lea exclaimed excitedly.

"Stop." Naya warned, even though she was still smiling.

"I'm serious! And she's amazing. She's confident and funny. And she lives in New York. It's everything you like in a person." Lea continued. "Plus, she's a blonde."

Naya shifted in her seat awkwardly clearing her throat. The hand lock was quickly broken and Heather found herself not knowing what to do with her now free hand.

"Seriously, I'm not looking for a set up."

Dianna brushed her knuckles against Lea's arm in a subtle warning and the brunette breathed out heavily, signalizing her own defeat.

Heather didn't talk much after that. She put on a smile and made an effort to pay attention to what was being said, but something about that stranger had opened a can of worms inside her.

Ashley's words were playing on her head, like a tune that got stuck and you can't stop singsonging it.

The banana cake was without a doubt a life saver. Its sweet flavor seemed to melt Heather's frown and worries, making it easier to smile again.

"I told you it was great." Dianna said, observing Heather's delighted hungry smile.

"Calm down, beast, or you'll eat the plate." Naya teased, elbowing her side.

"I need a minute alone with this cake." Heather joked.

"She want that… Cake cake cake cake cake." Naya singsonged.

"Oh baby I like it…" Heather continued playfully. "It's so exciting."

"Imma make you my bitch." Naya finished with a wink.

Heather laughed even as a flush covered her cheeks.

The other girls were giggling at their silliness, and suddenly a game of "what would Rihanna say" started that had the girls laughing to tears.

* * *

><p>After their early dinner, Lea invited them to her place, which prompted Naya to make fun of her for always choosing restaurants near her house.<p>

"You're not fooling anyone." Naya had said; her hand already linked with Heather's again before they headed to their cars.

The drive to Lea's was less than five minutes, unless you count the extra ten minutes it took Heather to find a parking spot.

When she walked the block back to Lea's she found that only Naya was left waiting for her.

"They steal all my parking spots and don't even wait up? Nice." Heather mocked annoyance.

Naya shrugged with a lopsided smile. "I waited."

"That's why I love you the most."

They both chuckled a little tensely, before Heather took Naya's hand and pulled her up the stairs.

When they got inside, Lea was already grabbing blankets to move to the roof.

Heather took one and climbed after the girl. It was with a smile that she watched Naya move her own chair next to hers, cuddling to her arm as Heather put the blanket over their bodies.

The night was chilly but silent, leaving a peaceful quietness around the girls. They talked in almost whispers, just enjoying their late evening together.

"I said it before and I'll say it again, I'm glad we had this. I needed a calm night with the girls." Lea insisted with a content smile.

Naya let her head fall on Heather's shoulder and the blonde had to will her heart to beat slower. This was even better than a phone-call. The way Naya's body fit so perfectly with her own was something she would never get used to.

This was it; this was all she wanted because with Naya by her side she felt at home, no matter where she was.

"I need summer to begin already. It's ruining my favorite hang out spot." Lea complained; tucking the blanket over her body as the wind picked up.

"But it's so cozy like this." Naya noted, itching closer to Heather.

"You had all winter to cuddle. Enough already."

"There's never enough cuddling." Naya defended, locking her arm with Heather's under the blanket.

It made the blonde's skin vibrate at the contact.

"You girls will find any excuse to be all over each other." Lea poked fun at them, her eyebrow lifting as she teased. "I'm sure you'll find a suitable excuse for summer too."

Before they could even think of a response, Lea's phone rang with a text message.

"Seriously, think of all the 'Sex and the City' inspired parties I could have. And we would get a tan early on. Roofs are great for that!" The brunette continued as she reached for her phone.

Heather was trying hard to control the grin on her face but it was pointless. She tugged Naya closer as if that would make the moment last longer.

She was so distracted that Lea's squeal almost threw her out of her chair. Naya giggled at her, holding her steady.

"Nayaaaaa, I told you!" Lea continued shrieking. "I knew she was into you!"

With that she had everyone's attention.

"What do you mean?" Naya asked innocently.

Heather was sure the tiny brunette at her side knew what was coming just as much as she did. Heather held her breath, already feeling her heart drop. A tightness surrounding it that wasn't pleasant like the one Naya elicited so many times.

"It's Lindsay! She's asking if you're single and if you'd be okay with me giving her your number."

Naya straightened her back freeing Heather's arm. The blanket fell to their laps letting the cold night air hit Heather's torso. And just as quickly Heather lost all the warmth inside.

"No." Naya answered simply.

"No, you wouldn't be mad?!"

Heather was staring at the floor with what felt like a gun pointed to her chest.

"No, I don't want you to give her my number."

Heather turned to her slowly, still unsure.

"I need a break. I'm done with love trouble for a while."

It was hard to describe exactly what she felt at the moment. Maybe she simply wasn't feeling anything. For days now, every moment was filled with butterflies and giddiness, so this numbness was strange to her.

"Cheers to that." Dianna jumped in.

"What love troubles? I haven't seen you have those ever." Lea prodded.

"She means you Naya." Dianna snorted.

"I'm just not up for it right now." Naya said, facing Lea. "I tried with Nate and it didn't work out which just proves there's no point in forcing it. When it happens, it happens."

"You used to date people all the time." Lea pointed out. "And it seemed to work out fine."

"Yeah, but it was never serious. So what's the point?"

"The point is to have fun. You love New York City girls, you told me that. Maybe the problem with Nate was that you need a girl right now."

Naya was shaking her head at Lea.

"And she's just as busy as you, so she wouldn't put that much pressure on you."

"Yeah, because long-distance relationships are the easiest." Jenna mocked.

"They are when it's a fling." Lea insisted.

"Lea." Dianna warned and it was so gentle and final that even the insistent brunette knew to shut up.

"You love putting your nose in other people's business, don't you?" Naya spat with a lop-sided grin. "But the answer is no. Don't give her my number. If we ever meet again she can ask for it herself."

Heather froze at that. It was a small window of opportunity the blonde was not comfortable with. And that was all it took. It was as if Heather could see their bubble breaking before them. The fantasy dissipating before her eyes.

This is what Ashley tried to tell her. And once again she had been right. There would be Lindsays and Nates in Naya's future, and Heather had no right to meddle. They weren't dating; they weren't together in any way. The hugs, the cuddling, the pillow talks… That was a smoke screen. Heather could try and hold onto it but she would end up with empty hands. That was something she had yet to deal with.

"It's not even charming that she asked through you." Jenna commented.

"Okaaaaay," Lea relented. "My nose if officially out of your business."

"That sounded sexual." Heather muttered, trying to participate in the conversation in some way.

"Thank you." Naya smiled at Lea before turning to Heather with a playful grin. "And you put that dirty mind to rest."

Heather smiled but it wasn't the vigorous smile she had been sporting lately. Naya seemed to notice, so the blonde averted her eyes back to the group. Suddenly, she wished they weren't sitting so close. She wished she could put her own feelings aside just enough to get through this. Just this one evening.

"I simply don't understand how amazing girls like you are still single." Lea seemed revolted as her eyes roamed both blondes and Naya. "Seriously… It's crazy."

"We don't need boys." Dianna shrugged her off. "I'm very comfortable with being single."

"But it does warm up the bed."

"I have Arthur for that."

"And I'll buy myself a dog too." Naya announced cheekily. "Then I can cuddle all year."

"Pets are the best." Jenna agreed. "Boyfriends aren't as fuzzy"

"That's because you're dating a brick wall." Lea mocked her. "He's all muscle."

"You jealous?"

"Why would she be, she has flubber Monteith." Naya couldn't resist.

Lea threw an actual shoe at Naya who shamelessly hid under Heather's arm. The footwear hit Heather's knee before falling flatly on the ground.

"Ouch!"

"Sorry! It was meant for the minx."

"I'm sorry." Naya whispered leaving the hiding spot under Heather's arm and blanket. "Did it hurt?"

Heather couldn't help but smile at the tender brown eyes watching her. She shook her head no before turning. She found Dianna watching her with knowing eyes.

"And you have Zach." Dianna spoke gently, watching Naya snuggle back to Heather's torso.

Heather watched the blonde for a second, at the same time trying to ignore the effect of Naya's touch.

"Y-yeah." She managed to say.

Naya clung to her and with that Heather made her decision.

"Girls, I should be going."

"Already?" Lea was the first to react. "No! Why?"

"It's Zach." Heather said the first thing that came to her mind. "He's been alone all day. I need to go feed him."

She felt Naya let go and turn to her slightly. The blonde avoided her gaze, worrying that the girl would read the truth she was desperately hiding.

"Oh, poor guy." Jenna commented with a frown. "He must feel the place is emptier nowadays."

Jenna seemed to regret her words immediately, quickly adding, "With Ashley moving out."

"Yeah. And it's late. He must be wondering where I am."

The girls chuckled at that, which somehow calmed Heather.

"I'll let you go then. I don't want to piss off PETA." Lea joked.

"He appreciates it." Heather finished with a small smile before getting up and waving goodbye to everyone.

Even Naya, albeit quickly.

Heather stalled her pace until she got downstairs, not wanting the girls to hear her run out the door. She felt like a caged animal marching towards her things. With her purse in hand she headed to the doorway.

Heather felt as if she would burst without the night's cold air. The roof had become too small for her and for a moment she knew how it felt like to be claustrophobic.

When she reached the door handle a surge of relief rushed through her before it halted drastically at Naya's call.

"Heather, wait up!" The brunette followed her, bag in hand. "I'm leaving too."

The blonde smiled tight lipped, trying to seem content or at least neutral about this news. But her eyes were stinging with tears and she had to clench her jaw to keep them in.

She turned to the door and opened it leaving first. For the first time in years she didn't care to play the gentlemen.

As soon as they got outside the blonde walked towards her car. Naya's hand held her elbow, once more stalling her escape.

"Can we talk?"

"Now?"

"On the way to the car."

"Is something wrong?" Heather asked suddenly worried.

"I don't know, is there?"

"You're asking me?" Heather replied taken aback, before the light bulb lit on again.

"What's wrong?" Naya's tone was gentle and caring, but mostly worried. Her brown eyes were curious and confused.

Heather took a deep breath. "I'm tired. I'm afraid I'll fall asleep in the car if I don't leave now."

Naya's brow furrowed but she nodded softly. "Zach is with Ashley tonight. You told me that. So who do you got to feed, Heather?"

Stunned, the blonde opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. It wasn't like she couldn't make up yet another excuse. But what would be the point? Naya had followed her for a reason. The girl knew her too well.

"Why are you running home, Heather?"

Naya's eyes were set on her patiently. Heather looked away knowing she had nothing to say to the brunette, or maybe too much to say. She hadn't chosen yet.

"Heather…"

"Naya, please. I want to go home."

Naya averted her eyes for the first time and nodded solemnly.

"Why don't you go back inside? You really have nothing to worry about." Heather tried.

"I don't want to go back. I just want to know what happened that made you so sad all of a sudden." Naya admitted a little breathlessly.

Heather felt her jaw clench again but this time out of frustration. It wasn't directed at Naya, but at herself and her own mood swings. She had to stop worrying the girl. And she had to stop bringing her drama to their relationship. She didn't want this. She didn't want Naya's worried eyes on her. It was all her fault.

"I can't tell you everything. Some things I have to keep to myself." Heather stated weakly, despite her attempt to sound firm.

"I don't want to pry. But we promised to be honest from now on. And it just feels like you're slowly wallowing and shutting off all over again."

"That's not what's happening."

"Isn't it?"

"Don't push it, Naya." Heather begged more than demanded.

"What, Heather? Don't push what?"

"This!" Heather huffed. "Don't make me talk about things you probably don't even want to hear about. Just let me be alone when I tell you I need it."

Naya was studying her face like a puzzle. She seemed to hesitate on whether to keep fighting or doing as the blonde asked. Heather hoped for the latter.

"I know that look, Heather. I know it."

Heather could feel her walls breaking as doubt clouded her mind.

"Why are you doing this?" Heather whispered.

She felt the first tear fall. She knew she probably sounded overdramatic, but the way Naya was looking at her so intently was too much to handle right now. The girl wanted answers that Heather was too afraid to give. It was all building up in her chest making it hard to keep her emotions in check.

She felt about to explode, the night air doing nothing to calm her down after all. Her skin was heated and it made every single limb ache, but her insides were cold with fear and nerves.

Naya's hands gripped her forearms strongly, slightly shaking her as if that would speed the process.

"I know I can't stop you from being sad, but I want to help. I want to understand whatever it is you're going through. I thought you were okay, happy even, but then…"

Naya was hesitant now, despite her strong grip.

"Is it me?" Naya met her eyes and there was a seriousness there that Heather couldn't pinpoint. "Am I doing something to make you uncomfortable… again?"

Maybe it was the sadness and vulnerability in Naya's eyes. Maybe Heather was just too tired or finally strong enough. Whatever it was, she couldn't help it any longer.

"Yes, it's you. It's always been you." Her voice wavered with grief. "I try not to feel it but I do. Every single time and every single moment. I just can't make it stop."

The despair clouded her voice making it hoarse as fresh tears fell from her eyes. Naya didn't let go of her arms, but her grip weakened.

"Being your friend is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me and I don't want to ruin it. I really don't." Heather gasped a painful breath. "But it kills me. It kills me whenever I think about it. It kills me even when I don't. It's been years and I still don't know how to control this. So… So maybe I should really just not be your friend."

Naya blinked in shock, swaying in her spot looking so hurt that Heather felt the need to continue.

"Not this close of a friend." Heather remedied as Naya's hands released her arms. "Because I can't help but take it too far. And I get so jealous of everyone around you. I get so jealous of anyone who gets to have you."

Understanding suddenly downed on Naya and Heather felt her face grow hotter.

"And it's unfair to throw this on you and to use your friendship to satisfy the need for what I'll never have."

Heather couldn't breathe anymore. She really couldn't. Even Naya's shallow intakes of breath astounded the blonde's incapacitated lungs. She felt like her body was losing all function.

"I'm so sorry for constantly breaking us. I keep drowning us in drama. And I wish I could make it stop. Because the thought of losing you altogether is terrifying and…" Heather fought a sob. "And my heart breaks. It really breaks just saying it. But it's what I have to do. I know I can't keep worrying you and stopping you from having a good time just because I'm too selfish to just be happy for you. I swear I'll try to learn. And if you let me, I'll always be your friend. I just can't… I can't keep pretending that things are as they used to be. So please. Just let me go home."

Even though Naya hadn't moved an inch or responded, the blonde felt she was now free to leave. With all the will power she still had, she managed a smile. It probably looked pathetically dejected, but at least she tried.

Heather turned around and took large steps towards her car. She sprinted to freedom even though she had never felt so powerless.

It was out now. She should be relieved, but Naya's silence, Naya's shock, it had hurt more than she ever expected it to. She thought she was ready for it. After all, she had no hope of things turning out differently. But once again she had been in denial.

There was always the tiniest glint of hope in every moment she had shared with Naya - before Taylor, during Taylor, but especially after him. She had fooled herself into thinking she was capable of handling Naya's rejection, but now she knew she had no clue how much it would hurt.

How would she face her now? How could she? It wasn't just embarrassing, it was final. Hope was gone now.

Her sorrow shook every fiber in her body. It blinded her as she wandered down the street.

The heart Heather thought had died was jolted into motion by the touch of a hand. The blonde cleared her eyes to find Naya standing in front of her, breathless and speechless, her eyes bright and watery but with no trace of sadness.

Heather was confused and dizzy by the sudden apparition. Naya opened her mouth to speak but said nothing.

Heather barely had time to register their closeness before Naya's hands pulled at her neck and their lips met.

There was a pause, a mile-second pause during which Heather froze. Her brain raced to catch up with what her eyes had just witnessed and what her lips were feeling – a mile-second before her body could react. A mile-second longer than it took her insides to ignite.

Heather gasped against Naya's mouth, taking her lips with a need and want she was unaware could reach such levels.

Her eyes closed tightly as if afraid the girl would disappear at her sight. She trembled at the sensation of Naya's nose grazing her own before it pressed her cheek with the force of their kiss.

She trembled at the feel of Naya's arms wrapping around her neck, their bodies colliding and melding like they had waited a lifetime to find the perfect fit.

Heather was bewildered, absolutely stunned; her lips firmly pressing against the velvety ones that had been away for far too long.

She breathed in loudly when her slow but racing mind finally realized what this meant. It made Naya press even harder against her, smiling against Heather's mouth. The blonde met her smile with one of her own before they slowly pulled apart and stared at each other.

Heather's heart had not just revived but grown out of her chest. She could feel her own pulse everywhere in her body and her lungs were suddenly awakened, swallowing gulfs of air. Naya cradled Heather's face wiping away the tears before their lips met again.

As Naya's lips opened against hers, Heather desperately gripped her sides making sure the girl was real. Her lips moved in painstaking slow motion registering the touch of Naya's soft mouth caressing her own.

Her body screamed. The butterflies in Heather's stomach were so strong they created waves of chills through her spine. Her hands were shaking against Naya's hips as she was lifted into a haze of happiness and lunacy.

Surely, she had to be completely nuts by now.

Not containing her own muscle's excitement, the blonde lifted the brunette in her arms gluing their bodies impossible closer. It was as if every inch of her body was celebrating their moment. Every limb and every nerve that had suffered without her.

The blonde choked a laugh, still having a hard time believing this was happening.

"You have to stop running away from me before I can tell you how much I love you too." Naya croaked out, with such tenderness and happiness that it made Heather freeze and pop her eyes open in awe.

"Oh my God…" She heard herself mutter.

"Yeah." Naya smiled widely.

Heather shook her head watching Naya's loving brown eyes, Naya's tear stained cheeks, Naya's light blush, Naya's smothered gloss, Naya's unwavering grin. She felt the girl's arms lift from her shoulders to thread on her hair and the world stopped.

Nothing else existed. Nothing else mattered. All that lived in Heather's world was the girl now standing in front of her, holding her, letting her know she wasn't alone in this anymore, letting her know she was loved back.

And with that she kissed her. This time closing the gap with a certainty she had never felt before.


End file.
